Feeling rubbish about my Christmas present budget...

[McNuggetsAndMcFlurries]

I have almost finished my Christmas shopping but I don't feel very good about it... I have an extra 8 people to buy for (boyfriends family who I know will get me and/or our baby something or who are children themselves) plus our baby (who doesn't really need much this year but I've got a personalised stocking, Christmas eve box, snow globe and bauble for traditions going forward).
I have spent just under £70 on his family but knowing how much they get other people for Christmas I feel like it's just not enough and that I will feel guilty when we swap presents 🥺 I have done my best to get them all something that I think they will like but I just can't afford to go crazy with their presents. How do I not feel guilty about this? Or do I need to find a way to buy more? 🙈

If it’s his family, why are you the one buying presents and feeling guilty about it? What’s he doing for them?

Doesn't your boyfriend get for his family... Can he just not tag your name on?

Don't feel guilty at all! You've gone out of your way to buy things that you think they'll appreciate. That's the most important thing, the thought not how much you've spent.

Do not buy more! It sounds as though you have tried to buy thoughtful and considerate gifts for everyone, which is very kind of you. Anyone worth considering a friend or family would not want you to spend more than you could afford on them.

Hello,

I think it really sucks that Christmas makes people think like this. If people are giving with an expectation to receive something of equal money value then that is their problem.

So many people go indebt at Christmas so give yourself a pat on the back for actually budgeting and sticking to it.

Is your boyfriend contributing to the gifts budget?

You could pad it out by making home made ginger bread men and covering them with cellophane and pretty Christmas ribbon. Very cheap to do and a nice thoughtful touch. But only if you want to.

Present buying shouldn't be a competition. If you have taken the time to think about what people would like, then that's more than a lot of people do. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

If they're thoughtful gifts they'll be fine. I wouldn't worry.

On a side note why are you buying separate gifts? I've never bought dhs family separate gifts, well I don't buy any now but when we were dating dh bought them and put my name on them.

Dont be stressing yourself. They will appreciate the gesture. Anyone who complains is a tosser quite frankly. I love shopping for gifts as i make a point of getting something for that person but i never expect anything in return.
Id explain how you feel to your bf if hes anyway decent he will understand .

As others have said I'd leave it to your boyfriend to sort his family out

Me and DP have always sorted our own families out and written each other's names on the tags, since we got together. You don't need to do separate presents. That should take a lot of the stress away!

If you and your partner are at the stage of having a baby together you're also presumably at the stage of getting one joint present for each of his family members? Or has it somehow become your job to buy said joint presents, which isn't fair at all? Obviously I don't know the family involved, but has anyone ever broached something like a £10 spending limit amongst adults? It might come as a bit of relief to everyone involved TBH. Both DH's and my families work like that and it really takes the pressure off, especially with DCs involved.

Aren't you doing joint presents with boyfriend.

Why does your tbf not contribute financially or with the mental load of this. Surely that would take the edge off (and be basic good manners to boot)

Separately I think it's sad when it comes to this. Nobody 'needs' a gift, children from what sounds like a fairly well off family willalways get plenty, a baby doesn't have a clue. Traditions don't need to be a paid for object.

If it is one household it may be easier just to get 1 family gift, a hamper or some wine and nice treats etc, and a token gift for kids if required. I really can't imagine they will be noticing or judging (or caring, in the nicest possible way) what someones partner gets them so I really wouldn't stress OP, and certainly don't strain yourself financially. You don't exist to impress them.

I am sure they will just appreciate that you have got them all something that they like. No need to feel guilty at all

Try and take a little step back and think - what kind of family member would judge someone badly for a small thoughtful gift? What kind of family member would expect you to spend more money on them rather than have enough to feed & clothe your baby?

My DHs family get nothing from me at all - he buys them something small like a book, and we get something small like a book or a candle.

Christmas gifting can turn into an arms race where every year each side thinks they should spend more out of guilt, and all of you end up exhausted and skint. That's no good for a new mum with a new family, you need to put your own needs first right now.

I agree with other posters - joint from you both

That said no one should be mean about a gift that was purchased and given with love & care

Christmas 2019 my brother gave me a £100 voucher - generous and I used it the following year

The same year in my works secret Santa (budget up to £5) I received a hand painted white box frame with a lovely festive picture background inside and a inner picture bit where you can put a photo and the giver had written a festive message to me and my family - it was beautifully dive and thoughtful -it was probably my favourite gift that year

My favourite gifts are always something edible like the gingerbread men a pp suggested. Or some other homemade biscuits or sweets. Yum!
And so much better for the environment than extra added tat.

Just ask your boyfriend to put your name on as a plus 1 for whatever he buys his family.

Unless he is buying separately for your family too? Surely not?

Especially since many people don't have the time to make home-made anymore..so much better tasting than store bought.🍪🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🍪🍪🍬🍬🍬