Hosting and mealtimes over Christmas

[vindaloopy]

Just wondering how people deal with food if they have guests for an extended period over Christmas. We will have ILs here for 5 days and they are more formal than us. Previous years we have sat and eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day, laid the table, proper meals every time not just here's some left over cheese and bread etc. DH and I are keen to make it all more relaxed this year but IL are set in their ways. What do you do with your families?

Five days! You are a hero. But that aside, just tell them at the start of the visit, we are going to have a more relaxed time this year so we won't be sitting down together for breakfast (or lunch) what will happen is xyz.

If I had people staying I wouldn't set up a formal breakfast table tjo of course everyone would sit down. But probably not all at once

I always feel I have to do this as well but I must admit I wouldn't be having guests for 5 days! In your shoes I'd probably do a sit down dinner each night but just put stuff out for breakfast/lunch. Do you have plans to go out on any of those days? What will you do for that long?

I know, 5 days is too long, its because they hang around for DDs birthday afterwards. We won't do much, but there will be lots of walks (which again, usually we all do together...). I think the only solution is more prosecco isn't it...?!

Definitely agree we need to set out our stall. Doing a proper dinner all together every day is fine, I'm happy with that. It's just the laid table for breakfast and obligatory family lunch then coffee at 4pm scenario I'm trying to avoid. Poor dishwasher must think it's being punished, it's on constantly!

That sounds a bit much.

If it was us, we'd probably go out for brunch one day and put out a leftover buffet from late afternoon for people to nibble on as and when they're hungry.

Could a walk be over lunchtime and involve some flasks of soup while you're out? We quite like that on a cold sunny day.

I'd definitely have one 'continental' breakfast that's pastries, fruit, yoghurt etc. so easy to put out.

Make ahead meals in the freezer to make dinner as easy as possible.

I think I would do different things for breakfast each day. So one day pastries, next day cereals, next day toast. But I would move the toaster to the table and put out plates, cutlery and butter, jam, marmite etc and encourage people to help themselves.

Thing is what ever you do is still going to be hard work for you unless they help out. I suggest drinking your way through it 😁

Eat out, they pay.

Take turns with dh making meals. Tea /coffee /cakes ils should be serving up.

The kids will be home from uni and we have a couple of inlaws over for 3 nights (4 days), but don't do the big formal thing... everyone helps themselves to breakfast when they get up, I'm up at 7, inlaws 8.30, dh 9ish, dd19 9.30/10 dd21 10.30ish - I am not waiting 3 and a half hours for my breakfast!

lunch is a load of nibbles and some pizza or chicken and dips put on the table for people to help themselves, then I cook dinner and we sit down together for that.

Except Xmas day where we have cinnamon rolls for breakfast... makes the house smell festive. Then roast turkey formal lunch and buffet stuff/mince pies for tea.

Yep, yep, yep, totally agree with you all. DH does at least half of it, great idea to freeze some meals, picnic lunch idea also good and love 'eat out they pay'! They are nice people, when we visit them they do all this for us, I just prefer a more relaxed ambience (aka I'm all for lazy hosting).

I’d compromise with a set-out breakfast and dinner and a more casual lunch/coffee.

Whenever I have guests breakfast is as and when people get up (cereal, toast unless someone wants to cook). We map out plans for the next day and say when we are likely to get up so we are ready. If there are no set plans, then people can eat breakfast (or not) as and when. Lunch can be simple like sandwiches or soup. Then dinner more formal.
Eating three sit down meals - I'd be the size of a house!

@vindaloopy

Yep, yep, yep, totally agree with you all. DH does at least half of it, great idea to freeze some meals, picnic lunch idea also good and love 'eat out they pay'! They are nice people, when we visit them they do all this for us, I just prefer a more relaxed ambience (aka I'm all for lazy hosting).

Don't let them do it all for you when you visit, book lunches out and pay. Turn them into lazy hosts by doing more when you visit them

They maybe won't feel comfortable helping themselves? My folks will quite happily put on the kettle, ask if something is OK to eat but they might not! The first time you put the kettle on, grab one and ask them to help so they know where stuff is. Next time, grab the other one and repeat. Next time, they do it! Cuts down the hoating if you can delegate tea and coffee and drinks! And might be a gentle way to ease them into more casual hosting.

Breakfast: fruit/cereal/toast. I would get it out and everyone helps themselves whenever they want.
Lunch: Bread/cheese/ham/salad, etc plus leftovers. Sit together but everyone helps themselves and no cooking!
Dinner: The main meal of the day.

I do a meal plan with a different dinner and brunch every day - brunch is served around 11 am, dinner around 7 pm - if people want to eat in between or at other times, there is a wealth of cheese, paté and other nibbles in the fridge and in the cupboards, to which they are welcome to help themselves.

Brunches include a full Irish, bubble 'n squeak, smoked salmon and cream cheese on soda bread, eggs benedict, pain au chocolat and bacon sarnies (all on different days, not all on the same day!). It works for us!

Choose how you want to play it this year. Any complaints from them, next October say "since you didn't seem to enjoy last Christmas very much, we'll just have Christmas on our own."

Feel your pain.

I now do cereal toast or fruit for breakfast and that is it. Fryups for more than 4 people are just hellish

I am a big fan of a "frozen party food lunch"

Just bang a load in the oven and if people are still hungry you can add more they only take 10-12 minutes so you can kind of graze / have a long lunch and almost no washing up bar plates.

We also do toasted sandwiches with picky bits at lunch. Again low fuss and not too much washing or mess.

We've just had 4 extra people staying with us for Thanksgiving - probably will have the same for christmas.

Breakfast, I set up the coffee machine and leave out tea by the kettle, put out the toaster, fruit, butter etc plus bagels bread eggs etc. and tell everyone to help themselves when they get up.

Lunch - is leftovers/sandwiches/whatever we normally do. People tend to wander in and have it when they like. We don't sit down at the table for this but sit around the kitchen island.

Dinner, I make something/organise proper leftovers with fresh potatoes etc and we sit down again at the table. IF they had been here for 5 days we'd have had a takeout one night.

no way could I be responsible for 3 sit-down formal meals for 5 days.

When I host (3 days max - 5 qualifies you for sainthood), I set out breakfast options - cereals, bread for toast, condiments, and set the table and let everyone help themselves.

Similar for lunch - either soup or sandwiches (sometimes a platter, sometimes fix-your-own)

And dinner is a shared meal.

Typically I find people are a bit formal to begin with but chill as time goes on. And often our schedule can be chaotic with dc going places.

I firmly believe that suiting myself in these things makes me a better host in the long run.

@justasking111

Eat out, they pay.

I was going to suggest the same.