Disappointed about

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First world problem
Just me and Dparents for Christmas and we see a few friends who will give us presents.

Things have got smaller as I’ve got older (only child). My DM is saying what with the environment and not needing things we should cut down presents to one each, no plastic.yes I am grateful to get even one gift
I am on board with it intellectually but feel a bit disappointed. It feels a little joyless, particularly after last year when even the close friends didn’t come.

Might anyone else feel like me - on the main boards I see so many people talking about not getting any adults presents.

(We also do the true spirit of Christmas- practicing Catholic and will probably be singing two services on Christmas Eve and one Christmas Day.)

One present each and a stocking full of genuinely useful items is all we do. You can put a lot of thought into one gift.

We don’t do any adult presents in my family....Christmas presents are for kids only.....i just love having time off work...being with family.....log burner on....tree up...twinkly lights....seeing friends.....( I do get my Mum tickets for the strictly tour though)

When I was a single parent I used to make my own stocking. I would buy and wrap it in November and it would feel like a surprise on Christmas Day - maybe treat yourself to a few things?

We don’t do adult presents- waste of money imo, either I buy it myself or it’s too expensive to warrant a present from anyone.

We do adult presents and always have.
Tbh it would feel joyless wo it so I get where you are coming from.

For me, there is as much, if not more, joy in finding things for my family than there’s in receiving things too.

This wouldn't disappoint me. Quite the opposite, piles of presents or big presents make me feel uncomfortable, it's all just so wasteful. The joy of Christmas comes from so, so many other elements. I quite like giving and getting experience rather than physical presents though - me and DPs do this for each other now, we all have enough stuff.

We do adult presents and I'd be disappointed with one present. There are lots of presents that aren't useless tat and even a handmade gift or a promise of a day out somewhere harms no one and is still a treat.

As PP said, could you buy a few bits for yourself or a splurge gift?

I kind of agree with you OP, though I don’t get many presents (just a couple from my mum), I do like presents if they are things I want or can use but I also agree that we need to reduce plastic and useless tat that doesn’t get used.

Btw, I’m nit sure where people are coming from with adult gifts being a ‘waste of money’.

What we give each other aren’t things we couldn’t buy. They are practical and used but things that might be a bit different from what we normally get.
Let’s say a posher version of some chutney, cheese we don’t normally buy. Towels a bit posher.

Even one of my DCs (primary school age) said to my parents that they don't need physical presents this year, they are concerned about the environmental impact, made me so proud!

How can Christmas be joyless if you are getting time off work/school, Christmas services in your church, seeing friends and family and enjoying good food and good times?

The gift of time to do what you want with the people you care about is the best gift of all.

If you want to buy something how about a board game or activity for everyone to join in over Christmas, or food gifts for the host when you go to other peoples houses. If there is anything you would like then just treat yourself.

I think people are starting to wake up to the over commericalisation of many of our big holidays, the waste created and what really matters instead.

I’m serious now.
@Clearlynotmyname what are your dcs expecting to get instead?

The gift of time to do what you want with the people you care about is the best gift of all.

For me it includes taking time to find things that I know my family will enjoy. Not tat, plastic tat or stuff that will end up at the charity shop the day after Christmas.
But thoughtful gifts, stuff that you will treasure BECAUSE it comes from them.
For me the joy of Christmas starts there. It’s part of the whole process.

Thanks for the replies and some perspective
I agree joyless is the wrong sentiment. Maybe just ASD and not liking change even when it is a good thing. I’m going along with it. I have not expressed these thoughts to DParents. DM has told me what she wants.

I already get to spend quality time with my DParents, if anything the length of time may be an issue. I need down time and the party side of Christmas isn’t easy though I like all the people we see. Getting books or a book is a great excuse for time apart on Christmas Day.

I buy myself a beauty calender, I rather enjoy a treat filled december.

I would be so disappointed with no adult presents. I love getting presents at Christmas. And so does DH! For me nice presents are key elements of Christmas!

We've never done adult presents. Kids only.

I only buy for my sisters , niece and my kids, Christmas flowers for my in laws, and stepsons. If I am seeing someone close to the holidays I'll bring them something too.
I like getting a gift and love giving them. My stepsons (adults) have received theatre tickets and cooking classes from me in recent years, and to my sister I gave a much needed wooden sewing basket that she'd never have bought for herself. Presents express love, and there doesn't have to be a pile of them.
Giving is part of the meaning of Christmas, whether it is your time, your hospitality, or a present.

Now our children are adults, we do Secret Santa in the family so that each person only has to shop for one gift and receives one gift. There's the opportunity to put a lot of thought into it and it cuts down on consumerism

You can put a lot of thought into a gift which is not plastic and won't be joyless. Just use your imagination a bit.

take a tip from me - make yourself a christmas stocking. If you see something nice while out and about over the next few weeks, or when online browsing - then buy it. I even wrap them up. And I have my grown up stocking of nice things... One year it had a Protected Species raincoat that I had been drooling over for ages and when I saw an online sale I bought it and then put it away for my own christmas gift to myself!
If you feel parents will disapprove - then theres no need to share with them that you are doing it...

Yes i totally agree! Don't listen to all these people who think they are better than everyone else because they only have one present. Christmas is all about presents. None of this being with family crap. You should definitely feel upset with only getting one present. How mean!

** We do adult presents and always have.
Tbh it would feel joyless wo it so I get where you are coming from.

For me, there is as much, if not more, joy in finding things for my family than there’s in receiving things too.**

^This

When a single parent many moons ago ago I used to get a few small things I liked and wrapped them up for me to unwrap with my small child as one year she noticed there wasn’t much for me and was sad.
I bought myself things I usually thought a bit extravagant, nice chocolate, a lovely hand cream, etc.
Could you buy some house presents, a nice box of chocolate or biscuits etc. Something to enjoy over the festive period.

I understand where you are coming from, it is kind of similar for me. When I was married H and I used to get each other a 'big' gift and a few little gifts. Now I'm divorced I get a little something from the (grown up) kids and a little something from my sister. But it is all fairly low key. (I also have a birthday very close to Christmas and often get given joint presents)
So I treat myself, I get myself something I would really like in the craft area (I enjoy lots of crafts) so I have something to do in the quiet days following Christmas, and I get myself a good book to read.
And actually I am quite happy with this - I don't really need anything 'big' . Its nice to have something to unwrap on Christmas morning though, would your Mum get you several smaller items (maybe edible things to cut down waste) to make it a bit more festive?

(A the risk of sounding completely mad - I buy a couple of little things for my dog and I 'help' him unwrap them)