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Worst secret santa gift you've received?

231 replies

buddhasbelly · 02/12/2021 11:02

Mine was gin infused chocolates, when the whole office knows I'm a recovering alcoholic.

Please tell me your worst secret santa gifts you've received?

My office pal got the chocolates 😂

OP posts:
mam0918 · 02/12/2021 20:09

After reading you wonder what goes through people's heads... these sexual, sexist and joke gifts should be dragged into HR.

A joke gift is only ok if your genuinely really close friends and are in on the joke and what on earth makes people buy sexual gifts.

I bought:

  1. A pet photoshoot with framed photos included (woman just got a new puppy and went on and on about wanting to get loads of photos to remember him being tiny because he was 'growing too fast').

  2. an mechanical pencil engraved with their name (office architect, only joined a week before Xmas and didn't actually start until mid-January so knew nothing but his name but figured a nice pen/pencil is at least useful as a 'safe' generic gift).

  3. a collectors comic book of a series they were crazy about for the 'nerdy' slightly strange teen boy in the group - he openly loved it because I took the time to find the right one.

Never once did I think 'you know what's a hilarious gift? fanny's, tits, dicks, diarrhea, and farts.' that's only funny if you're 10 year old.

I did have friends at work where I probably could have gotten away with buying them a chocolate cock (like my gay friend who openly joked about cocks daily etc...) or inflatable tits pillow (my best friend where we have an in-joke about our boobs) but I still would have attempted to get something more personal.

PumpkinCrumble · 02/12/2021 20:19

A quarter bottle of Morrison’s own-brand vodka. But compared to some of these I think I got off lightly. Confused

TowandaForever · 02/12/2021 20:22

@therebeccariots

A pen holder in the shape of a wheelie bin......
They sold those in Poundland.
ArblemarchTFruitbat · 02/12/2021 20:29

Received - A mildly raunchy after-dinner game. I've only ever given one dinner party in my life and that was about 20 years ago! I sold it at a car boot sale for 50p the following summer.

Given - I went slightly over-budget to buy someone a make-up bag by a designer I knew she liked (she had other things of same brand) but it looked rather small on the day next to boxes of chocolates, Baylis & Harding, wine etc. and my colleague looked underwhelmed when she opened it although didn't say anything - I was sorry as she was a lovely colleague and I'd wanted to make her happy, but at least I tried.

MargaretThursday · 02/12/2021 20:32

Dh is a very good pianist, and also has perfect pitch.

Someone gave him a mini keyboard that was out of tune with itself. I found it funny and played "we wish you a merry Christmas" with one finger while he (and another colleague who is also a excellent musician) tried not to wince. Grin

TonkinLenkicks · 02/12/2021 20:52

Nipple tassels. No no no no no.

claireb7rg · 02/12/2021 20:52

Had clearly been regifted...

Given to me 11 years ago today (came up on my Facebook memories this morning), by my boss at the time, who I'd worked for for 2 1/2 years 😭😭

Worst secret santa gift you've received?
JackyinaTracky · 02/12/2021 20:58

Secret Santa was banned in an office I worked in (about 20 years ago) when somebody bought an over weight guy a bra! So cruel. He was mortified. Just such a nasty thing to do to humiliate somebody like that.
Last job we got fed up with people forgetting so we had a record keeper from another team note who got who. They never spilled the beans but it stopped the ‘forgetters’ and the standard of gifts improved 🤣

BluebelllsRosesDaffodills · 02/12/2021 21:14

@Chunkymenrock

Chocolate penises. I don't find things like that remotely 'hilarious' and I expect the chocolate was vile. Got dumped in a bin. Such a disgusting waste of £5. 5 large £1 bars of Aero/Milky Bar/Dairy Crunch etc would have been infinitely better.
You could have donated them to the food bank
leftistbimbo · 02/12/2021 21:15

My housemate got me a bag of potatoes, a tin of beans and some grated cheese in our uni house secret santa a few years ago. Would’ve been fine if the budget wasnt £20!

DamnitFanny · 02/12/2021 21:15

My DD (then 11) was part of a class SS - everyone picked a name and bought a present around £5. She got one of the boys and spent ages picking lovely bits and pieces. On the day she was the only one to get nothing - the girl ‘forgot’. I emailed the teacher - asked her not to say anything but in future if they did SS ask for them to be handed in to the teacher a day early and check they’re all there. I think she may have said something as 2 days later the girl grumpily gave DD an unwrapped fleecey blanket from Primark. DD was delighted!! Smile

Chunkymenrock · 02/12/2021 21:19

I live in a remote Welsh place. No food banks anywhere round here unfortunately and not worth an 18 mile round trip.

