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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

How do you determine where you'll eat?

44 replies

Window1 · 31/08/2021 21:41

Do you alternate between each side of the family? Do you have dinner at home just immediate family or do you host others?

At what point in the year do you work out what your dinner plans are and how do you decide?

We have history of a bit of a mish mash. We've had dinner just us and last year we was with DH side. One year we hosted my side. I guess strictly speaking it's the year for us to have dinner with my side, but we don't want to host. Does that mean we wait to see if we receive an invite?

OP posts:

mafted · 10/09/2021 10:52

We never really get invited anywhere, so just make the decision whether we want to invite anyone or not.
PIL will only come if we also invite SIL, BIL1 and their families so then we end up inviting BIL2 and his family as it seem mean to leave them out. It's a lot catering for 20 though, and MIL is quite demanding with times and menu.
My Sister does every other with her in laws so on 'her year' they either all come to us or my parents go there.
We usually do a big family party on either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day

Starlight86 · 13/09/2021 11:34

For years we alternated. One year my mums and the next DH mums and on it went, it became increasingly difficult with 2 young children and then our 3rd came along.

So last year we made the decision to do Christmas day in ours with all welcome, my mum was over the moon!!

Me and DH absolutely love it, we dont need to leave our house and the kids arent rushing to get dressed to leave all their presents behind for someones house.

We now host the day and this year will have 19 people.

JudgeRindersMinder · 13/09/2021 11:38

When I saw it as my turn to host my parents/grandparents, as my parents had done it for 20+ years and I felt it was time to repay the favour.

We never had to be pulled away from our toys etc on Xmas day when we were young, and my kids had the same experience

It’s horses for courses though

Original poster

Window1 · 13/09/2021 12:55

@Starlight86

For years we alternated. One year my mums and the next DH mums and on it went, it became increasingly difficult with 2 young children and then our 3rd came along.

So last year we made the decision to do Christmas day in ours with all welcome, my mum was over the moon!!

Me and DH absolutely love it, we dont need to leave our house and the kids arent rushing to get dressed to leave all their presents behind for someones house.

We now host the day and this year will have 19 people.

Wow that's a lot but sounds like lovely family memories will be made all being together.

On a practical note, how do you cater for that many and where do they all sit?

OP posts:

QforCucumber · 13/09/2021 12:57

We host every year, both families now know this and we ask to let us know if they want to come for dinner around early Nov time.

We have done this since DS1 was born and intent to continue.

cricketmum84 · 13/09/2021 12:59

We do Christmas in our home with DH parents one year then Boxing Day with my family and then the following year switch it around.

Last year was so calm and relaxing as it was just me, DH and DC, no stress of hosting and rushing around!

This year I'm now in a wheelchair and ILs house is not wheelchair friendly and my parents live up a huge flight of stairs so I think it will just be us alone on Christmas Day again and have family visit around the big day itself!

Ozanj · 13/09/2021 13:01

My siblings can’t always do Christmas Day as they have to go to In laws. So will host everyone around it the years they can’t. DH and I will host every christmas day at ours and parents will join.

MyMabel · 13/09/2021 13:08

We have a little bit of a family tree system.

Firstly my mum is at the top of the tree.
My and my family
My brother and his family

Then we have little branch which is our grandparents. Once every few years my mum will host for my grandparents (they used to host for us as kids but haven’t done for many years now as they’re getting older)

So now once my mum has hosted my grandparents, she’ll host either me and my family, or my brother and his. The family not being hosted either have Christmas lunch at home just them, or we’ll invite my partners dad and brother round ect.

It’s all decided our end pretty early, usually be the end of august. No idea why.

Cluckycluck · 13/09/2021 13:12

We used to always alternate because DH's family and mine but now we just have mine each year. We're much closer to my family and DD would be devastated to not see them on Christmas day. We'll arrange some form of informal pre-Christmas buffet for DH's family and then see them between Christmas and New Year too.

Starlight86 · 04/10/2021 10:51

@Window1

Firstly my life saver is a hostess trolley, it keeps food hot (without cooking it further) so everything can go in that and i dont need to time everything to be ready at the same time. So generally veg and gravy and chipolatas are all done and put in there, Turkey and ham is carved by my brother. Roast potatoes are the last to be cooked and when they come out the oven we start plating up.

Prawn cocktail is made the night before and starters are plated up when we want to serve.

16lb turkey is cooked on xmas eve then wrapped and covered in tea towels ready to be carved in the morning when its still warm.

