DD and the Christmas list

[Icantremembermyusername]

DD is 10. I think she's worked out the truth about Santa, but she's not ready to let go yet. That's fine :-) She always opens her stocking with me - single parent - on Christmas morning. Daddy doesn't do a stocking (Santa only comes once, we agreed that years ago, no issues) but this year she is reluctant to write a list. I think she's worried because she has realised as a single mum I don't have money to burn, ( niche, but in her head I pay Santa and he delivers ) but I still want to know what she wants!
So I need her to write a list so I can let family and friends know what to purchase, if appropriate. My parents and aunt are waiting on the list so they can fill any gaps!
I know her dad has a fab gift which she will love, and I have something she has wanted for the last 6 months and still wants.
How do you ask a 10 year old to write a REALISTIC list?

Could you go with the ‘something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read’ approach? Basically asking for categories of things to get a bit of focus?

If it’s a Santa issue, just do a stocking as you usually would and Aunty X and Grandad need to know what you’d like - any ideas? Presume she knows not all presents are from Santa so not sure where the angst is?

She and her dad both suffer from buyers regret. I ask, I get and am happy :-) She asks, gets and then isn't happy because others receive 'better' I guess I need to limit expectations

I agree, it doesn’t need to be a list ‘for Santa’, just say family are asking for ideas on what she’d like, can she have a quick think and write down a little list. Give some ideas to relatives, and buy the rest from you.

My dd is autistic and really struggles with a list. It's so definitive and final and she's terrified of "choosing wrong". I orchestrate many conversations in the run up, about what friends are asking for, what she'd donate to the toy appeal of money weren't an object, Arthur Christmas and the popularity of bikes as a choice and isn't it a good one? , what I WANT , what I wanted and got/ missed out on as a child etc. I note what she talks animatedly about, what she repeats, what she most approves of her mates wanting etc. I don't know if that helps but my dds ways seem to be in line with buyers remorse, and my method works for me.

If she doesn't usually like what she asks for, maybe she would like a surprise better? Unless there's something she definitely knows she really wants the whole 'grandad saw this and thought of you' might actually be nicer.

Just ask her what she wants from grandparents and Aunty, that’s what I did. My 9yo searched for things for an 11yo girl, she found 9 & 10yo stuff too young. We went through what she liked and she decided on 1 thing. I did the same with my other 2.

FYI my 9yo chose some cool wireless headphones.

Could you put her down with an Argos catalogue and a felt tip pen? Back in the day my list was circling toys I wanted in red pen!

When my children wrote to Santa/ made a list out I told them to ask for what they wanted ,but I always said I don't promise to get everything you ask for , so put what you would most like at the top of the list.

i second @fedupfelicia
also smythstoys

Not everything has to come from Santa. I always told my kids that Santa brought one thing, and the family gave them the rest. I didn't like the idea that people would purchase gits for them, but that Santa would get the credit ! Just tell her that the family want to give her some gifts, and what would she like ?

I update my Amazon wish list from June onwards with anything DD mentions. You don't have to buy it from there as I know it's not universally popular, but it's a good place to store ideas for when people ask

OP my 6 year old believes and even she is worried her Christmas list was too long and she wanted to "scrub some off".

I told her that it's fine, Santa doesn't necessarily bring everything on your list but he will always bring something. :)