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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

whooosh - charity gifts cause bad feelign

20 replies

pinetreedog · 03/12/2007 18:49

My sister has just emailed to say as she has just got married and has been buying stuff, she will not be giving presents this year and she doesn't want any in return. She and her dh will give to a charity and we can give to one if we want.

I have always felt ok about charity Christmas giving. Until I got this email. Now I feel I'm getting bossed about.

Am i being an arse?

OP posts:

belgo · 03/12/2007 18:50

sounds like a perfectly good idea to me.

Original poster

pinetreedog · 03/12/2007 18:53

that's not what I feel like hearing right now.

OP posts:

TheQueenOfQuotes · 03/12/2007 18:53

sounds like a good idea to me too

interesting article today that reckons up to £2bn could be spent on unwanted/pointless gifts each Christmas!

belgo · 03/12/2007 18:55

do you really want a present from her that much?

TenLordsaLapin · 03/12/2007 18:57

It's a good idea - we don't do presents for adults at all any more, except our parents. Only children up to the age of 18. I mean, none of us really NEEDS anything.

Original poster

pinetreedog · 03/12/2007 19:00

yes yes yes. I've been saying that myself. Adults shouldn't be getting adults presnets. It's silly, we could just spend it on ourselves instead of getting stupid stuff for others. I know that's right.

My problem is, I don;t like to feel I'm being bossed about. She's become so serious

OP posts:

Original poster

pinetreedog · 03/12/2007 19:08

loads of people have got annoyed at charity gifts in the past. Where are they all? I want to be their friend tonight.

OP posts:

belgo · 03/12/2007 19:13

lol pinetreedog. I personally dislike charity gifts given to a young child who doesn't understand them.

But between adults, it's fine. sorry!

go out and buy something nice for yourself.

amidaiwish · 03/12/2007 19:20

but it's a bit of a mixed message isn't it?

she doesn't want/need presents = fine

i will give to a charity instead of buying you all gifts = isn't that up to you to decide, or at least a conversation between you? "don't buy us gifts, we don't need anything, give £ to a charity instead"

i understand why you feel bossed about. she's setting the agenda and no one else's opinion is considered here.

fishie · 03/12/2007 19:22

yes it is not good form to say they will be giving your present to charity. she should just request that you donate YOUR gift to them.

CarmenerryChristmas · 03/12/2007 19:22

So don't give to charity for her present then

TwinklyfLightAttendant · 03/12/2007 19:24

I wish our folks were like that! Mum and Dad still insist on asking me what I want, to which I always reply that I don't need anything, socks if they have to, then I have to get them stuff, they hate the things I get them and vice versa. Such a waste of dosh no one has.
I might suggest charity thing next year but mum is a present addict so prob. no go.

amidaiwish · 03/12/2007 19:26

well why don't you just think of something they can get you? give each other some ideas? there must be something!!

Tamum · 03/12/2007 19:28

I don't think you're being an arse, it's not very, well, jolly, is it? I know it makes sense but I would feel a bit bossed about too. And not very festive. I am horrible like that.

crokky · 03/12/2007 19:29

Is she saying she is short of cash because of her wedding etc? I am assuming that pinetreedog has small DCs, in which case I think her sister should get them a little toy/stickers - kids love opening presents at Christams and one small present doesn't have to break the bank.

I think that there is no point in pinetreedog's sister giving pinetreedog a present and vice versa and also their DHs. I think that is fine, regardless if either of them chooses to give to charity.

Original poster

pinetreedog · 03/12/2007 21:42

I'm goin gto skip around tamum for a while as she said the right thing

Although fishie, I think that might be the nub of it. She's telling me she's giving my present to charity. Now, I'm not bothered about a present but telling me it's going to charity makes me feel as if I have been greedy and it's being taken away. Plus, I don't get to choose the charity. But I suppose I can choose who I give hers to.

And I have misled you, crokky. She is going to my dc little presents 'because they are children'. I feel like saying oh don't bother.

Tis not festoive

OP posts:

Whooosh · 03/12/2007 22:12

SO what's this got to do with me??

My step mother has everything n the world she could want so no present is ever truly appreciated-last year I spent way more than I ususally would on Oxfam gifts (seeds,water pumps etc) ad I felt a lot better for it and whether she did or not-it was a far better idea than spending money on stuff she didn't want or appreciate.

Original poster

pinetreedog · 03/12/2007 22:36

oh, forgot we had a whoosh.

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PeachesMcLeanEatsSprouts · 03/12/2007 22:52

Poor whooosh!

As you say though, it's the thing about choosing the charity. They'll give to one of their choice and you give to one of yours. Just seems a bit clinical to me. And yes, very bossy.

Original poster

pinetreedog · 04/12/2007 17:40

yes, she has become very bossy.

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