My FIL is coming to stay for 2 weeks at Christmas

[Asiama]

And I am soooooooo happy about it that I am bursting with excitement and want to share the news with everyone!

I have fantastic in-laws and love my FIL loads (my wonderful MIL is no longer with us). This is the first Christmas we will be spending together as he lives in another country and normally spends it with his elderly mother.

I don't have a relationship with my parents, had rubbish Christmases with them as a child / teenager and wasn't allowed to visit for Christmas after I had moved out (and they wouldn't visit us either) so this feels like such a big thing to me!

Also, if anyone has any tips on how I can make it a lovely Christmas for him then please tell me!! I'm sure he will be missing his mother and I want him to have a nice time.

Oh and we have often had him over for 2 weeks and we cry when he leaves because we just love having him here, so I'm not worried about the length of his visit.

I think this thread might be the very definition of 'christmassy'......

Have a lovely time with him, you all sound absolutely fabulous!

FIL has his own bedroom in our house, literally. We bought a house just after MIL passed and FIL was a SAHP with little income so wanted to make sure he always felt welcome without worrying about hotel costs. He has chosen all the furniture, bedding etc for his room which includes family pictures (incl MIL and his mum), comfy chair and radio. He does spend time in there every afternoon when he comes as he needs a little break in the day. He's got his own wardrobe where he stores all the things he doesn't want to carry around between countries eg slippers. The first year after MIL passed, he visited us 5 times for 2 weeks at a time. It was wonderful having him around but also bittersweet because it wouldn't have happened if my MIL had still been with us.

I hadn't thought of Christmas bedding! He would find that so funny. I also thought maybe Christmas crackers? Pretty sure he doesn't know what they are and DH and I have never bought them as it seemed a bit pointless for just 2 people.

@Latenightreader my FIL is a bit like that advert. He listens to English radio at home and tries to teach himself so that he can interact with his grandchildren

He could read the night before Christmas to the children in Christmas eve. Your FiL sound like my in-laws we visited the other day because FiL was supposed to go to hospital he wouldn't let me do anything so I could sit and chat to MiL who has dementia.

Delightful thread Get him some cosy brushed cotton christmas bedding. His own special Christmas mug? Visit a garden centre with a nice cafe. Visit an NTS property that's been decorated for Christmas. I hope you all have a wonderful time.

This is a lovely thread @Asiama 😊 I really hope you all have a lovely time!

If he likes music etc then maybe you could find a local carol concert to take him to. Do you all have special baubles for your Christmas tree? Maybe he’d like one to add to your tree. Love the idea of making him a stocking and getting a Christmas jumper.

Lovely that he is so at home in your home!

Matching tartan Christmas PJs with the whole family including him.

Little light up Christmas tree or similar in his room?

What a lovely thread! If you have children, book him in to take them to see Father Christmas.

Don't go mad getting loads of Things... The matching PJs would be soooo tempting though! Think about incorporating his Christmas traditions on the right days for his country. Would he enjoy decorating a gingerbread house with you?

any gardens that have light shows near you?
do you go to a christmas grotto?

As well as listening to English on the radio, would he like learning via Duolingo?
Free and in bite-sized chunks, he might enjoy the daily challenge of keeping up his ‘streak’ .
My DH is learning Portuguese with Duo so that he can use it talk to our bilingual Brazilian grandson.

I've got tears in my eyes reading reading this, you all sound lovely.

So many great ideas on here, I don't think I have any to add, but hope you have a wonderful time.

Don't let his visit pass by without a box of Aldi florentines (each) over a board game

That's lovely. We lost my FIL in August. He was a widower since 2009 and spent a lot of time with us, joining us on holidays, and was so involved with the children. I really miss him. (he was also beyond infuriating sometimes, but used to make me laugh). I was very ill with my first pregnancy and stayed with him on and off for the last few months. We often used to have mutual naps in the chair, and he'd buy me cream cakes at waitrose to 'keep my strength up'. Enjoy spoiling your at Chrstmas!

I make MIL a Christmas stocking, for years she didn’t have one. I always find something that reminds her of her childhood, so sugar mice, and she loves the nutcracker and I found a fifties loose powder holder that played the dance of the sugar plum fairies. And we have a joke gift too baked beans (it’s a family joke between MIL & DH & SIL which they told me about and always include in stockings).

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas together.

I honestly think this is my favourite thread right now! Brought a lump to my throat reading your further comments today.

Do you feel comfortable telling us which country he’s from? Might help with suggestions for showing him a different type of Christmas to what he’s used to...

Anyway, imo you definitely need all of these:

Christmas stocking - typical gifts, you’ve already mentioned sweets but need a bit of chocolate in there too...chocolate Brussels sprouts? Chocolate orange? Definitely socks too. And maybe an aftershave. A book? A good little pocket sized game or puzzle.

