When did you tell?

[Jumpingintosummer]

DD almost ten has started to ask questions about FC. A child in her class laughted at her for believing .

told all of mine in the summer holidays before they started year 7 xx too many bullies in big school unfortunately x

@bg21 I would love just one more year. DD is going into the equivalent of year 5.

We never did the Santa thing so they didn’t need told. But I’d say most of my sons friends know now and are 8/9. Tennis quite old tbh. Isn’t this more about you than her now?

Perhaps it is more for DH and I but DD still appears genuinely overjoyed when the tooth fairy leaves a treat. Last Christmas she was in her element.

[quote Jumpingintosummer]@bg21 I would love just one more year. DD is going into the equivalent of year 5.[/quote]
mine believed all the up to just before yr 7 wanted the magic to last as long as possible x do you have younger children ?

If she's asking questions it's time to tell her.

Mine asked around 7/8 and I told him.
He doesn't believe in the tooth fairy either, but still gets gifts from her. I think 10 is probably a little late and time to tell her.

My kids are in their 30s and me and DH are still adamant about Santa. They think it's hilarious.

I never get this crushing spirit thing, unless your kid is increadibly stupid then by their preteens they know its not factually real that doesnt mean they cant enjoy it.

Just let them, if they are the type prone to liking fantasy they are likely to get 'bullied' anyway.

I know fully grown adults in their 30s adults that still love Harry Potter, Dragons, RPGs, Star wars and all sorts of other things they KNOW its not real but they enjoy pretending still.

My DS came home around 8 year old and declared Santa wasnt real, by 9 year old he was right back into it because it was boring to 'not believe' (obviously he knows but fantasy exists for fun) several of his friends where the same, if anything they got MORE into after knowing its not real (over compensation of fun maybe?).

DD was probably about the same age @ year 5 at school. I'm pretty sure I was the same over 30 years earlier. Definitely before high school to avoid teasing.

@mam0918

I never get this crushing spirit thing, unless your kid is increadibly stupid then by their preteens they know its not factually real that doesnt mean they cant enjoy it.

Just let them, if they are the type prone to liking fantasy they are likely to get 'bullied' anyway.

I know fully grown adults in their 30s adults that still love Harry Potter, Dragons, RPGs, Star wars and all sorts of other things they KNOW its not real but they enjoy pretending still.

My DS came home around 8 year old and declared Santa wasnt real, by 9 year old he was right back into it because it was boring to 'not believe' (obviously he knows but fantasy exists for fun) several of his friends where the same, if anything they got MORE into after knowing its not real (over compensation of fun maybe?).

She’s absolutely not like that, just a normal little girl. Will speak to DH.

Ds(9) keeps questioning me at the moment but only ever when ds(5) is also there. I just keep up the pretence and let them figure it out for themselves. I never say anything until they simply say I know it’s you mum.

Oh and with ds1 will still let him believe in yr7. Obviously his friends told him otherwise but I wouldn’t let on and even late on Christmas Eve when he walked into the bedroom and saw all the Santa sacks I still tried to BS saying Santa had dropped them off early and asked us to put them out. I don’t think it crushed his Christmas spirit at all.

My dd1 was coming up to 9 when she told me in very matter of fact tones, that she knew FC was me and daddy, so I might as well admit it.

So I did, while warning her to not dare say a word to dd2 (6) or any other children who might still believe.

Only years later, when she was maybe early 20s, did she tell me she’d been dying for me to deny it, so she could go on believing a little longer.
So I really wished I had.

My daughter is almost 10 too and questioned it a few weeks ago she's been a bit suspicious for around 2 years now but this is the first time she's asked outright. I told her he was real and instantly regretted it I think I was wrong not to just be honest. I won't bring it up but if she asks again I'm probably going to tell her the truth.

Early on, much earlier than year 5. We only ever used the story of Santa as the delivery person though and they quickly figured out he couldn’t deliver everything everywhere in one night.
I wanted them to know people who cared about them bought the gifts and that they cost money so if they got more/less than friends then that was why.

Ds(8) asked a LOT of questions about the Easter Bunny this year. When Dh cracked slightly ds burst into tears and said "I didn't want you to actually say it!" On Easter Sunday the bunny left an egg hunt and he was 100% into it like nothing had happened!

Ds11 has been questioning Santa for couple of years. I just tell him that he can believe him if he wants. He is going to year 7 now and I am not sure what he exactly believes but I am not telling him. Dd9 still believes and we hope ds doesn't ruin it for her.

Hoping to get one more Christmas out of Santa for DD who turns 11 just before Christmas. Mainly because there’s no way she’ll not use it to upset her younger sister at some point.

I've never told my 12 year old. I know she no longer believes but neither of us have ever acknowledged it.
Last year we still left out milk, a mince pie and a carrot which I ate/drank and left crumbs before I went to bed. I also left her stocking on her bed after she'd fallen asleep.
I think it's not really about the 'knowing', but rather keeping the fun and magic alive.
She's was probably questioning around year 5, very doubtful in year 6 and absolutely knew last Christmas

Are you sure she really believes? I have a 10yo who I am sure knows full well that santa isn't real, but she enjoys the "game" of it.

She has never asked directly, but when the topic comes up I just say "Some people think he is real and some don't."

She believes on christmas eve because she wants to believe! But she is also socially astute enough that I don't expect her to be shouting about it in a group of non-believing peers.

If she asks a question, just tell her the truth. If you try to trick her or convince her she might feel stupid when she finds out the truth.

The only thing I said to ds was that Santa only brings presents to little kids up to primary school age. When ds got to high school he said to me he didn't want anything left from santa because he is too old now. So I suggested that I could fill his stocking for him because he loves his stocking.

I think ds has always played along for my benefit. I don't know when he knew because he has never told me.