Please stop with the teacher and TA gifts!

[pinkksugarmouse]

Just that really. As someone who has worked in schools and knows many people who do presents are such an unnecessary pain. It’s just stuff bought for the sheer heck of buying and needs to stop. Protecting the environment is very high on the list of pupils concerns. Inundating people with unwanted things in their name isn’t respectful.
Please no more mugs, teddies, chocolates, bizarre decorations…how many teachers, TA’s, nursery staff do you think really want it?
You are just gifting them a trip to the charity shop and/or the need for more bin bags.

We often sent a pack of candy canes to be given out among the class on the first day back as DS birthday is on new year and he loves candy canes and chose to do that instead of cake.

I never give the teachers a Xmas gift though, honestly before Mumsnet it never even crossed my mind as a thing to do.

I always use to give an end of year gift, usually small jewellery (so it didn't take up room like a mug) and was actually praised by the assistant who loved the earring and said no one ever thought to get her anything.

I refuse to go in on class gifts though as they are always stupid and dodgy (collecting £5 from each parent so £150 then just proving a fingerprint tree, they cost next to nothing and a basic frame poster-frame is under £10... someone is clearly pocketing cash) and the teacher is not going to want a poster-sized framed print of kids fingerprints on her living room wall ffs yet some had that genius idea every fucking year .

I had an A-Level student buy me a rose once. Absolutely loved it, nearly cried finding it on my desk. She was a very bright girl who'd had a hard time and thinking that she wanted to thank me was the best feeling ever. It's planted in my garden now and I often wonder what she's up tp.

@DeadoftheMoon

You don't have to tip the teacher. Those who do are just hoping to buy favour for their child.

We give gifts to teachers and TAs. I'm really not trying to "buy favour" for my DCs! If that were the case, why would I give gifts at the end of the year when the DCs will have a different teacher the next year? I do it to say thank you for their hard work.

I have got a Sloth bento for DD's teacher. It was on offer so only a few pounds, a sloth is her favourite animal and I figured a lunch box is useful. DD will make her a card too.

My DS has had the same teacher for year 1 and year 2, and she’s wonderful. He loves her, and is so much happier and doing so much better than he did in reception. He has some SEN and she has been so supportive with him, and so responsive to our concerns. We really want to give her a mark of our gratitude and appreciation. We gave her a John Lewis voucher at the end of last summer and will do the same this summer, and will give chocolates at Xmas. The TA is also great and we give her the same thing - I figured with JL vouchers they can spend them in Waitrose if they want to, or buy themselves something nice. I know they really appreciated it. The other class parents won’t even know what we gave so I don’t feel like I’m pressuring anyone to compete.

I’m certainly not hoping to buy favour for my son, though I’m very happy to reward excellent teaching.

YABU OP.

As a teacher, I love seeing the kids proud faces when they give me a gift, ESP homemade ones.

As a parent I give only consumable gifts or chip in for a voucher.

Of course, there is a lot of tat out there and I disagree with buying for buying sake but the kids are delighted to offer you something that they have chosen for you. And who are we to deny them? Its not about spending money.

I often share everything with my family, neighbours and friends so nothing is wasted. Mugs go in the school cupboard.

And I have never heard of buying favour. That is a crock of sh..

I know that teachers sometimes buy resources out of their own money and that money is short in schools. How to teachers/TA feel about the gift being something for the classroom?

YABU!!

Any present from a child and parent is always appreciated. It’s often a pleasure to show a gesture of thanks to the teachers.

Stop speaking for all teachers!

The mugs go in the staff room where they are always needed!

** erinaceus

I know that teachers sometimes buy resources out of their own money and that money is short in schools. How to teachers/TA feel about the gift being something for the classroom?**

I wouldn’t be keen but others might. Stationery for the teacher would be a nice idea though.

I’m a secondary teacher and I’d love a gift!

@erinaceus

I know that teachers sometimes buy resources out of their own money and that money is short in schools. How to teachers/TA feel about the gift being something for the classroom?

We love that!!! One of my favourite gift was a bouquet of novelty pens which the kids loved picking for me to mark their work with.

I teach and have received a fair few gifts over the years. I always appreciate the thought and have enjoyed the vast majority if my gifts. I never expect a gift and I am genuinely grateful, but would be upset if anyone felt pressured to buy something or contribute.