(You don’t have to drive for miles to a shop to buy the stocking(s) - just order online! The big supermarkets will have their own Christmas section with stockings/bedding/mugs etc so if you make an order for delivery you can tack it all onto the same order - or buy bit by bit if you need to budget. Or you could have a look at Etsy).

Christmas bedding! Possibly Christmas pyjamas too (but that’s a step too far for me personally.) or a nice cosy set of winter pyjamas, which would be my preference.
Christmas jumper - again you can get these for a reasonable price at the supermarket.
Christmas mug and possibly plate
Crackers at dinner and you must wear the hats too, of course...
Hot chocolate on Christmas Eve with bailey’s/rum/amaretto, marshmallows and cream.
I absolutely love watching Carols from King’s, definitely don’t miss that!
Also Father Christmas and The Snowman cartoons by Raymond Briggs. Wouldn’t be Christmas without those...

Oh yes definitely a board game! Or card game...

@Asiama if you do decide to go down the pyjamas route then the M&S red tartan brushed cotton ones are beautiful this year 😊 they have adults and children’s ones all matching. Ours were delivered yesterday and the quality is really lovely!

Oh i love this thread, thank you all! So far I have got:

Go for a Christmassy walk and enjoy the decorations
Find a carol service and / or Christmas concert
Put together some movies for us to watch
Board / card games
Wear Christmas cracker hats!
Christmas jumper (not sure if he will appreciate pyjamas? Although he loves M&S, we have to go there every time he visits!)
Visit a garden centre, he would love that!
Christmas stocking
Red cabbage for Christmas dinner
I think the Duolingo thing might make a great Christmas present so thank you for the idea!

I hope i have remembered all the ideas!

He is coming over from Germany 🇩🇪 we are going to do some of the presents on the 24th, then Santa will come with stockings on the 25th. I hope that works. Bit of a mish mash of traditions!

I am sooooooooo happy! We all miss him so much already and he was only here last week!

Oh he’s German?
DH is German and woe betide us if we forget the red cabbage at Christmas!! He also loves goose at xmas but it’s not the easiest thing to cook I know
How about applesauce? DH and his family love it with a roast
I am imagining your lovely FIL as a cross between a large elf and the Coca Cola Santa and am very jealous. He sounds fab

Oh you have cheered me up SO MUCH thank you! Show him this thread, and give him a big hug from me.

Can you do some sort of hideous FIL on the shelf thing in his honour? Buy him a Father Christmas outfit!

I am so excited for you!

Doesn’t have to be specific Christmas pyjamas - just a nice, warm, cosy pair. M&S do lovely pyjamas at Christmas time!

I’m from Denmark and our Christmases are very much connected to the Germanic traditions. I like the mish mash we do of Danish/English.

Please don’t skip the Carols from King’s on telly! I think they show it on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day if I remember correctly. We love to have a cheese and charcuterie board with a good glass of wine/port/ale, some little chocolates and cakes and just enjoy the beautiful choir.

I suppose you’ll definitely have mince pies at the ready?

Have a look at the snowman tour to see if the dates/locations could work for his visit:
www.carrotproductions.com/snowman

Ooh and Aldi stollen is fab!

I think those lovely wooden Christmas pyramid windmill things are a German tradition? Perhaps someone in the know can comment?

I’m so excited for you!

Bunte Teller - individual plates of biscuits, fruit, nuts etc, made up for each person. Traditional for some Germans. You could do these on Christmas Eve.

@Asiama

Yes I did think a positive in-law post might throw some people off!

He definitely slots in into our home life, he just gets stuck in with household chores, does the washing up etc. He helps us so much and then complains that he isn't doing enough and asks what more he could do to help. He's such a darling!

Stockings is a great idea! Does BM sell them in their home stores? That's the nearest one we have and it's a 40 min drive away 😣 and I'll need to google for ideas on what to put in it! He loves fruit pastilles and Nestle Whip which he doesn't get at home, so that's a good start I suppose!

One of his favourite parts of his Christmas meal at home is red cabbage so I will cook that. I hadn't thought of that so thank you!

He's coming from a cold country so will be fine here a walk on Christmas Eve is an excellent idea as our street always looks festive. He loves classical music, maybe I can find a classical Christmas concert.

He doesn't own a Christmas jumper but I know he would love one! He thought ours were hilarious when he saw a picture a few years ago 😂 he had never heard of them before. I will see if I can get one for him!

Thank you for the ideas! Oh the excitement is just too much!!! When I told him I had booked his flights for him he said he was jumping up and down for joy. Imagine a man in his 70s doing that

Absolutely love this, what a lovely DIL you are to be thinking of him like this