Christmas is a disappointment

Cakeandcardio · 2021-11-21T19:50:54+00:00

Does anyone else feel that Christmas is underwhelming? I have a DC aged 1 and feel Christmas is lonely for him. We will have family breakfast at PILs which will be lovely but no one round for dinner as they want to be alone. It's just so different from the Christmas I experienced growing up where I have memories of running wild with all of my cousins and having a great time. The dinner was done and dusted by 8 and everyone went home but it just felt so family orientated. Instead I will be cooking for us 3 (I realise I am lucky btw!) But I just think I always imagined my child having similar Christmas dinners to what I had. It seems like Christmas dinner will just be the same as any other dinner and I'm sad about it for my baby.

RaininSummer · 21/11/2021 20:04

He won't care at 1. I had 2 children and lovely Christmases but never any other children there and the same in my child hood. Might there be cousins one day maybe?

reallyworriedjobhunter · 21/11/2021 20:08

Do you have friends or family or neighbours to invite round after lunch if you want a busier Christmas?

When I had my first there was just one child in my family. Ten years later and there are loads.

toolazytothinkofausername · 21/11/2021 20:09

WTAF?!? You remember running wild with all of my cousins and having a great time at the age of 1 years old?!?

At 1 years old he will not be lonely, he will have his parents with him.

This thread is utterly ridiculous.

Santaischeckinglists · 21/11/2021 20:11

Get dressed up for lunch. Either a Xmas jumper or a whole outfit. One year ds wore his Olaf costume. Dh could be The Grinch?

Original poster

Cakeandcardio · 21/11/2021 20:12

Sorry - there's 5 cousins (all there will be) but they are all older.
Of course I don't remember running wild when I was 1 (thought that would be obvious ) I meant I remember great Christmas days in my childhood.

OP posts:

ldontWanna · 21/11/2021 20:13

You just described everything single Christmas we've had with DD(just the 3 of us ,always)10 years and counting. Didn't realise I'm supposed to be all sad and depressed about it. Probably because Christmas is what you make it and we make it chill,relaxed ,fun and silly and that's more than good enough for us and her.

You have the choice of sadness and longing over what you're missing (because he has no idea) or actually enjoying what you have. Up to you.

ShowOfHands · 21/11/2021 20:15

I was the first to have a grandchild in either family. 14yrs later, there are 8 cousins and family Christmases are really special. Any chance things will change?

When I just had DD, we spent Christmases with grandparents, aunts and uncles so it was busy and loud but just without the gaggle of children. We still played games and had a lot of fun.

MN might not be too sympathetic as the general consensus is that a quiet time without seeing extended family is best but I get it. I love the joy of family being together and the children having a ball.

Jacaranda75 · 21/11/2021 20:16

@Cakeandcardio I know the feeling. We live 10 mins up the road from PIL but probably won’t see them as they have no interest in spending time with us. When I was a child, Christmases were wonderful! I have so many happy memories and feel so sad for my DC that they will not have those memories.

Welcometothejingles · 21/11/2021 20:24

Is there a reason why you can't invite your family or friends who might be alone on Christmas day? Any celebration is what you make it and I don't live near family so used to invite my elderly neighbour for lunch. She's now passed away but I still operate an open house policy over the holidays. Maybe you can do this, invite a friend or neighbour round for coffee and a mince pie. It will slowly build up over time and you will have a network of people round you to fulfill your social connection needs.

Figgygal · 21/11/2021 20:29

He’s 1!!!!!!!!!

HollowTalk · 21/11/2021 20:31

Could you invite people to yours on Boxing Day?

Kitkat151 · 21/11/2021 20:43

@ldontWanna

You just described everything single Christmas we've had with DD(just the 3 of us ,always)10 years and counting. Didn't realise I'm supposed to be all sad and depressed about it. Probably because Christmas is what you make it and we make it chill,relaxed ,fun and silly and that's more than good enough for us and her.

You have the choice of sadness and longing over what you're missing (because he has no idea) or actually enjoying what you have. Up to you.

But it depends what makes you happy....And OP sounds like spending time with family is what she would like for Christmas....I wouldn’t like to spend the day just with my partner and 1 child....but obviously it suits you....I will be with my Mum, 3 kids, Son in law and 3 grandchildren....I will also see my SIL BIL 2 nephews, 1 niece and 1 great nephew for 2 hours late morning....that is what makes me happy.

BertieBotts · 21/11/2021 20:43

Ah he's only little. You don't know what the situation will be with cousins etc when he is older.

Christmas is a bit underwhelming with tiny ones but it really comes into it's own once they are about 3 or older. My three year old is Christmas mad this year.

mynameiscalypso · 21/11/2021 20:51

I understand. I used to love a big family Christmas when I was a child. Both sides of the family including grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins would generally come to our house and it was crazy and noisy and chaos (and probably a nightmare for my parents). But my parents and my in laws don't really get along and when we have forced them to spend some of Christmas Day together, it's very boring and pretty miserable. My DBro spends every other year with his wife's family in the US. My DH has a sister but she's not in a relationship/doesn't have children (and that's unlikely to change). We're probably not going to have another child and so I fear that my DS is not going to have anything like the same Christmas experience that I did. Now he's getting a bit older, I'm going to try and start finding some new traditions for the three of us but it's not necessarily how I anticipated Christmas being.

Original poster

Cakeandcardio · 21/11/2021 21:00

Thanks for all the replies. I wasn't meaning to criticise anyone who likes doing this. It's just not what I imagined.
I also realise that a one year old won't care. I just meant going forward, it's not likely that he will have the big family Christmas as cousins are already here and much older (one in 20s!).
Thanks for the tip about starting new traditions.

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ldontWanna · 21/11/2021 21:11

But it depends what makes you happy....And OP sounds like spending time with family is what she would like for Christmas....I wouldn’t like to spend the day just with my partner and 1 child....but obviously it suits you....I will be with my Mum, 3 kids, Son in law and 3 grandchildren....I will also see my SIL BIL 2 nephews, 1 niece and 1 great nephew for 2 hours late morning....that is what makes me happy.

You're assuming it's what made me happy(at the time because I'm happy with it now you're right) or that we had a choice over it. We just had to adapt and learn to love it. Focusing on the "disappointment " wouldn't have helped anything.

reluctantbrit · 21/11/2021 21:13

Christmas is what you make of it. Just because your childhood was a busy one with lots of family doesn't mean a single child has to be utterly depressed.

DD is a single child, cousins are 16+ years older and live in a different country. We do a lot of things with her, ensure she has plenty of things to do, make traditions like getting new board games each year, going out, inviting friends, doing trips.

She is 14 now and so far is not complaing about the lack of something she never experienced.

Stompythedinosaur · 21/11/2021 21:36

Whatever your situation, you will never replicate the christmases of your childhood. And that is OK because your ds will have a set of different, but equally special christmas memories to look back on.

Original poster

Cakeandcardio · 21/11/2021 22:04

@StompythedinosaurThank you! I think I was just looking for some reassurance. Felt a bit rubbish earlier about the thought of it all. But I do understand that not everything will be the same as I experienced. Thanks.

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Sn0tnose · 21/11/2021 23:10

I think that saying about comparison being the thief of joy applies here. Your DS is never going to feel sad about not having huge family Christmases because he’s never had one to miss it. The only way he’ll feel sad is if he watches you and realises that the day is somehow less than, or lacking in something because it’s not the day you would have liked for him.