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Original poster

When your gift is less than the recipients?

32 replies

MsWalterMitty · 06/12/2021 18:52

I visited the in-laws over the weekend… they’re 4 hours away so it was our Christmas visit! We won’t see them until after the new year now.

We exchanged gifts… but haven’t opened them! And my sil has definitely got me more than I her! She asked for a bottle of her fave gin, soo that’s what I got her. I asked for a bottle of port, but in the bag is a bottle and two boxes!!

I feel bad, despite sticking to the request!

Do I send a little something extra in the post (I haven’t sent cards yet) or just leave it?

OP posts:
Bumblebeefriend · 06/12/2021 19:00

Open the boxes and see what's there - it might just be something quite inexpensive.

Original poster
MsWalterMitty · 06/12/2021 19:10

Ha, that’s a good idea 😀

OP posts:
Original poster
MsWalterMitty · 06/12/2021 19:19

@Bumblebeefriend

Open the boxes and see what's there - it might just be something quite inexpensive.
A bottle of port, m&s Christmas cake, and Thorntons chocs
OP posts:
MrsFoxyplease · 06/12/2021 19:21

I'd probably send a voucher tbh with the card.

rosiebl · 06/12/2021 19:24

Generally port is cheaper than gin, so she probably thought to fill it out a bit so it's more equal. Send a thank you text on Christmas Day and forget about it.

kowari · 06/12/2021 19:25

Leave it. It's her choice to give more. If she just likes giving then she will be happy with her present as it is. Don't let it make you feel bad or that you need to give more.

Tulipomania · 06/12/2021 19:27

It's the thought that counts, not the cost.

GADDay · 06/12/2021 19:28

Well if you are going on value alone, google the value of the port. If it's comparable to the gin, then backfill your gift. For me that's not what Xmas is about though.

Might be that your lovely SIL just wanted to treat you and that a simple thank you would suffice.

LethargicActress · 06/12/2021 19:29

Leave it, it’s fine.

CourtRand · 06/12/2021 19:29

Leave it. That's fine, she just threw some bits on top.

Gearedtoyou · 06/12/2021 19:30

I'm going to say her gin is more expensive and she knows that so she's padded a bit, but even if not, it's close enough not to matter. Definitely don't send anything extra.

Aimee1987 · 06/12/2021 19:31

@rosiebl

Generally port is cheaper than gin, so she probably thought to fill it out a bit so it's more equal. Send a thank you text on Christmas Day and forget about it.
This was my thought. The other stuff is just some stocking filler stuff. Your probably only talking bout a quid or 2 difference either way.
MeltedButter · 06/12/2021 19:31

Leave it. You don't have to calculate everything.

Noeuf · 06/12/2021 19:33

This way madness lies op. Give a gift with kind and generous intent, to your budget and knowing it is given in the hope the recipient enjoys it.

Original poster
MsWalterMitty · 06/12/2021 19:35

Okay! Thanks.

I’m not big on Christmas but dh’s family are. I always worry I’m missing the mark with gifts.
Thank

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 06/12/2021 19:36

No, where does it stop.

You Google a d you spent £20 in gin and she spent £15 on port, £5 in cake and £7 in chocs. So you send her an extra present for a tenner in the sale so you're £3 ahead. She googled the price, sees its £14 full price so assumes you are £7 ahead. She gets another gift in the sales for £8 so you send them a box of Pound Land chocs...

She sent you what she wanted. Be gracious

Bumblebeefriend · 06/12/2021 19:37

Yes I would leave it too, but make sure and say thank you. Any bits you send now will look like an after thought.

LubaLuca · 06/12/2021 19:42

I don't think it's worth trying to balance up for the sake of a few quid. She hasn't been extravagant, she tried to make the gift look a bit more personal than giving just the one thing you asked for.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 06/12/2021 19:45

If someone asks for a specific thing I usually get that and a small extra thing for a surprise element. That’s probably what she’s done. You don’t have to do the same but may be something to keep in mind for the future if you’re generally worried about missing the mark on Christmas gifts.

Lovemusic33 · 06/12/2021 19:47

It’s fine. I love gifting, I don’t expect the same in return…after all, it’s the thought that counts, not the cost.

freshcarnation · 06/12/2021 19:50

Someone is always going to spend more. Its irrelevant. Enjoy the gift

CrumpledCrumpet · 06/12/2021 20:04

It’s a gift, not a transaction. Leave it, and just say thank you.

Allthatglittersandgold · 06/12/2021 20:20

Absolutely not. Urgh why are you even questioning it? She chose to give you something else, pretty sure it's not tit for tat.

NellieBertram · 06/12/2021 20:22

I'd find it really weird if someone totted up what we'd each spent on gifts! It would be uncomfortable to mention it and even worse to send her the difference in a card Shock

Just accept the gift graciously.

Alcemeg · 06/12/2021 21:20

@Noeuf

This way madness lies op. Give a gift with kind and generous intent, to your budget and knowing it is given in the hope the recipient enjoys it.
This!

A friend of mine, his family exchange gifts and receipts at Xmas, so that they can then reimburse each other for any discrepancies in spending.

Somehow this doesn't peal merry bells of Xmas cheer, in my view...

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