Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Christmas budget

124 replies

Beachbreak2411 · 30/11/2021 17:05

I have £500 saved and probably £150 spare from this months pay check. I’m a skint single mum and saving the above has been hard. Am I completely unreasonable spending the £500 on my daughter and splitting the rest in my parents, brother and my boyfriend?

OP posts:
TheFairPrincess · 30/11/2021 19:54

What are you thinking of getting her OP?

Cobiemakesmesmulder · 30/11/2021 19:55

Honestly, £650 is probably what I've spent on 2 kids, exDH, parents, 2 nephews, a niece and 4 siblings. I'm far from 'skint' but don't see the need to spend more. So I'd say yanbu. Seems a perfectly reasonable budget.

hamsterchump · 30/11/2021 20:02

I would try to get some things she really wants but I'd rather save a lot of that for activities (either Christmas ones or throughout the year if money is tight) that you can both enjoy. After all the toys all end up in the bin eventually and I think you're more likely to remember the stuff you did with your mum than the stuff she bought you.

MeltedButter · 30/11/2021 20:05

I think £500 is excessive. Spending so much on children just teaches them to be materialistic. Between my husband and I we spent £300 on both our boys for Xmas. I'm happy with what we got, I think they will be really happy with them.

SingItToWinIt · 30/11/2021 20:05

I can't imagine knowing your child so little that you literally couldn't imagine how you'd ever spend money on them to be honest

A hilarious, passive aggressive comment!

It's not passive aggressive 🙄 I mean it sincerely.

If you can afford to spend £50 - fine. If you choose to limit spend to £120 for your own beliefs about how much you' should' spend - fine. If you spend £1000 - fine.

The issue isn't the money. My post was due to the number of people expressing horror and (probably faux) puzzlement at what they could possibly spend £500 on.

I could easily think of £2k's worth of things I could buy for my dc this Xmas. I wouldn't do it for money and not spoiling them purposes...my choice. But if you gave me £2k cash and told me I had to spend it on one of the dc, I could do it in an hour. And it would all be stuff they'd like.

It may not be something you CAN or CHOOSE to do. But saying you've no idea how you could possibly spend it - bollocks. Either you're spectacularly dim or you don't know your dc very well if so.

Thunderbolted · 30/11/2021 20:16

I have to agree that £500 seems excessive especially if you're not well off. We're spending about £250 on each DC but have a combined income of around £500k. We don't want them to become materialistic.

TheFairPrincess · 30/11/2021 20:18

How does spending a bigger sum of money necessarily equate to making children materialistic? I could buy a large pile of very cheap presents for under £100, or I could spend £500 on a handful of items. Children don't see value the same way, they're not going to be totting up the value of their gifts, but they would obviously notice an enormous pile of gifts.

I read somewhere once a saying once that said "you don't spoil a child by giving, you spoil them by giving in." I think that's pretty true, though obviously there are limits, but again those limits are subjective. I think a pile of presents that fills the room is kind of sickening and just stressful, but £500 can be spent pretty quickly on a few choice items as well.

rrhuth · 30/11/2021 20:20

@SingItToWinIt

I can't imagine knowing your child so little that you literally couldn't imagine how you'd ever spend money on them to be honest

A hilarious, passive aggressive comment!

It's not passive aggressive 🙄 I mean it sincerely.

If you can afford to spend £50 - fine. If you choose to limit spend to £120 for your own beliefs about how much you' should' spend - fine. If you spend £1000 - fine.

The issue isn't the money. My post was due to the number of people expressing horror and (probably faux) puzzlement at what they could possibly spend £500 on.

I could easily think of £2k's worth of things I could buy for my dc this Xmas. I wouldn't do it for money and not spoiling them purposes...my choice. But if you gave me £2k cash and told me I had to spend it on one of the dc, I could do it in an hour. And it would all be stuff they'd like.

It may not be something you CAN or CHOOSE to do. But saying you've no idea how you could possibly spend it - bollocks. Either you're spectacularly dim or you don't know your dc very well if so.

I think this post is unnecessarily unpleasant.

People are not 'dim' and I am sure they know their children just as well as you do.

crisplist · 30/11/2021 20:21

When people say they can't imagine spending so much on a young child, they mean children don't need so many toys in one go/ it could spoil the kids, or money is an issue.

It doesn't mean they don't know how to spend the money on their children

peboh · 30/11/2021 20:21

@SingItToWinIt

I can't imagine knowing your child so little that you literally couldn't imagine how you'd ever spend money on them to be honest

A hilarious, passive aggressive comment!

It's not passive aggressive 🙄 I mean it sincerely.

If you can afford to spend £50 - fine. If you choose to limit spend to £120 for your own beliefs about how much you' should' spend - fine. If you spend £1000 - fine.

The issue isn't the money. My post was due to the number of people expressing horror and (probably faux) puzzlement at what they could possibly spend £500 on.

I could easily think of £2k's worth of things I could buy for my dc this Xmas. I wouldn't do it for money and not spoiling them purposes...my choice. But if you gave me £2k cash and told me I had to spend it on one of the dc, I could do it in an hour. And it would all be stuff they'd like.

It may not be something you CAN or CHOOSE to do. But saying you've no idea how you could possibly spend it - bollocks. Either you're spectacularly dim or you don't know your dc very well if so.