I have never skipped any gift, nor taken them to a charity shop.

Mugs etc may get used either at home or at school, depending on style. Chocolate and alcohol gets consumed at home generally, though sometimes I ]t gets eaten in the staffroom before it makes it home! I definitely didn't recycle my summer gifts - vouchers for local independent shops and eateries. They were used and very much appreciated!

You sound a hoot op!

I bloody love all the gifts I receive!

Our school has asked parents to donate by parent pay to a fund...I thought the fund was going to something collective. Then I received a £10 spend anywhere type voucher. I don't want a £10 voucher, I want a pine cone badly decorated with glitter to put on my tree, or a chocolate coin that's half melted from a child carrying it to school or a decorated stone given to me by a child. I also love the boxes of chocolates with a heartfelt thanks from parents - they really are appreciated. I've never received a Teddy, but there is only so many "Best TA Ever" key rings I can use.
I would honestly prefer a couple of glue sticks or a box of tissues for the class.
So please don't stop the chocolates- they keep me going through the long winter months in the mud kitchen.

If you can't afford it though DON'T give anything. It really isn't obligatory.

@HelloBunny

I think it’s madness... When did it start? My mum would barely have entered my school & spoken to a teacher, never mind give them a gift.

Gifts were often given to teachers when I was at primary school, albeit not by quite the same number and not big class collections.

I went to a very standard three tier school system - definitely not a push school, or a posh area! - in the 70s.

So I've known if it happening for at least 40+ years. 🤷‍♀️

@erinaceus

I know that teachers sometimes buy resources out of their own money and that money is short in schools. How to teachers/TA feel about the gift being something for the classroom?

Something that can be used personally like a nice pen or notebook would be a useful gift. Things that are used by the children would be well received and much appreciated, but it would be a donation to the class, not something that you can pass off as a gift to the teacher.

@lomoloko

I think it's disgraceful to create this pressure on low income families. I come from a family of teachers and they were so conscious of this issue - it surprises me the way on MN there are so many teachers who demand, or at least strongly encourage this kind of gift giving. (I know it's not all teachers on MN -- see upthread!)

Can you name one genuine MN teacher who demands a Christmas gift from pupils?

I've never seen one yet despite being on MN for the best part of 18 years.

Most simply say they appreciate gifts but don't expect them.

@DriftingBlue

I really love what our school does. The parents association sends out a survey to the staff and asks about their favorite snacks, school day drinks, lunch spots, and stores. So people can gift something as small as a candy bar and know it is something the teacher will enjoy some day when they need a treat or they can do even small vouchers for places they know staff frequent because even a discount is helpful someplace you would be going anyway.

I'd hate that personally. Infact I was asked this very thing last summer by a parent rep, along with some other staff.

We sent out a collective message from school to state that whilst we really appreciated their thoughts we really couldn't answer, as it would make it appear as if we expected gifts which we don't.

Thankyou for speaking up! I am an F/T carer for my son with ASD with medical issues and autism, this is something I worry about annually. I live off of 60 quid carers allowance per week because my son has panic attacks at the thought of joining their very sport-orientated after school club. Unless all of a sudden he is ok with this and it is likely he won't assault an after school club member (unlikely!) I'm not in any position to buy luxury Christmas gifts! They get a salary...which is more than I have EVER had!

@BungleandGeorge

NHS employees aren’t allowed to accept gifts from patients worth more than a few pounds. Are teachers allowed to accept gifts with a large monetary value? I’m not sure that would be ethical?

Larger gifts, such as vouchers, are normally given via a class collection - it's then deemed to be divided by 30 children (or whatever is in the class) so often doesn't count. Though it depends on what the LEA/managing trust decide.

Anyone that doesn't want wine or chocolate when bought kindly for them is a bit weird! Surely it's nice to feel appreciated? Even if they didn't like the gift they can always regift or give to food bank.

There's a salary. Its a job. I am job-LESS because of my (must say, amazingly intelligent, ASD child) 60 quid carers is nothing compared to what his TA gets which of course I appreciate. But really?? I am expected to buy her a Christmas present, even though she earns 10 times more than I do? Really?? It's a job. I would love a job that would fit around my son...I wouldn't even care if I wasn't being paid but if I was.. I would relish it!