Hubby has a great dishwasher system and tends to get all the plates and cutlery in the dishwasher on a quick wash and by the time the dinner plates are ready to be cleared up the starter plates are done so the dishwasher is emptied then re stacked.

We have a open plan house so the table will be in a big L shape along the kitchen going into the hall which is still part of the kitchen if you know what i mean so everything still in the same room.

Tables are put together with random pasting tables and dining room tables and random dining room chairs brought up by my mum.

We supply wine and beers and anyone else can bring up whatever they like but i like to supply all the food so noone needs to bring up that.

We are a close family so everyone mucks in if they are needed.

Its a really relaxed day and i like to make sure we have loads of food, and everyone has a proper seat.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/10/2021 11:21

Varies according to circumstances.
Dds, SiLs and Gdcs have come here (it means staying over), and we’ve been to Dd1 with Gdcs.

Year before last we went to her, because she was very heavily pregnant and didn’t want to move far from the hospital. I took everything and cooked - I never mind the cooking.

This year I have no idea yet, but I suspect Dd with 3 little ones would prefer to stay at home. Will go along with others’ preferences. Might also have a sister from the US with us, which will make a minor complication with beds if others want to come, but we’ll manage.

FatCatThinCat · 04/10/2021 11:27

I always stay home for Christmas and anyone who wishes to is welcome to join us. Sometimes it's just us but more often than not there's a few extras. I can't be doing with all the family politics around Christmas.

Squirrelblanket · 04/10/2021 14:30

We've always just stayed home. My parents are divorced. My dad and his wife aren't fussed about Christmas. They are the sort who will proudly tell you this, like enjoying Christmas is something to be ashamed of. So we would never go there.

My husband's parents never hosted as they also didn't particularly enjoy Christmas OR hosting. They used to go to my sister in law's every year to be with the grandchildren. (They have both died now.)

My mum loves Christmas but hates hosting. (And she's not very good at it, to be blunt.) So she comes here every year now.

It's just the three of us and we really enjoy it.

Stellaris22 · 04/10/2021 14:34

We like just having the three of us (us and DD) and it's lovely and relaxed. I grew up hating the stress of the perfect family day with lots of relatives in one house.

Just do what makes you happy and relaxed, don't worry about meeting the demands and ideals of relatives.

dementedma · 04/10/2021 15:09

Always have Christmas at home or at mums. In laws dead and even when they were alive it wasnt an option.

Karleeb30 · 04/10/2021 15:12

We tend to stay home now. Both my family and in laws live within a 20 minute drive (but different directions) and we used to visit both on Christmas Day! Dinner alternated but I found it tiring and stressful therefore last year (covid affected anyway) and also the year before we stayed at home! Loved it! We see family the days leading up to Christmas or Boxing Day.

Fallhappy1 · 04/10/2021 17:20

When my DC are with me (share custody with their DF and we alternate Christmas) I have Christmas at home with DC and DP, no one gets invited over and we decline all invitations. I just prefer it to be the four of us.
When DC are with their DF I always eat with my DM and DP always eats with his DM. Because we eat at home the previous Christmas we both wanted to have it with our families the following year but I want to be with mine and DP wants to be with his so we just eat separately, it also keeps everyone happy.

Numbersarefun · 04/10/2021 17:34

At about this time, we start talking to our siblings about what’s happening. We would never leave any of our parents on their own (or anyone else for that matter) so we work out what we’re all doing so everyone has company. Apart from us living near my MIL, everyone else involves staying over. None of our parents have siblings either.

MrsAvocet · 04/10/2021 17:55

Pretty much as soon as we had our first child we decided that we would spend Christmas Day on our own at home and we've stuck to that for over 20 years now. There's plenty of other days in the Christmas/New Year period for seeing extended family. It's a nearly 3 hour drive to my in laws and when my parents were alive it was similar to them. I wantrd my children to be able to wake up in their own beds and enjoy a relaxed day, not to spend half the day on the motorway. I'm glad we made that decision and said it was non negotiable as otherwise once my parents had died I think I would have been emotionally blackmailed into spending every Christmas Day at my in laws. As it is they accepted our reasoning that it was disruptive for young children without much argument as the time and as it is now the norm that they dont see us on the day they haven't brought it up again. I dont mind going on Boxing Day, New Year's Day or whatever but I like Christmas Eve and Day at home, with our own traditions, and my own cooking.

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