What can I get my mum for Christmas (she has lost the use of her right arm and can't talk after brain surgery)?

[JackBlackRoady]

My mum came home from hospital on Friday after 7 weeks in hospital for a brain aneurysm, she can walk and is pretty alert, but she can't move her right arm and she can only say a few words, just makes sounds when talking. She is having speech therapy and physiotherapy so hopefully it will get better.

The thing is I would love to get her a brilliant present for Christmas but I can't think. I have got her some things to help her in the kitchen (she won't leave the jobs around the house, just because only one arm works!) from this website but they are not really special things, are they?

She was the world's best knitter before this, and I am nearly 4 months pg, so I know she wants to knit but can't. I would have got her tickets to the Tutankhamun exhibition in London before this happened, but now she might just worry she won't be well enough. Also the surgery has altered her face a little and she is very sensitive about going out in public, so I can't get her anything like a pamper day or something.

Help! I don't know what to get her and she really deserves something lovely!!!
fingers crossed that mn will guide me,
JBR
xxx

ooh I don't know but someone with more inspiration than me will be along in a minute! And will keep thinking.

Hobbies/interests?

TBH spending Xmas with her family is probably going to be the best present for her atm . What about a 'voucher' for a day out with just the two of you in next year? Doesn;t have to be too energetic.

Ooh, what about a nice cashmere wrap thingy (good in cold weather if she finds jumpers hard to get into).

Your poor mum, and poor you.
I work as a neurophysiotherapist. An aneurysm is devastating. 7 weeks is not long in terms of the recovery process (recovery can take 3-6 months, speech recovery even longer) so hold on to your hope (you sound very positive).

I agree that the practical gifts may be useful but not what she may be hoping for at Xmas. I'd look for something to make her feel good about herself rather than draw attention to her current disability.

You know her best, jewlery, pampering products or books (if she is able to read), cds, etc.

People often find going out in public places and especially for meals understandably difficult at this early stage.

Good luck both of you.

Can you have her over for Christmas? Being with you and grandchildren might be the sort of tonic she needs.

Audio books? Music? Tickets to a classical concert or carols by candlelight? Compilation of photos of her nearest and dearest? Home made food for her freezer? Visit from a mobile beauty therapist for a pedicure?

HTH.

Firstly as awful as this sort of illness is, I'm glad to hear she is out of hospital. My dad had an aneurysm last year and also spent weeks in hospital, while I was pg with DTs so I have some idea of what you've been through and anyone going through it who survives is just so lucky.

Would she be able to use a knitting machine? I've never seen one, so don't know if it's a sensible idea or not.

Maybe if you did manage to get tickets to see Tut towards the end of the exhibition run she might feel more confident about going out by then.

I'm sure you'll get loads of brill ideas, just wanted to wish you all the best.

hello and thank you for the great ideas, I knew mn would help!

Her hobbies are knitting and baking - she's close to 70 now, and does put family first. I am also asking for my dad, brother and sister, as we are all talking about what to get her. You are right that she will mostly love the fact we are all going to be together, as we thought she might still be in hospital.

I love the idea of a cashmere wrap! I see what you mean about the voucher for the two of us or getting tickets for the Tut exhibition later on - that really makes sense actually, it can give her something to look forward to, and she knows she will be so much better by then. My sister and me have done her a photo album to help the speech therapist have something to talk to her about. Audio books are another good idea, or music, I will have to get her something to play it on too, so that would be a good present.

Thank you - I am going shopping in a sec so will have a look out for some of these things. Scattyspice - 5 months from now I am hoping she's tons better, I know she is excited about the new baby, I told her just before she had this and she was so pleased. Piximon - how is your dad doing now?

xxx

sorry to hear about your mum JBR and also your dad piximon.

Just to say I too have suffered an brain aneurysm about 10 years ago. I had surgery to clip it.

sorry though - can't help you with your present ideas but if you need to chat or ask questions, just post

I second the idea of audio books .. my brother used to love them when he couldnt get out and about when he was ill. Mind you I think you can download quite a lot of them for free now .. maybe something to download them on like an mp3?

I was going to suggest audio books too, but I am wondering about an mp3 player- there are lots of knitting podcasts out there, so she might like listening if it's not too painful a reminder? It must be gutting not to be able to knit any more, I am so sorry.

JBR - thanks for asking, he is much better than he was, but truthfully he seems to have aged overnight and turned into an old man. I know at 63 he is an old man, but before he used to be bright as a button, quite active and be really involved in his grand children's lives, all of this has changed. He also has other health issues and I think the whole thing just diminished him. I am glad to have my dad back though, for a while after, he changed personalities and was really awful to all of us.

He also finds it harder to get motivated to leave the house and I worry about how our move out of the area will affect him and hope he will consider moving near to us. I'm very thankful he now has a happy marriage and a wife who will take good care of him.

I wish your mum all the best with her recovery and you with the pregnancy and birth, is it your first?

hello again everyone! i got her a gorgeous cashmere wrap today, my sister is going to get her the Tut tickets and my brother has the CD/audio books idea. You have all been stars!

Piximon - it is my second, i have a son who'll be 13 when this one comes along. I know what you mean about the aging thing - my mum had cancer before this and the effect on her apparent age is huge...

thanks again to you all!
JBR
xxx

PS - thanks for that Furball, I will probably be back, pestering you as she progresses, i will have to mine you for information - i hope you are well now xxx