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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Chrismukkah gift for DH

51 replies

onlychildhamster · 17/09/2021 09:25

Don't celebrate Christmas (and Hannukah isn't really fussed about as it's a minor holiday in a religious context) but I always buy a holiday gift for DH. He is hard to buy for!

Past presents are generally jumpers and shirts and cufflinks (he didn't like them cos they were personalized) and Conway hall concert tickets. Would like to be a little more creative this year. He likes classical music (but is picky about composer/quality etc, plus has far too many CDs from Foyle's), coffee (worships Caffe Nero but rejects all offers of coffee vouchers), art galleries (I don't like them as much and so wouldn't buy a membership for myself; we spend all weekends together, what would I do if I bought him a Tate membership and he was at exhibitions; I wouldn't mind waiting for him but he would probably prefer me to join him plus he is very picky about artists too; I once booked him one of those modern art type audio visual exhibitions and he walked out). I have given him cinema gift cards but he doesn't like them either, as I think he lost one in the past.

He loves eating and cooking. However I am not sure I want another gadget in our kitchen side eyes abandoned soda stream machine and I already bought him a £65 Zweilling knife for his birthday and we already spent over £250 on posh pots from the same brand this year. I am not convinced on ice cream makers.

I thought of just taking him out to eat but I really do prefer physical gifts. He doesn't like massages either.

I am not making this easy, I know but any suggestions would be great. We live in London if that helps

OP posts:
Nordicwannabe · 18/09/2021 04:39

I don't think he sounds ungrateful, but if you pretend to like things people keep giving them to you, which is wasteful.

How about tickets to see The lights at Kew. It's acceptably cultural, but also childishly fun (and a nice tie-in with Hanukkah lights)

Lockdownbear · 18/09/2021 05:20

Given he's so hard to buy for I'd take a different approach, agree to a budget of £30 and 3 things.
So you both have stuff to open without spending a fortune on unloved stuff.

onlychildhamster · 18/09/2021 05:41

@Nordicwannabe that's a lovely idea but his mum has a Kew membership which enables her to bring along 2 people for free so that would be her gift to us probably!

We have fully joint finances so we would really be wasting our money if we got each other things we didn't like. Also I think I am more sympathetic to his pickiness as I know his family background, his mum didn't have much money growing up as there were 4 kids so I think pickiness is a blessing in a way as you don't feel upset about not being able to afford stuff. His mum is picky about 'normal gifts' too but the saving grace is that she is a woman who likes nice smells/alternative hippie stuff.

As quoted from DH ' I don't really think about the stuff I want, I just think about how to earn money'.

OP posts:
Twilightstarbright · 18/09/2021 07:29

I’d honestly stop exchanging gifts with him. My DH and I often don’t do Christmas presents as it was getting to the point where it was very transactional- him reimbursing me for a new foundation I’d tried on in Space NK and me contributing to tickets to a football match. Utterly pointless! Now we go for a nice meal together and neither of us mind.

As twee as it sounds, our gift is time together, neither of us needs more stuff!

My only last suggestion is tickets to see A Christmas Carol at the Old Vic.

toolazytothinkofausername · 18/09/2021 08:07

"Last Christmas, I think I took him to the Charlotte Tilbury counter at Selfridges and picked out an item, he paid for it."

"We have fully joint finances"

Biscuit

My DH and I never give each other gifts. We buy our own stuff. Instead of giving material gifts we just do kind things for each other everyday and that is enough.

blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2009/11/is-it-time-to-ban-christmas-presents/

ShareAToothpickTradingLipstick · 18/09/2021 08:17

I’m tired just reading about all the things he’s rejected and aren’t good enough. I can’t imagine putting so much effort in knowing it’s likely he’d hate whatever I gave him. I wouldn’t bother, joint finances so he can buy himself something.

JuneOsborne · 18/09/2021 08:18

I mean, they're all right, the previous posters. But if we ignore the fact that he sounds like douche of the highest order and try and help you with gifts...

How old is he?

If he's a thoughtless gift buyer, why are you bending over backwards to buy him a gift? Can't you take him to a cook shop and let him choose something and pay for it (like he did for you?) There's one on the edge of borough market.

In your shoes, I'd start a collection. So he likes fancy kitchen knives. Just keep buying him the same make knife, but a different one. That should do you a good few years worth?
Alternatively:
A steak stone? An apron that says 'dont you know I've got good taste?' a beer making kit? A cheese making kit? A sack to keep his gold in?

