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Christmas

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Original poster

The Elf - were my children horribly deprived?

109 replies

AndMatt · 30/11/2021 22:21

I only became aware of it when an adult friend started sharing the mischief his elf was getting up to on FB about 8 years ago. And very funny it was too.

I have children now 18 and 20, I swear he didn't exist when they were of the right age. Did I just miss it and they were the only ones who didn't have an elf visiting? They never mentioned it, but if it really has only been around less than a decade, blimey it got traction quickly!

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 01/12/2021 06:45

We do it. Nothing outlandish, takes a minute to move it every night. The elf doesn't spy on my children and they know it really doesn't come to life but they like to pretend as it's fun.

Just like everything - some people do it and some don't. I agree that if it's a burden then don't bother but if it isn't a burden then why not?

EcoCustard · 01/12/2021 06:46

I don’t do it and will not be doing it. Eldest dc in yr2 mentioned a few times that their friends have one but I don’t think me not doing it will lead to long term damage. My Facebook feed last night started filling up with the elf setup last night so unfollowed so I don’t have to see it (bah humbug) . Seems like more work, faff and I find the concept a little creepy.

A580Hojas · 01/12/2021 06:50

My children are exactlyvthe same ages as yours OP and we were all blissfully unaware of elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve boxes. Fortunately! I really don't think it waa any loss at all.

Mittenmob · 01/12/2021 06:50

I have a 6yo. I've never done it. 24 days of martyrdom. No thanks! I can barely get everyone out of the door in the morning!

incognitodorrito · 01/12/2021 06:57

The thought of telling my DC that some weird doll with manic eyes is now in our house and watching their every move seems a bit creepy. I think it’s performative parenting as most elf’s get showcased on Facebook. My daughter did once grumble that she didn’t have one but also finds them a bit creepy..

Lostmyheart101 · 01/12/2021 06:58

If women are ridiculous to you, feel free to jump ship.

And for the record me and my husband -who is a man - does elf for the kids. This is our 9th year, so before it was a thing. I’ll tell him his been doing it wrong and only stupid women can do it, not men who are loving fathers.

Thegreencup · 01/12/2021 07:01

@AndMatt

How did something that's such a pain for parents become so big so quickly?

Social media posts of elfs in ridiculous scenarios.

My DS know the elf isn't real after they found it in the cupboard underneath the stairs in June. But they still enjoy it.

ChristmasKrackers · 01/12/2021 07:08

Some people do things because they think their kids will love and enjoy it.

Not everyone is selfish or doing it just for the gram. Some people like to do things for others.

fluffythedragonslayer · 01/12/2021 07:08

My kids are 17, 14, 10 and we've had visiting elves since before the youngest was born! It wasn't a big thing when I started but I remember reading about the idea and loved it so bought two gorgeous fluffy elf toys and they arrived in a box with a letter etc. When my youngest was born we added another elf and the elves wrote a letter saying they'd brought their little sister with them. It was just a bit of fun, I didn't post on social media about it or anything.

There's lots of traditions that families have around Christmas and you just pick and choose your own right? My kids have never had a Christmas Eve box, they only get 4 presents each rather than the mountains I see people post on Insta, we do church Christmas Day etc. Never been on a Santa train or lunch with Santa. Never been to panto.

I don't think any kid "misses out" simply because parents don't do all the things you could do over the festive period. Mine have never been to Winter Wonderland. And they won't until they can pay for it themselves!! 😂 But we do Christmas our way and that includes elves, still, even though the kids are way too old for it now! It's part of our family traditions.

Swonderswoman · 01/12/2021 07:11

Baffled by how many elf defenses I see claiming to do it "for the kids happy faces". If thats generally why mums do it, why is it all over social media? I've got no grumbles with anything people chose to do privately in their own homes. The incessant social media sharing just reads as competitive parenting.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 01/12/2021 07:12

Yep, they're probably scarred for life - I do hope they don't go 'off the rails' as a result.

ChristmasKrackers · 01/12/2021 07:16

Well I generally do it for my kids and I haven’t been on social media for about 6 years…..so don’t know what you want me to say-not everyone is social media crazy, and it does make my kids smile.

Swonderswoman · 01/12/2021 07:22

You don't need to say anything. I'm not annoyed at your social media posts, clearly. It's probably still a nice, feel good thing for you to do simply because you don't have social media. Other people's OTT posts aren't being waved in your face. Unfortunately, my Instagram feed is bloody full of it this morning. I still like Instagram though, so I'm not going to avoid it for a month, just wish I could change the settings to hide specific posts

Shoobydooer · 01/12/2021 07:22

I've been bracing myself for it for a few years now, but DC7 has never so much as mentioned it. If they asked I'd probably reluctantly give it a go I suppose. But fingers crossed I'm getting away with it!

Gufo · 01/12/2021 07:26

Mine are at primary school and although they believe in santa, they know the elf is done by parents for fun. They don't feel deprived (I don't think) and believe that their advent calendar is filled by elves (we didn't ever tell them that!).

Dailywalk · 01/12/2021 07:36

I’d say it became a thing about 8 years ago. I’ve never done it. There’s enough to do and worry about. I may get flamed here but going off my Facebook feed I think people do it for the one upmanship to their friends rather than to entertain or amuse the kids.

Honeymint · 01/12/2021 07:37

The elf creeps me out so much, I’m glad it didn’t exist when I was a kid!

Thefuturestory · 01/12/2021 07:41

Just checked and my sister did a big elf fundraiser for charity in 2013. It had been around a few years by then. So it’s probably hit UK about 2010 ish.

No one is deprived! Everyone had their own traditions.

Badabingbadabum · 01/12/2021 07:54

When it became popular I thought, "I know that elf"! My granny had one that was a Christmas decoration that she kept up all year. It looked old when I was little! I thought it was a Scandinavian tradition.

Badabingbadabum · 01/12/2021 07:58

I don't think the elf would ever tip flour over the floor though. My dc are 6 and 4 and haven't mentioned it. Which is good as the answer would be no!

DingleyDel · 01/12/2021 07:59

Mine are 6 & 3 now and I don’t do it. They aren’t even aware of it. Advent calendar calendars are enough IMO.

bigbluebus · 01/12/2021 08:05

It definitely wasn't a thing when mine were small (youngest 25 now). I think a lot of people start it and realise they've made a rod for their own back! I've got one friend whose youngest is 10 and she still does it. She must spend months thinking up ideas and she posts it on Facebook every day. She's very good at it though and clearly enjoys doing it.

Fridafever · 01/12/2021 08:28

I just looked and it’s first mentioned on here in 2008. I have a 6 year old but don’t do it, I find it a bit creepy.

CoolShoeshine · 01/12/2021 08:51

Fortunately it passed us by, kids are older teens. I get a bit stressed in December with working full time plus family birthdays and everything else that goes on.
However I did buy a cheap elf doll from a market stall and place him somewhere when I put the Xmas decs up, the teens love rolling their eyes at “mum’s creepy doll”

DiamondBright · 01/12/2021 08:52

Definitely didn't exist when mine were small lots of new things seem to have become essential since Instagram and YouTube influencers became popular a lot of excessive consumerism unfortunately.

Have a look around your local B&M (or similar shops) they're full of younger mums (99% women) buying "decor bits" they're relatively cheap and so accessible and make people feel like they're involved in the latest trends and being a good parent by buying the latest in bauble colours or the cleaning product Mrs Hinch recommends. A few years ago you wouldn't have had sell outs on bottles of disinfectant with everyone clamouring to get the latest fragrance.

Sorry, that developed into a rant, as you were.

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