Presents - help me word this nicely, please.

[excitednerves]

I’ll try to keep this short. Last year my “step sister” bought my children Christmas presents unexpectedly. My children were (last Christmas) age 1 and a newborn. Her children are now aged 11 and 10. I have never bought them presents, and hadn’t last year either.

I say “step sister” in quotations as my dad has been with her mum for at least 12 years, before she had children, and I’ve met her once at my dads 60th birthday party, potentially one other time before that.

I don’t want to start buying presents for children I never see. I don’t see SS at all or communicate with her in any way. My brother says she buys for their kids and they send presents back via my dad but I just don’t see the point?!?

How can I word a message to her to politely ask not to buy anything this year?

Yeh, I wouldn't send a message either as no matter how hard you try to phrase it, I can see how she might be upset to receive it. I'd go with the selection box idea, BUT I probably would invite them over for drinks as well - if I liked them- as it was sweet to think of you and I agreebwith a PP that it sounds like they're trying to reach out.

Unless you have a reason to avoid her, I’d send a card early suggesting a drink or something (if you live reasonably close). She’s obviously keen to maintain a relationship and gifts are the way she’s doing it. If it’s not your way, suggest something else

On the other hand, if you don’t want a relationship with her, do nothing.

I think it's fine to send a message like the one @Holly60 drafted. I can understand why you'd want to do this rather than say nothing and potentially continue to receive gifts, I would feel the same.

Amazed how many on the thread are suggesting you start sending gifts back and/or start encouraging a relationship with her. Totally not what the OP asked! 🤦🏻‍♀️