Christmas; don't even know where to start

[bloodywhitecat]

DH in hospital after a massive stroke, I am hoping to get him home but all this omicron business is making me sick with nerves that it won't happen. He already has terminal cancer and we are waiting to find out if he is now stage 4. Care package in place starting on 20th but there has been a positive PCR in his bay so he is now in a cohort, at the moment they are saying as long as he tests negative they will discharge as early as this coming week but what if the government change the rules again? DH is triple vaccinated.

Foster kids are sorted for presents I think

Rest of the family? My DS is, DH's DD and her partner are, my DD and son-in-law aren't nor is DH.

Cards? Not a snowball in hell's chance

House? Not decorated, I have no inclination to do it. I have no idea where to even put a tree since the lounge now has a hospital bed in it and just about enough room for a hospital chair and one IKEA Poang chair.

Food? Ha! Not even started. Am now staying home so that if DH does get out I am free of covid.

What do I do (apart from hide under a very large rock and drink gin)?

Put a tree up just to lift everyone's spirits. Nice feel when DH comes home.
No one needs cards.
Presents small but thoughtful. Order online, arrange pre wrapped if an option.
Food - one big home delivery this week for next 3 weeks. Get canned / get frozen / nothing needs to be fresh. With food in the house you can then put that out of your mind and tick it off the list.
Then focus on Xmas films to occupy your mind.

You do what you are obviously doing now, and that is being a pretty fabulous wife. Get help, as in ask for it. Get friends and family to put the dec's up, buy your dh a book from his childhood that he will appreciate and that you can read him if he's not up to it. And, give yourself a break, have a rest and breathe. Stuff will get done, it always does, don't stress xx

If you can't do the tree, what about any ornaments or some lights?
Personally, I'd just tell the extended family you weren't doing presents this year for obvious reasons and buy some small gifts for your DH.
Food - you can do an online order for some nice bits and pieces. Don't put pressure on yourself to cook elaborate meals. Go simple. Look at the ready done options for as much as possible.
And look after yourself as well. You can't look after everyone else if you ran into the ground. Ask for help from those that love you, even if it's just organising your food shop. You can do this.

Money for everyone, gift for dh, tree up. That's what I could focus on. Not sure what you think about Christmas lunch...my ds favourite part of Christmas is turkey sandwiches with a bit of stuffing and cranberry sauce. Just buy in a but of cooked slice turkey for ease. If DH is up to having a Christmassy nibble.

I would do as much or little as you can manage, and focus on what feels importantl to you and your DH

I can do lights but when I say there is no room for a tree, there really is no room for a tree. We live in a cottage and the rooms are tiny, I need to have space for carers to move the bed out so they can do DH's personal cares and to be able to move him into a chair when he wants a change of position. I can hang some tree ornaments from the windows as the frames are quite deep. DH usually put lights in the old oak in the front garden, I will ask my best friend's partner if he would mind doing that for me. I wouldn't usually decorate until next weekend any way but DH would be chomping at the bit to get the lights up!

Ready done food is a good idea and I will rope some friends in as once he's home I am not going to be able to leave the house so I am going to need the help to get the bits and pieces I need.

Oh bless you. You do have a lot going on.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself (2 weeks time Christmas will be over!)
Do everything online. Forget the cards. Just a few decs will do. Either ask people what they want, or give money. Everyone will understand.
Christmas is a special time of year, but not every year will be the same. Sometimes we need to adapt and accept that.
Focus on you and your DH. You’re going through a very tough time. 💐

Bloom and wild do some tiny little real Christmas trees - even come ready decorated. They are like a small houseplant.

Seconding the mini tree from Bloom and Wild idea. They come with little paper ornaments but you can use your own real ones - I have done this and it looks nice.

For gifts, if you want to do them, I'd say just sit down and do it in one go. Two online shops maximum (ideally one). You can include gift bags in the order and give them in those - no wrapping needed.

The app Paperless Post has really nice and easy e-cards if you wanted to send a Christmas message by email that was a bit more card-like, but totally agree with PPs that it's also 100% fine to just ditch cards completely.

Keeping everything crossed for you both.

With all kindness intended- I’m sure your daughter and her husband are going to understand even if you don’t manage to sort a gift for them- transfer money for them to choose their own? Often the best outcome anyway as they get what they want and you dont have the hassle. What Is your husband able to enjoy right now? Could you buy him something to keep him entertained like an Alexa with the screen? To watch stuff on or listen to the radio on? Or a heated throw if he’s colder than previously if his mobility is reduced…cozy socks etc.
Please take people up on their offers of help- they will feel so useless and be more than happy to help you. But also be aware that you’re going through a hellish time and no one will expect it to be all Merry and Bright. So be kind to yourself.

How about a poinsettia for the windowsills and battery fairy lights wherever you can. The pound shop has lovely little sets, I hope you have your husband home and have a happy and peaceful Christmas, remember to look after you too

Trees. It is peaceful here now, I hope he gets to see it.

It looks lovely

Good tree Please, please ask for help from friends and family - meals/Christmas baking/shopping/wrapping - whatever you need. I bet there are quite a few like me who never know what to say but would like to show they care.

OP, I'd I was your family the biggest gift you could give me was to let me help you. No-one will be expecting gifts in your circumstances. But if I could bring you some food or a pre decorated little tree or something then I would love to do so.
I really hope that you get to have the best Christmas you can.