Would you give your dsis money as a Christmas present?

[Kikkomam]

As my dsis (48) has asked me for money this year. I normally spend about 30 on her but feel a bit uncomfortable about putting money in a card. It seems like something a parent would do, not a sister! I mean, she's asked, so it's what I'll do, but would it make anyone else feel a bit odd?

I wouldn't unless she is saving towards a specific item she has told you about. Otherwise at that age you just buy what you like through the year. If you also asked for money from her then I don't see the point in both exchanging £30 for the sake of it.

I didn't ask for money, I always get her somegtthing but she never gets me anything which I don't really mind as she's permanently skint but does buy little tiny gifts for all three dds. Tbh they probably cost 30 in total so it seems like I'm paying for those! I always buy her dd a nice present - already bought her a Brandy Melville jumper - but just had a text asking for money for her as well

I did ask if she was saving up for something and she just said life!

Sounds like she is struggling financially.... the life comment!

Based on the info you've provided, sounds like she struggles a bit financially so I'd be giving the money plus a little gift. Obviously depends on what you can afford and probably influenced by the fact my own sister is much younger than me so I do tend to mother her despite our actual mother being very much present and capable 😂

Just give up the gifts. When my sister and I started exchanging the same amount of money it just seemed really pointless.

Yes I'm sure she is. I leant her some money at the beginning of the year and never got it back.

She's a few years younger than me. I don't want to mother her. I have my own children to mother.

Tell her you're not doing gifts for siblings this year and she needn't buy anything for DC's. That way you don't have to gift money and she won't need the money.

I wouldn't give anyone money as a gift. It's just not the point of gifting.

@girlmom21

Tell her you're not doing gifts for siblings this year and she needn't buy anything for DC's. That way you don't have to gift money and she won't need the money.

I wouldn't give anyone money as a gift. It's just not the point of gifting.

I did this a few years ago. It caused ww3 in my family. It's just not worth it.

It sound like she’s struggling financially. I don’t see the difference really if you would spend that amount on her anyway and if someone I love is struggling and me doing something like this helps, why not.

@Kikkomam how can it cause ww3 when she never buys for you?

[quote girlmom21]@Kikkomam how can it cause ww3 when she never buys for you? [/quote]
I said I wasn't buying for any adults (was really struggling)

My parents went nuts and my dbrother rang me to say I'd ruined their Christmas

@Kikkomam oh that's batshit.

Do all your family get together, so would they all know if you didn't buy for her?

I guess the alternative, if you want to get her a gift and can afford it, is to buy a purse or something as her present then put some cash in there so it's done discretely and she still has a gift?

Yeah my family is batshit.

They see me as the financially successful one so feel it's my job to provide presents even though they never buy for me!

@Kikkomam

Yeah my family is batshit.

They see me as the financially successful one so feel it's my job to provide presents even though they never buy for me!

Stop this now, you are being a complete mug.

Yes I know which is why I tried to stop it. But its just not worth the hassle

Just give her the money, it’s not mothering her you are giving her a monetary gift. DH family do the same thing, he loves it. You don’t have to worry about what to buy then

Let them hassle you. It's just all ridiculous now. My parents went nuts and my dbrother rang me to say I'd ruined their Christmas

WTF? Your DB needs to take a good hard look at himself if he thinks not receiving any presents from a sibling 'ruins Christmas'.

Your family sounds similar to mine, I buy people gifts but rarely get anything myself, and they rarely buy for my DC’s (if they do it’s the cheapest gift for a couple £).

I think you either have to give her the £30, or tell her your not doing gifts this year and she doesn’t have to buy for your dc either. She will be saving £30 by not buying for the dc.

I don't see an issue. You're both giving what you can afford. She buys small presents for your daughters, you give her something. It's all in the spirit of Christmas isn't it?

A few years ago when I was struggling financially, my sister gave me a Tesco voucher. It was a brilliant present for me, I could use some for shopping and managed to find a top for myself in the sales too.
Maybe consider a supermarket voucher if you're baulking at the idea of dirty cash.

Yes, I am bulking at the idea of dirty cash. I'm not her mum. I think giving cash is joyless.

I'll do it though.

Baulking!

I see your point. However, from the perspective of someone who has struggled to pay rent and bills, I would have been overjoyed to receive money which could ease the pressure rather than a nice wrapped scarf.

Obviously, I don't know your sister's situation. If she's going to blow it on cocaine or something that's a different matter
A voucher might be a good compromise. You can give vouchers that will be useful rather than frivolous such as phone credit, or a food/supermarket voucher.

That's what happens when you have younger siblings a lot of the time I'm afraid. ( unless your extremely lucky).
If you can afford it give it to her, if it makes her life easier it will make you happy xxxx