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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Do you tell your DC a budget figure?

44 replies

Ratherly · 03/11/2021 19:07

First year where youngest knows it's not Santa, yet his Christmas list wish list is long!

Eldest on the other is reluctant to ask for anything, is very conscious of expense.

So I'm thinking I could tell them both for separate reasons what our budget is?

Or will that ruin the magic?

OP posts:

mam0918 · 04/11/2021 12:32

My kids don't ask for anything, pretty much never have... my oldest asked for 2 (cheap) things at 3 years old and that's it.

We have never done lists and things, I use to circle things in Argos catalogue as kids (you go crazy and circle and random old tat) but we never got the things we circled but we got awesome things.

I think getting what we circled would be an anticlimactic letdown, to be honest, the one year I asked for something it was a Furby and when I got it took all of 10 minutes to realise I HATED it lol.

Part of the huge joy of Xmas is the fact you have no clue what you are getting, which is how gifts should be not a list of demands which just encourages entitlement in later life IMO.

episcomama · 04/11/2021 12:36

@Bookaholic73

Yes I do. Last year was an expensive year, as I bought DS17 a new iPhone and a new PlayStation 5. But this year he will get just a few games and a stocking.

Other than the years like last year, I set a £500 limit.

Good grief, how much did you spend last year?

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 04/11/2021 12:39

Mine happily work to a budget. My ds has been negotiating recently, to increase his by £10. Usually he will cut things. I admire his negotiation skills.

psuedocream3 · 04/11/2021 12:48

When we were in double digits we were given the option of presents or cash (£100). We always opted for cash and a stocking.

I don't think the magic of Christmas comes from a budget or even the presents, for me it was always spending time with family, dressing up in ur best clothes, a fancy meal at a decorated table with lots of delicious food, music, dancing, roasting chestnuts on the fire etc

NoReason · 04/11/2021 12:54

I think it all plays a part. I love getting my children lots of presents that they want, we still spend quality time together, have nice food, play games, decorate the house etc. The presents are a big part though for us.

CottonPyjamas · 04/11/2021 13:09

I've always told my children that I send the money to Santa, hence having a budget. They write a wish list that Santa can choose from, and he may also pick items they haven't thought of. My eldest has known for a few years now that Santa isn't real, but he thinks carefully and won't request anything too expensive.

Sprogonthetyne · 04/11/2021 13:13

I'm on the fence, maybe you could give a rough idea for the main gift, then have the smaller bits be more of a suprise.

The reason I'm sceptical is that it's a slippery slope from, "pick something for £X", to "this is in budget in X shops sale, here the link, shall I order it for you?", or even "I saw this think I like, so I brought it, can I have the money back". So it can desend into them doing there own Christmas shopping, which I think dose ruin it a bit. (I brought my own presents from 10ish onwards, and it wasn't the same).

Clementineapples · 04/11/2021 13:15

I would tell them what their budget is but make it a bit less than it actually is so you can buy them some extra unexpected bits

Clementineapples · 04/11/2021 13:18

Surprises are also quite unpleasant, or irritating, or disappointing, for many autistic people

Ds and I are autistic. Every year he opens his presents, goes to bed and watches YouTube with Christmas food. He likes his presents it’s just very overwhelming and takes him months to actually interact with any of them.
This is our first year just me and him so will be all about food, movies and games and not the presents lol

ShoppingBasket · 04/11/2021 13:24

My ds doesn't know what my budget is because if I can keep it on the low side - happy days. I get him to make a list but he knows it is a wish list and not a given he will get everything or I might swap something out.

1stTimeMama · 04/11/2021 13:25

I'd absolutely not tell them, it would make Christmas so clinical and joyless. Regardless of whether or not they believe, it's still wonderful to have the surprises and fun. Mine all still believe, they make lists but know they won't get everything on it.
For my autistic children, we have discussed whether it not they'd like Father Christmas to surprise them if he finds something he thinks they might like, but that they didn't ask for, and they're happy with that.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 04/11/2021 13:36

This all depends on your child and what they ask for. My dds have never asked for anything extravagant so most of the time they get everything they ask for and a few extras. And they are now 13 and 9 so not little ones.

MrsPear · 06/11/2021 19:49

Mine know a budget but what they are writing is a wish list. They may not get it all and they may get different things. They understand that. I’ve always been open about money.

reluctantbrit · 06/11/2021 21:48

We don’t have a set budget but when DD came up with an idea which would be very expensive if done properly I sat down and talked about money with her.

She could have gotten it but then not a lot else and I knew that that was not her idea of Christmas.

I think it is ok to talk about prices of the things they ask for but I don’t want to have a wish list determined by the best place to buy it from.

Notagoodmonth · 06/11/2021 22:00

Don't dc already understand there isn't an unlimited fund though because they never ever get everything they want?

I think having a budget is good but sharing that with them specifically... Is someone what joyless.

Notagoodmonth · 06/11/2021 22:03

Can't they simply have ya list with three absolute essentials ranked from 1/3 and depending on cost is what they get.
I've never done gifts like this,it seems some regimented

Lovelydiscusfish · 06/11/2021 23:48

This is interesting - my Dd is so conscious of the fact that I don’t have much money that it’s hard to get her to ask for anything!

I’m proud of her for her lack of materialism and her sensitivity, but at the same time I’d like her to worry about it less - I do budget carefully for Christmas, so will have money to spend on her - not a lot by some people’s standards perhaps, but more than others’ - it’s so relative. So maybe if she knew this she would feel more comfortable asking if there are things she wants? I’ve never thought of telling her a budget before, but may give it some thought….

Floralnomad · 07/11/2021 00:46

I think if you have a definite upper limit then you should make older children aware of it so they can adjust their expectations if necessary and put things on their wish list that are within the budget .

thaegumathteth · 07/11/2021 01:23

No but we don't really have a budget as such, can't be crazy though!!

If we said a budget then dd in particular would stress about it - she always worries about spending money in case she wastes it and itd ruin the enjoyment I think.

Ds never really asks for much so I've never had to worry about it with him.

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