How to say No

[BaconAndAvocado]

Long story but just need a bit of advice on how to firmly but politely say No to family members trying to invite other more distant family members to our house on Christmas Day.

MIL is trying to invite her daughter's boyfriend's mum (who is a friend of hers) and who we have met once!!

DH thinks it's unkind not to invite her but we'll already be full to the gills and there's a history of me and DH always accommodating everyone else's needs and now, at 52, I want to stick to our guns.

I'm sorry but there won't be room. Repeat as necessary

I'd send a message along the lines of: 'Hi just confirming that (names of people who are coming) as I need to sort food/drinks ..Sorry no extras this year only those that I've said...thanks!'

Just say no close family only as your finding it a bit much to host and need to keep it simple. It's your Christmas too, last thing you want to do is run around after strangers.

N o, it shouldn't be too hard. Just there's no more room.

The your MIL should host her daughter, daughters boyfriend, daughters boyfriends mother etc. not invite a virtual stranger to your house on Christmas Day. The boyfriend should be making sure his mother isn't alone, it's not your responsibility.

I'm very sorry, we just don't have room is more than sufficient.

If MIL continues to mention about accommodating her friend I would suggest MIL does Christmas day at her home with the guests she wants to accommodate. It will be a quieter Christmas for you.

If daughters boyfriends mum was left alone I would feel bad tbh, however it's not up to you to sort that it's up to the boyfriend to decline the invitation and spend the day with his mum, possibly with his girlfriend (mil daughter).
Or mil can host everyone, you are perfectly entitled to say no, sorry there's no room, but if some pull out so noone is left alone that's fair enough

Id say no, that won't be possible. But if you prefer you host Christmas for them at your house instead of coming to us, we completely understand.

Thanks all for your great advice

MIL is still very upset that said extra won't be there. We're sticking to our guns.

Will let you know how it pans out.

We're going abroad next year.....

Not your circus, not your monkeys, you are in no way responsible for your sister in laws, boyfriends, mother's Christmas.

@BaconAndAvocado

Thanks all for your great advice

MIL is still very upset that said extra won't be there. We're sticking to our guns.

Will let you know how it pans out.

We're going abroad next year.....

She's not the type to just show up with her on the day is she? That would be my concern.

IncompleteSenten
It's all sorted now and we're now having a smaller more relaxed Christmas 😊

Good to hear.

Should one infer that DMIL is doing her own thing and hosting her DD's BF's DM herself?! 🤫😀

@BiddyPop

Should one infer that DMIL is doing her own thing and hosting her DD's BF's DM herself?! 🤫😀

Not quite! SIL is going to spend Christmas with her boyfriend and his mum. We get to have MIL.....but no one else that's she's invited 😂

I'm actually looking forward to Christmas now rather than getting stressed abs worrying about DH getting stressed.

My sister always invites a friend who is single and has one brother she either is or isn't talking to. Last time this brother told his sister, after she told him her plans, 'maybe I'll come too'! My sister does know him but not well, and she already had ten people to cater for. He did come, and was actually helpful (gave another invitee a lift and dressed up as Santa to surprise the kids), but it was just the casualness of telling his sister, not the person actually hosting, that he 'might' come along (then this woman told my sister and kinda shrugged her shoulders as it 'wasn't her problem'). Some people just don't think.

Just say no. I've been doing it for years. If MiL wants randoms coming she can entertain them at her own house.
Honestly, christmas is nuts, I stopped doing it years ago and could not be happier.