Stormyinacoffeemug · 02/12/2021 21:20

Forgot this one...a pokemon dictionary. I was 36.

wendywoopywoo222 · 02/12/2021 21:24

First year in my new job about 18 I lived in an army garrison town and dated a few squaddies. For my secret Santa I got a bag of toy soldiers with instructions to glue one to my headboard for each squaddie so I could keep count. I was mortified but managed to laugh till I was on my own.

tillytoodles1 · 02/12/2021 21:31

My late husband had Multiple Sclerosis and he was given a blow up walking frame as a "joke".

SapphireSeptember · 02/12/2021 21:35

I have an easy one. Someone I used to work with got me a butt plug with a fluffy tail attached. Worst thing was I got excited because I thought it was a soft toy type thing (I'm a huge Pusheen fan) and opened it in front of everyone who was at work that day. (I'm blushing just typing that out.) Blush

spinachandchickpea · 02/12/2021 21:56

‘The very busy day’, a second-hand dog-eared book for toddlers. My boss was too tight to spend £5 and his toddler had grown out of it. He justified it on the grounds I was in my first year at work and so must be busy.

SpookyScarySkeletons · 02/12/2021 21:59

@mam0918

After reading you wonder what goes through people's heads... these sexual, sexist and joke gifts should be dragged into HR.

A joke gift is only ok if your genuinely really close friends and are in on the joke and what on earth makes people buy sexual gifts.

I bought:

  1. A pet photoshoot with framed photos included (woman just got a new puppy and went on and on about wanting to get loads of photos to remember him being tiny because he was 'growing too fast').

  2. an mechanical pencil engraved with their name (office architect, only joined a week before Xmas and didn't actually start until mid-January so knew nothing but his name but figured a nice pen/pencil is at least useful as a 'safe' generic gift).

  3. a collectors comic book of a series they were crazy about for the 'nerdy' slightly strange teen boy in the group - he openly loved it because I took the time to find the right one.

Never once did I think 'you know what's a hilarious gift? fanny's, tits, dicks, diarrhea, and farts.' that's only funny if you're 10 year old.

I did have friends at work where I probably could have gotten away with buying them a chocolate cock (like my gay friend who openly joked about cocks daily etc...) or inflatable tits pillow (my best friend where we have an in-joke about our boobs) but I still would have attempted to get something more personal.

Yes!!! I totally do this too, take time to know who you are buying for.

2 years ago I got given a quiet accountant who only really talked about his dog. His social media was full of pictures of his dog. I bought a lovely "me and my dog" photo frame and lifted one of the nice pics off his social media and he still has it on his desk now.

RestingStitchFace · 02/12/2021 22:00

Some shot glasses. When I took them home and opened the box, discovered they'd been used before and not washed! Eeeuw.... Grin

evangeline12 · 02/12/2021 22:02

a packet of tesco spicy chicken legs. they were good but wtf

Rhannion · 02/12/2021 22:08

Someone on here said that her company are not doing secret Santa this year. Instead they are donating the money to charity which is an excellent idea imo. Better than silly gifts

123feraverto · 02/12/2021 22:09

A book about princess Diana

Midge75 · 02/12/2021 22:16

Not me but my daughter - who was being bullied by the class anyway - £5 limit, she got someone a toiletry bag with their initial on it, a nice notepad and a llama keyring, because the girl liked llamas. Apparently everyone had decent presents. My daughter got one chocolate coin. Not one of those big ones - just a standard one from a bag. She was so upset. Just kicking her when she was already down.
I got it wrong one year too. I got the boss, £5 limit. Should have just got a bottle of wine. My husband persuaded me to get a pen set and a little Dilbert book. Thinking about it now, it's not a terrible present for an office manager, but I just remember a team mate going on and on all day about what a rubbish present it was. Not sure I managed to keep my blushes in check!

Mayhemmumma · 02/12/2021 22:23

I was about 19 or 20, first office job excited about the office outing and secret Santa. I received a huge China football money box with little legs with football boots on.

I cried.

Idontthinklikethat · 02/12/2021 22:26

It was an apron “oh nice” I thought…bit random / boring… but then I lifted up the flap on the front and it had a hole and above it said “I’ll bring the sausages you bring the buns” 😳 lol. At an office party…mortified.