Homemade Christmas presents

[Number109]

Does anyone make their own gifts? How well received are they generally?

My girls are back at school soon and I plan to go back to batch cooking and wondered if I could add a bit of gift making in at the same time - some jam or fudge would be able to be stored for a few weeks I would think.

I can also sew so contemplating infinity scarves and those make up bags with a drawstring that open out to lie flat.

Ahhhh you see you can't do that, because that's obviously criticising:

Here, have some vanilla to put in your homemade fudge, it clearly needs it.

If they've made it for just me. It's slightly different. Something has obviously stuck in their mind that I love fudge and they've gone to effort. When they've batch made it and dished it out, then it's just careless and all about them. You wouldn't go out and buy the same generic bath set (Baylis and Harding I'm looking at you!) and give it to every member of your family.

Just because you made the fudge, doesn't make it better.

The one size fits all is what large corporations do, all employees get a hot chocolate hamper because it'll do for everyone. Impersonal. Suits them.

You’re not the awful person. What is awful is the idea that you should be grateful for someone’s naff pet project which they’ve ‘made with love’ to avoid parting with cash for a proper thoughtful gift.

You're assuming making something yourself is cheap - it's not. It's often more expensive.

What these threads show is that gifts should be something the recipient likes or appreciates.

I mostly buy what I want so if someone makes me a gift I'm appreciative because I'm fortunate that I've pretty much got everything I want.

I hadn’t thought it might be taken as a criticism! More like fudge aunt likes making fudge so support that hobby. It’s better to give than to receive and all that so she probably gets pleasure from making the stuff.

You wouldn't go out and buy the same generic bath set (Baylis and Harding I'm looking at you!) and give it to every member of your family.

The only people I’ve known to do this have been retail and hospitality workers who by Christmas haven’t sat down in 3 months and are sick of the whole thing - and I wouldn’t blame them!

It’s the ‘gift’ was of it that causes me the issue. Like, the whole thing was 90% about the giver.

And almost all crafts are awful. Terrible.

Gift giving is a minefield. Every single Boxing Day on MN I see people bemoaning the fact that their 'thoughtful' and 'carefully chosen' gifts have not been well received and they received in return something cheap and/or inappropriate and/or impersonal. I always wonder what the gifts concerned were. It's so difficult to second guess what another person would like if you don't go for one of the super obvious things, like chocolates or a bottle of booze or a gift set of toiletries (or even if you do).

Hard to believe that 'almost all crafts are terrible'. We have a very skilful friend who is good at sewing and crochet. I've seen things she produces and they're lovely. People who are good at knitting can produce beautiful things.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g I'd agree with that gifting really is a nightmare.

I hate buying for adults. It sucks the joy out of Christmas, really glad to have stopped buying BiL, SiL etc. It's so hard to even come up with ideas for PIL, DH & my own parents.
Back in the day it was slightly easier to buy someone a DVD or CD as a small gift but everyone's gone digital .

Buy wine or champagne or Jo Malone candles if the budget allows

Buy flowers, house plants, bar of artisan chocolate, or soap if it cash more restricted

If all else fails buy a book with a nice spine or a box of biscuits with a nice tin.

All much nicer than whatever you were planning to make. Sorry.

I have friends who have asked for cuttings from my garden over the years. I have sometimes taken cuttings, grown the plants on to a decent size and then potted them up. I've grown a beautiful pink climbing rose for one of my friends this year, but she has specifically asked for it.

I have a sister who makes fabulous boxes of petit fours that I'm always delighted to receive.

It depends.

@Number109

Sounds like a resounding no then!

I’ll save my time and stick to generic shop bought.

I think your homemade gifts would be lovely, I would be absolutely delighted if a friend took the time to make something for me.

@PersonaNonGarter

Buy wine or champagne or Jo Malone candles if the budget allows

Buy flowers, house plants, bar of artisan chocolate, or soap if it cash more restricted

If all else fails buy a book with a nice spine or a box of biscuits with a nice tin.

All much nicer than whatever you were planning to make. Sorry.

I may be the only person left in Britain who doesn't like scented candles, so that would be a wasted present for me.

Book with a nice spine? How odd. A well chosen book is a good present, but it's the contents I'd be interested in.