I have to agree with you. There are enough things I could buy my daughter that would pile up into the hundreds and thousands easily. I don't, as it just isn't necessary, but it's not for lack of ideas.
Original poster
Beachbreak2411 · 30/11/2021 20:22

She wants a kindle and a garmin. And some art supplies, a ring and clothes. Supprisng how fast the money disappears!

OP posts:
Comedycook · 30/11/2021 20:24

It's not necessarily just the amount but the op has come on here describing herself as skint, yet has more than many others to spend on gifts for her child...£500 as a budget for one child is not my definition of skint. I've seen posts on here from people who are genuinely struggling. I'm really not knee deep in sympathy here.

Op...spend £450 on your DD and get yourself a haircut fgs.

MiracleBaby2022 · 30/11/2021 20:32

Even the wealthiest people I know don't spend more than £250 on their children. But I'd say that I personally would think maybe one year would be different from another if that year she needed, say a new bicycle or something big like that. Otherwise I wouldn't normally spend more than around £100-150 max. I think that's ample!

CoffeeRunner · 30/11/2021 20:33

My DD is 10 & I've spent £350 without even trying. She already has a switch so 2 games for that have cost £100 alone.

I don't understand these "oh we're very wealthy but wouldn't dream of spending more than £3.65 per child" posts either.

TheFairPrincess · 30/11/2021 20:40

I don't know that many people closely enough to know their Christmas present buying arrangements but the other person my age who also has DC my age (in our twenties so don't have many friends who have kids yet) is buying very little but again they have 2 sets of well off grandparents who want to buy significant presents for the DC.

Some people do not have lots of relatives buying. And it doesn't really matter either way really, some "wealthy" people may buy hardly anything for Christmas, some spend thousands. Some poorer folk like me save hard to splurge at Christmas, and some just don't have the funds and they either get on with it or actively choose not to buy much anyway because they just, don't stress about not buying much.

It really is so subjective, people shouldn't buy more to keep up with the Joneses, but also, people shouldn't spend less than they want to either due to competitive middle class under buying which is definitely a thing too let's be real.

MiracleBaby2022 · 30/11/2021 20:45

I think that's a very fair point some people have made here, that it does change things a bit if the child doesn't have any, or many, other relatives buying anything. A tree with nothing under it would look a bit sad... I still wouldn't go over £100-150 though.

DSGR · 30/11/2021 20:48

I’d spend £300 on dd and £200 on yourself (or out towards a holiday with dd). And yes £150 for other adults is totally fine

HermioneWeasley · 30/11/2021 20:51

I am not struggling financially and am spending about £150 in total (all gifts, stockings etc) per child. DH same or maybe a bit less when I add it up.

It’s absolutely fine

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/11/2021 21:02

There are enough things I could buy my daughter that would pile up into the hundreds and thousands easily. I don't, as it just isn't necessary, but it's not for lack of ideas my children are younger so appreciate the cost difference but even considering that what does a child need or want at 10 that could amount to £1000- unless you have brought them up to already know designer names and have to have a brand new iPhone

Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 30/11/2021 21:15

I say skint as I work bloody hard with a disability that should take me out of work but I don’t want to be off. I’ve had the standing order set up since her birth so I don’t even miss it. I don’t drive, haven’t had my hair cut in about 8!years. I use all my spare money for my daughter;

Perhaps we have different definitions of skint as for me it's not to do with how hard you work, or even about how you chose to spend money which is left over after essentials (e.g. save for DD or haircut) but about not having any money left after essentials, or indeed before. Were your DD old enough to reflect on it properly, I'd think she'd be horrified that you spent so much on her at Xmas and didn't get your haircut (assuming, as you've mentioned it here, that you'd like it cut occasionally). Personally I would not get a garmin and a kindle though I might ask others to contribute money towards one or the other so she can save up. There is not really a right or wrong with presents though other, perhaps, than getting yourself into unmanageable debt or putting the family under longer-term financial pressure in order to be able to buy large amounts of treat presents.

I think you've had some slightly cross replies but I think that is to do with you describing yourself as skint when you actually meant 'hard working and don't have masses left over at the end of the month' rather than as a response to your actual query.

Ragwort · 30/11/2021 21:16

It just seems a bit of a martyrise attitude that you will spend £500 on gifts for your DD but won't spend money on getting your hair cut. And do you have sufficient savings to cope with an emergency such as a boiler breakdown or whatever?

Goldbar · 30/11/2021 21:21

In your position, I would save £100 for a fun day out next year, spend £200 on my DC and spend £200 on myself. £150 for the other gifts is fine. I can't imagine your DD will have many friends who are having more than £200 spent on them and you deserve some treats too given how hard you've worked this year.

Trixiefirecracker · 30/11/2021 21:22

Why not spend it on doing something nice together or put it towards a weekend away instead? Seems excessive to spend it all on ‘stuff’ when you could make some lovely memories instead.

pinkksugarmouse · 30/11/2021 21:47

Each to their own but it sounds like far too much to me.

Original poster
Beachbreak2411 · 30/11/2021 21:53

I have about £400 saved for things breaking.. oven etc. I live in a council house so luckily boiler problems etc are theirs.. I couldn’t spend money on myself. I haven’t brought myself new clothes in 5ish years and only buy shoes when I literally walk holes in them. I feel too guilty spending money on myself!

OP posts: