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Original poster

How do I make it fair?

9 replies

LoveMyGirls · 01/12/2007 14:30

I have 2 dd's dd1 has asked for something that is £45 whereas dd2 who is only 2 hasn't asked for anything but I have brought her lots of jigsaws and cheaper stuff but now when they come down on christmas morning i'm worried dd1 will see dd2's pile and be upset because her pile is nowhere near as big (obviously because one of her presents has cost the same as about 10 of dd2's)

Dd1 is 8 so should understand but the last thing I want is her in tears on the day, are tears unavoidable?!

OP posts:
LuckySalem · 01/12/2007 14:39

Can you get some really cheap stuff from the pound shop? So that it looks around the same when they open them?

Original poster
LoveMyGirls · 01/12/2007 14:43

I've already brought alot of stuff from the £1 shop. Dd1 has got more stocking stuff than dd2 so perhaps I could leave it out of the stocking and put it in her pile.

They have had about the same amount of money spent on them which is already much more than I was going to spend.

I'll have a look this week and see about spending another £5-£10 on dd1 thought it will mean money wise she will have had more than dd2 which i feel bad about though i guess dd2 will be having all these thigns passed on so thats good i guess.

OP posts:
roisin · 01/12/2007 14:44

My boys are very close in age (22 months) but often have different sizes of piles of presents, different sorts of presents, different amount of money spent on them.

This 'inequality' occurs at other times in the year too.

It isn't about favouritism, it's about buying/doing what is appropriate for them at the time.

I refused to be shackled with the idea that because ds1 got x ds2 must have an equal and equivalent y.

We've always worked without the principle of being 'fair', and the boys completely accept it and we have never had problems at any age. (They are 8 and 10 now).

I would expect an 8 yr-old dd to realise and accept that a toddler's presents will be very different in many ways.

FrostyGlassSlipper · 01/12/2007 14:45

Stick with what you have. DD is getting what she asked for. She will be happy with that

Original poster
LoveMyGirls · 01/12/2007 14:48

Actually if i push all their stuff together they won't realise who's who's until they have opened it all so she may not notice if she's got the big pressie she asked for!

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveMyGirls · 01/12/2007 14:51

Thanks everyone, I was brought up with us all having the same even if it wasn't always appropriate whereas dp's family have always brought what their children have needed/ wanted (if they could) without worrying if the others had more or not. I just don't want my dd thinking I'm not being fair when they have had the same money spent on them.

OP posts:
Leslaki · 01/12/2007 15:11

You could also wrap up a couple of jigsaws together to reduce dds big pile!

Littlefish · 01/12/2007 15:14

I agree with the Roisin. They don't need to have the same number of presents, or amount of money spent on them. At 8, your dd is old enough to understand that some things cost more than others.

Why whould your dd think you're not being fair? It sounds to me like you're worried about being fair, and this may be rubbing off on your dd.

roisin · 01/12/2007 15:51

As a child relatives frequently gave me identical presents to my cousin and/or my sisters (3 & 4 yrs younger). It used to annoy the hell out of me, as largely they were presents which appealed to them but not to me at all.

So consequently I'm no fan at all of this kind of 'justice'.

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