Christmas day on your own

[MrsSnape]

I'm a single parent so last year I spent christmas day on my own with the kids and tbh it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, probably because at the time I was "happily single".

This year is going to be the same, just me and the kids but I'm feeling a bit upset about it. I see everyone else together with their husbands laughing and enjoying a drink together, snuggling up on christmas night to watch a film when the kids are in bed but my christmas day is quite lonely.

So the kids get up, open their presents, we play with toys all morning...then I cook a meal that only me and DS1 will eat, then I have to wash up by myself. Then when the kids are in bed I'm completely by myself.

Whilst everyone else is snuggled with their partners I'll be sat with a bottle of bacardi either playing on the new xbox or watching tv on my own.

My mum has invited us to go there but one thing I insist on at christmas is that we stay in our own home so I have declined but we are going there for boxing day. I have no friends that I could invite over either.

I know I have a lot to be thankful for and I know other people have it worse than me...I just hate being reminded that I am on my own at the worst time of year

believe me dh anx I will prob not be talking by christmas night due to arguing over toys,presents,christmas dinner and probably all the above...

could you not just go over to your mums for some company?

better than sitting alone, in fact stay the night and have a drink

meant tp say can understand you feeling upset and lonely but think we sometimes think the other side is better than it really is

i dont know what its like to be in your shoes, but i agree with your last sentence, you do have lots to be thankful for, your healthy happychildren(and you have managed to get them fab presents!) and you do have offers for Christmas day, but you are sticking to your choice of staying at home.

Like i said im not in your position, but you cant miss what you havent got, so a partner wouldnt really make things better,many people will be stressed and arguing with their partners on Christmas day, them getting drunk, falling asleep, farting smelly sprout farts your childrens faces will be something to treasure, get them to help you do dinner, set table, make them pizza and chips if it means theyll eat with you!, fill the sink with soapy water and dump the posts in there till later and just enjoy the day with them?

i really hope you do manage to have a nice day

guess we all thought the same thing then!

You could always come on Mumsnet and drink bacardi when the children are in bed! You'd be surprised how many people are actually around then tbh, and especially on NYE.

And I certainly won't be suggling up with my dh.

I think if I were you I would be bending my Christmas Day rule slightly, either to go out to your mums or ask them to come round to see your dc with their toys for a while either in the morning or after your meal?

I know myself on Christmas Day I am usually ready for collapsing in a heap by the time the DC are in bed, so I would most likely get some chocs snuggle up in front of the TV, or buy yourself a good book and chill out, or come on here.

How far away is your mum's place? How about going round for a the late afternoon/early evening , having a bit of company?

Why don't you have Christmas Day at your house, then drive to your mum's in the evening as you're going for Boxing Day anyway?

That way you get Christmas in your own home which seems to be very imp. to you, then the kids get a nocturnal adventure and you get evening company?

A rule is a rule but it's supposed to make your life easier/ better. If it makes things worse for you at an already difficult time, perhaps you could look at modifying it?

i would go to your mums, i am single parent i know how you feel - it is a lonely time of year,

if noone will eat christmas dinner i wouldnt bother unless you are relly keen to have it, do something you can all eat together....

to be honest i am glad when mine have gone to bed as i am so exhausted afetr getiing up at 5...... so i will have a bath and watch something good on tv, or but a funny dvd on...

you have to do what is easier for you cherish the times with your children as i always think i will be much lonier when there are not around anymore - moved out sob sob

Thats a good post ernest

Why not invite your Mum to yours?

chocolatespiders, are you spending the day at home alone all day? if so did you have the option to do something different?

I dont know, to be honest there isnt a great atmosphere at my mums, they watch TV all day, its quiet and a bit boring and they would no doubt get tired of the kids running around plus the kids wont want to be torn away from their xbox (and they wouldnt plug it in there as my sister will have her new Wii set up.

Plus I am OVERLY paranoid about being burgled on christmas day/eve and would worry all day about the house.

I don't have a car and my mum lives a far distance away so I couldn't just pop around for an hour and she wont come here as they too like to spend christmas day in their own home.

I just need to get through the day I suppose and then everything starts going back to normal, I see couples arguining and think "thank god I'm single" .

Its just on Christmas day, it gets to me a bit.

Message withdrawn

dont know about you but i say all round to marybleddinpoppins!!! sounds like an absolutely fab day, - good for you for enjoying the day - hope you have a fab time

Even those of us in traditional family set-ups can feel a bit lonely at Christmas, after all the running about to get ready, Christmas day itself can be a dull day. Don't think that we are all in a romantic haze all day, it's probably truer to say we have been snapping at each other since dawn, and are looking forward to the following day when we can get out and see strangers again, because too much family is bad for your mental health.

I suppose it has to be considered that you don't have to spend it alone.. and that you are choosing to.. and that others don't have the choice to be anything but alone.

Why do you insist on Christmas day in your own house? If we all said that, then Christmas wouldn't be about spending time with family at all..

(no offence intended)

Message withdrawn

Are you missing your ex then?