ShareAToothpickTradingLipstick · 18/09/2021 08:19

I get the feeling you’re desperate to get him something that will impress him cos he thinks he’s above everything. Very unattractive.

snowstorm2012 · 18/09/2021 08:19

How about tickets to the BBC Good Food winter show at the end of November? We've booked and are staying over at a hotel so we can join in on the wine tasting too 😃 can't wait!

It's at the Birmingham NEC btw so not sure if that's convenient - have a nose though on the website, looks great.

LizzieMacQueen · 18/09/2021 08:25

His mother is very rude & disrespectful to your parents too. Saying a coach holiday is the sort of thing your parents would enjoy. Do you not see the slur there OP @onlychildhamster

Your husband sounds like a dick. Do you love each other?

wheresmyshoe · 18/09/2021 08:39

He does sound rather hard work and a bit of a joy sucker.
I second the Sous Chef idea, either a voucher or pick out some treaty bits for him. The truffle crisps are amazing and so are the Perello olives. Gourmand heaven.

onlychildhamster · 18/09/2021 08:41

@LizzieMacQueen Well she also said it's something her parents do too so I don't think she was insulting her own parents! She probably meant tourists as her parents are also from overseas..

Yes we love each othher. Everyone here tells me him being honest with me is rude or disrespectful but I don't really see it. He wouldn't tell strangers he dislikes their gifts, he thanks them and feigns immense gratitude in that excessively polite English way. I am not English so it seems a bit fake to me and if I was the giver, I would probably suspect something was up but what do I know. He tells me when I ask him. I would rather know than give him awful gifts for the next few decades.

OP posts:
LizzieMacQueen · 18/09/2021 08:44

How about a grooming advent calendar then, Harrods will be doing a men's beauty one this year I believe.

onlychildhamster · 18/09/2021 08:49

@LizzieMacQueen sadly he isn't into grooming. He doesn't like Harrods...I bought him a skincare set last year cos he mentioned he had been using my facial cleanser. I have been using his skincare set as he doesn't use it otherwise.

OP posts:
LizzieMacQueen · 18/09/2021 08:54

Ah shame. I did mean Liberty of course Smile

mdh2020 · 18/09/2021 09:01

My DH is generally considered by the whole family to be impossible to buy for. The most successful gifts have been -
Experience days - falconry and playing the organ in Gloucester Cathedral
A bat detector
An indoor/ outdoor thermometer
A dash cam
A mixed box of 12 non-alcoholic beers.
Most other things have been discarded, often unopened.
This year I am going to buy him a box of assorted cheeses which I saw advertised on Amazon.

Snoken · 18/09/2021 09:03

Does he drink coffee? Maybe some kopi luwak?

loveforplants · 18/10/2021 03:30

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GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 18/10/2021 07:16

[quote onlychildhamster]@LizzieMacQueen Well she also said it's something her parents do too so I don't think she was insulting her own parents! She probably meant tourists as her parents are also from overseas..

Yes we love each othher. Everyone here tells me him being honest with me is rude or disrespectful but I don't really see it. He wouldn't tell strangers he dislikes their gifts, he thanks them and feigns immense gratitude in that excessively polite English way. I am not English so it seems a bit fake to me and if I was the giver, I would probably suspect something was up but what do I know. He tells me when I ask him. I would rather know than give him awful gifts for the next few decades.[/quote]

I had a feeling there was a bit of a cultural difference going on. We English have to exclaim in delight and gratitude over every gift we get, no matter how hideous. Glares at the hideous turquoise acrylic jumper my MIL gave me for my birthday which I know have to keep forever and even occasionally wear Shock

I get him really good coffee and, if he's already got all the coffee gadgets, maybe a lovely china mug to drink it from?

JumperandJacket · 18/10/2021 12:33

Monmouth coffee gift sub? It's superb coffee, much better than Caffe Nero.

peepholepringle · 18/10/2021 13:24

Celtic & Co have a £10 off code, minimum spend £10. Code UKGIFT10

peepholepringle · 18/10/2021 13:27

Whoops! Wrong thread. Apologies.

Happycupcake · 18/10/2021 22:40

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Howmanysleepsnow · 18/10/2021 23:07

Ember coffee mug?
Coffee subscription?

toolazytothinkofausername · 28/11/2021 20:45

@onlychildhamster What did you end up buying?