How to rein it in a bit this year (and not disappoint dd)

[Piplette]

My eldest dd will be 7 just before Christmas. Her sister turns 2 around the same time so all the gift giving is compressed 🙄.

For a variety of reasons (generous family, me not being able to stick to a budget) my eldest has so much stuff - too much to play with. This includes barbies, sylvanian families, lol dolls, rainbow corns, polly pocket. She also has a tablet, nintendo ds, vtech watch & camera, scooter, bike, roller skates.

I really want to cut back this year as it's ridiculous but I'm wondering how to do this in a way that dd doesn't feel disappointed (again ridiculous but it's my fault for setting expectations). It's not even about the cost although that's one factor it's more that I want to get her fewer things that she'll appreciate. She hates getting clothes as presents - she's not really fussed with them and would live in pjs.

Is there a subtle way to do this or to I just need to bite the bullet?

I appreciate how spoiled she has been until now hence I want to fix it.

Has anyone else done this or have any tips?

Op one thing to watch out for with a big gap is hanging on to stuff for the younger child.
I often feel I have stuff that big one has outgrown but younger is too small for. It might be worthwhile sorting and storing the in-between stuff in the loft or high up in a cupboard until LO is ready for it.

Since covid, I’ve focussed more on craft stuff. My dd is 7 too. Last year she got really good sets of pens and pencils, felt tips, a huge case to store them. I also bought art sets and lots of things to do. I didn’t feel like anything got wasted really as she did them all over the months that followed especially when we had another lockdown.
I like this site

www.crafts4kids.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0-jCqs6K8gIVysLtCh0FTAPmEAMYASAAEgKqD_D_BwE

Mine is also accepting of clothes as gifts as
long as they are ‘special’ like flip sequin t shirts etc

The years that we get a bit overwhelmed I get the kids quite a few 'doing' presents like making bracelets, crafts, baking. That way you use them up, they get made or eaten etc and then a couple of new toys to go with things they already have, a new barbie or sylvanian family set for example.

In our house santa lists get done early, I tell my DDs (9, 7 & 4) that there is a cut off and the earlier they get their lists in the better. This gives me a chance to save and source presents. After the cut off 30 Sept they can’t change their lists. They are also told no more than 3 gifts but can have 2 back ups in case sant can’t get what’s on their main list. They obviously get a lot more but the older 2 are old enough to understand now that these come from us and family.

My 9yo has already done hers and posted it. Thankfully she finally told me what was on it, a switch and a poppet.

I also used covid last year. I told them that like everyone else in the world santa and his elf’s went into lockdown and some got sick and had to isolate so they weren’t able to make as many toys as usual.

I also try and make everything look far bigger and better than it is, I buy lots of cheap toys in bargain bins, last Lear almost all of my 3yos gifts were from bargain bins, Princess dolls for 50p because the box was smashed in etc..she didn’t care. My older 2 always get notebooks and fancy pens and bits from places like poundland and or home bargains, I pick up lots in charity shops too. The last 2 years my 7yos favourite gifts have been charity shop purchases, she has had no idea, all she knows is she got exactly what she asked for. I also keep nice boxes throughout the year to use and get creative with gifts. I had a box last year, I can’t even think what was in it but it was gold with a plastic sleeve, it was perfect to put cheap bits in and make it look like one nice big present, I put sone lego grab bags in it with a Lego themed notebook and pen, using some used tissue paper to sit it on making it look fancy and expensive and most importantly bigger than what it was.

One thing I’m considering this year (been thinking about it for a few years) is a giant box, wrapped or decorated really cool and fill it with tissue paper or something else and have the DDs go hunting for gifts inside it. Or do the Russian doll experience, smaller box in a bigger box…

@WhatsMyNameGonnaBeNow

Mine are older now, 11.5 and just turned 10 so we’re past the hoards of toys age but when they were younger I used to do a clear out in September of toys they’d outgrown or just weren’t interested in anymore.

We’ve never been a one or two gifts only household, it’s just not how we do Xmas but we also tried to think outside the box a bit and not just buy a pile of toys. So cute things for their bedrooms like a throw with their favourite animal, cuddly cushions, maybe an unusual lamp, bookends, wall decals, bean bag chair, decorative lights, even toy storage or shelves over the years. They got toys too of course but they loved their functional but still nice stuff just as much.

Also books, board games, art and crafts supplies, pjs, onesies, dressing gown, stuff for their sports or hobbies, their own suitcase (if a trip was coming up).

Agree with this. Last year I got my then 8 yo a reindeer themed blanket/wrap & a dancing reindeer (she’s obsessed with Rudolph) the year before was a fluffy blanket to snuggle in her favourite colour. I’ve also done things like posters and decals.

I’m looking at getting some signed framed pictures of ebay for my 7yo, she loves Hermione from Harry Potter and also really got into Star Wars this year so possibly a Princess Leia picture. I’m even considering a cardboard cutout 🤔

This year one of the gifts I’ve already got are grinch themed cushions and Zamfam nighties.

Other ideas I’m looking at are things like tick tok hoodies or other clothes or things they can wear & use with their favourite YouTube characters on.

