What gifts to your tween/teen dc give?

[thelegohooverer]

We have some generous relatives and the dc have always made craft/baking gifts in return. But they’re tweens now and a bit past cute crafts, and I’m fed up of the hassle of extra Christmas baking.

I know on these threads, the received wisdom is that homemade food gifts are binned, but in our family they’re usually ripped open on the spot and devoured.

I’m stuck for how to move this on. I wanted the dc to have the experience of giving, as well as receiving, and the effort that they put in to making gifts was more meaningful than just picking a gift and me paying for it.

But it’s been a lot of work on my part, and I want to cut back. They’re old enough to manage quite well by themselves, but still need supervision to clean up completely, and Christmas isn’t a great time of year to have the kitchen taken over for a couple of hours. And I just don’t want to do it anymore.

We could buy token gifts. The dc are supposed to save part of their pocket money for gifts, but it’s tricky to know how much to spend. I think I’d have to subsidise their gift budget and then it’s not really from them. And more (probably pointless tat) gifts isn’t a direction I want to be moving in.

The irony is that I’d much prefer if these relatives would cut back on the huge presents but they won’t even consider that.

I’m curious to know what happens in other families or if your teens/tweens give gifts?

I wouldn't expect a gift from a teen/tween.

Just a nice thank you either said or in note form.

If you want to keep up the idea of Christmas being about giving as well as receiving they could use the money they've saved to buy some things for a food bank or donate to a charity of their choice.

11 yo DD makes 'useful' gifts that dont necessarily matter of they're, umm, not very stylish. Keyrings for example or fridge magnets. She makes things out of Fimo (watches YouTube for tutorials). It involves minimum input from me and people seem to pretend to be delighted when they recieve them.

Mine have never given gifts except to very close mates or their siblings and parents (us!)

God I sound awful, she's actually really good at making things now and most of her gifts are genuinely appreciated.

That or homemade cards with a nice drawing on.

We do do a slightly sickening middle class thing of putting together a box for the food bank which they look forward to doing

Could they move towards something that doesn't need to be done so close to Christmas? Flavoured olive oil, or making candles etc? It obviously still entails your effort, but at least not during the busiest time.
Or maybe they could make a family video, or design a family Christmas card that you/they can have printed?

Thanks for sharing. It’s lovely to hear what other families do and it’s helping me think it through.

I think one of the reasons I settled on baking is that it sort of disguised the differences between my dc. If we did cards, dd’s would be a beautiful work of calligraphy and ds’ would be a messy scrawl. She would put a load of effort into crafts (I bet your dd’s are lovely @LaChatte) and ds wouldn’t get round to doing his. There are SN involved, but the gps are neither subtle nor enlightened in their comments.

DS’ idea of a homemade gift can be a bit random- last month he made a birthday party for his gm in minecraft which took him ages and was quite clever, but she was completely bewildered by it.

Making something before it gets busy might be a better option. We already do something for the foodbank and a toy drive so they wouldn’t seem like an alternative iyswim. I like the homemade card too.

I wish I had given this a bit more thought years ago

Or why not get them to paint a plant pot as a Oct half term activity. Then put some Christmas-flowering seeds in ready to gift.

Or make a Christmas bauble.

Or my DD loves sewing so made some cushions with fat quarters we bought quite cheaply.

@thelegohooverer how old are your DC’s?

BBC good food white choc chip fudge recipe is easy and can be kept in an airtight container for upto 8 weeks. You can vary the chocolate and add toppings if you wish.

I wouldn’t give homemade to randoms but my siblings, parents and in-laws love a homemade treat. DD makes this recipe with mini eggs etc as Easter gifts and cooks it 4 weeks before stores in a clip Tupperware tub with layers of baking paper. Sends out in cellophane bags tied with ribbon and a tag saying what it is and BBF date.

I know it’s still kitchen madness but could be end of November before the decorations go up in December.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/white-chocolate-chip-fudge