@CatOfTheLand

In theory, I love homemade gifts. My Nan used to make blankets, jam, chutney etc. My aunts do cards and decorations. We've got a wonderful neighbour who makes pickled onions. These gifts were a joy to open,

In reality, homemade gifts are often awful though 🙈

I've got other people who I love who send things that we wouldn't have wanted (knitted hair bands with giant flowers, loo roll covers, giant pictures etc) from a shop - badly done or HUGE quantities of them - like the year we got TEN tissue box covers for our two year old dd and a carrier bag of fudge.

The gift then is more about what they wanted to make in their spare time than what we would have actually liked.

It made me feel a bit sick at how much time and effort went into these things that we really didn't like.

’sick’ ?

Give over

I don't want homemade gifts or generic Boots 3 for 2 gifts. I don't need " stuff" at 61 especially scarves and shit photo frames.
Dh and dcs give thoughtful gifts because they've listened to me all year and know what I like. Or they ask me 😀

just seems like a "I wanted to make this, so this is your present" which is not what a thoughtful gift is about. And it doesn't make someone high maintenance because they feel a bit off about a food gift that they have no idea what it contains, the conditions it's been made under and how long it's been stored before they've received it.

I agree with this. I think part of the problem is it's too hit and miss so difficult to get right. In general I like consumable gifts but one year a friend made homemade sloe gin and fudge and gave them to me for Christmas, I don't like either and felt very guilty as I know they'd put time and effort into it. I enjoyed crochet as a hobby but I wouldn't gift anyone a scarf or a blanket unless they specifically asked me for one because it takes so much time I'd be upset if they didn't like it.

I can't believe the "friend" that burst into tears when given the cross stitch though. Incredibly rude and she sounds like a petulant child.

@LocalHobo

Years ago I did a cross stitch for my friends 40th. You know the sort of thing, events that happened during her birth year, depiction of her house and pets. It took me a very long time and those who saw it seemed genuinely impressed. When she opened it she burst into tears. Initially I thought she was overwhelmed with my effort but she immediately said it made her think of a jumble sale and she had hoped for theatre tickets. I learnt my lesson, tastes vary and I obviously had not known my mate as well as I thought. I wonder what she did with it - I can imagine it got chucked.

Bloody hell, what a rude friend. She should have accepted it with grace and a smile no matter what she thought.

I'm a professional artist so know just how much effort goes into making individual items, and therefore only make them for people I know will truly want and love them.

I’ll save my time and stick to generic shop bought

No!! That's the whole point. No to the "you all get generic fudge churned out of my kitchen" and no to "you all get whatever generic stuff I find in Boots on offer". One is because you want to make it and hand it out, the other is lazy gifting too. Gift something for the person you're actually gifting too! Put some personalised thought in to them.

It sounds really rude, but it's so good to get it off your chest, we don't want thoughtless toot! Homemade or other. I'd rather not have anything than receive something that's a complete waste.

I quite like a boots 3 for 2 smelly set. Soap and glory or sanctuary stuff is always nice.

I wouldn't mind consumables like my friend's tablet is amazing. However I have just married into a family that crafts and I'm sorry but no thought into the recipient goes into it. It's clearly things they want to do. Like they've known me for 10 years they know my style and yet I get "knicknacks" which is not my vibe at all and now I need to find somewhere to store them. They've essentially gifted me a chore. I feel more like I'm being used to give them an excuse to make something and off load it on me. I would have preferred a box of £1 malteasers.

I really don’t like homemade gifts although I’m always polite when I receive them!
I know they’ve taken a lot of time and love but they always seem a bit crap compared to a shop bought version. Embroidered things, fudge, chutney, chocolates, candles, hand creams…… the list goes on. I feel guilty writing it but it’s true!

The exception are my MiL’s knitted hats and scarves which are fabulous!

I’d rather a generic bottle of wine or smellies set than a generic homemade jam or cross stitch in a frame!

Honestly I'd take a three for two generic smelly set from Boots over some of the "personal" presents my in laws have bought me. I'm not wishing to sound ungrateful but I feel guilty when they choose me clothing and nightwear from their local craft fair that I'll never wear and is often the wrong size.

I also love my mum's homemade fudge, which is fought over in my household.