@goldpendant

Experience gift? At 7/8 I'd have thought she'd really appreciate tickets to a show with you and a kid friendly dinner, somewhere/something special?

I do really like this idea but I think she is still at the age where she wouldn't fully appreciate the value of this - value is very much measured in size and quantity unfortunately!

Having lots of presents doesn’t necessarily mean a spoilt child . I also hate that 4 present rhyme , neither of mine were interested in getting clothing and why would a small child want ‘something they need’ for Christmas . If you buy your child something she really wants and a few more nice gifts I’m sure she will be more than happy .

Thanks for all the other suggestions.

Pre Christmas toy clear out is a definite although as someone mentioned, I'll really just be putting it all into the loft for when dd2 is older.

I love the 4 gifts rule but have never managed to stick to it and I do feel if I did it this year dd would feel hard done by so aiming for middle ground.

The point about then getting overwhelmed with it all is absolutely true though so really keen to avoid this.

I do try to make christmas more about activities - we decorate the tree (which we go and tag in early December then go back and cut down ourselves), we go to the Panto and the local Carol singing concert (pre covid obs).

I definitely like the idea of more use able things - santa brought her a school bag last year which went down well so maybe more of that - I have crafts coming out of my ears - paints, clay, jewellery making kits - she's only occasionally interested at home although seems keen at school so perhaps I just need to encourage her more!

Thank you again for the ideas and lack of judgement 😊

Not sure how everyone else does things but here Santa fills up a sack - this has the usual stocking stuff and the 1 gift they ask him for (up to £50 as he has lots of children to buy for so can't be greedy!) We switched to a sack as its easier to find cheap gifts to fit than a stocking. This is opened as soon as they wake up. It will usually contain something crafty, card game, book etc. We then get ready, put dinner on. People might pop in for a tea etc.

Then after we are all ready and dinner is on the girls go upstairs for 20 mins and me and dh get their gifts from us out. This is the main bulk and where we spend the most money. So easiest way to cut back for us and where we are going to this year. We usually go crazy but are only going to get a few bits. Also we can explain it, we are saving for days out next year which we wouldn't usually plan.

Like other posters we give useful gifts, so new school backpack, lunchbox, pencil case is all Christmas gifts never replaced in September. Bedding set and fleece blanket of current interests, new pjs, dressing gown, slippers. Often theirs are on their last legs by December 😂

I also wrap small gifts in wrapped up packing boxes to make them appear fancier. So dd needed some new clothes i made a mystery box and wrapped all the tops and leggings individually in a big box. Dd2 I got her some barbie dolls clothes so I got a big box, filled with packing beans (kept from a delivery) and hid the clothes inside. The key is to make the small gifts that compliment what they already have seem more exciting than they are! I try to add to what they have rather than start new collections of stuff.

Another idea you say its family that spoil them too, would they be up for giving an experience gift and a token gift to open? Eg clubbing together for an annual pass to soft play or taking them out for a special day out in December. Then a small thing like a cuddly toy or small doll to open on the day? Christmas is a time where they often see lots of people on the same day with lots of gifts so if you can cut back there that will stop alot coming into the house? My mum pays for a day out for us all over December then gives a £5-10 gift for each dd on the day. They love the time spent with nanny and thats what they remember.

Or cut back on their birthday, maybe a few small gifts (in big boxes 🤪). Then save the rest of what you would usually spend for the following summer to buy new garden toy or a few bits they might need.

Kids that age have no idea of the relative cost of things so don't buy expensive toys. They will be just as thrilled with colouring pencils/bubbles/jigsaws/board games as something branded and expensive. They also have short memories. She won't be sitting there thinking 'last year I had 10 presents and this year there are only 7'. The only person making those comparisons will be you.

Make everything special with fairy lights and photos and lovely food and cuddles and family time. Give a few really well chosen presents and don't get hung up on them having a high monetary value. Look back on your own childhood. You will only remember a very few treasured gifts and I bet they won't be the expensive things! Kids remember wonderful surprises and fun with their family, not stuff.

Thank you for starting this thread!

I’m in the same position. The kids have far too much stuff and I want to rein it in before they get older and want iPads or whatever is the in thing by then. And my oldest has found it quite overwhelming in the past.

And don’t want to have to get rid of lots of toys just to make space for new. I want to stick to a list this year and also think really carefully about what I buy. Just have to get family on board with this idea, especially grandparents! I have been “refining” what I buy each year but grandparents like buying big stuff!!

I’m a bit late to this thread, but wanted to contribute my genius idea of a few years back. I spent a few months saving all the large plain brown boxes we get at work, carefully flattened them and stored them under our bed. I also managed to get hold of some large flat sheets of cardboard. I made a giant bow to go around them and wrapped some sharpies and coloured Duck Tape. My DC (8 and 10 that year) spent a very happy few days regressing to toddlerhood and building box forts with it all.

A number of years before that they got a big box full of helium balloons. I now realise helium is a scarce resource, so air filled might have been a better choice. It would also have made them easier to play with!

Toys for the garden (if you have one) are another good choice. They tend to come in big boxes, are reduced out of season and are typically things you would have spent money on in the summer anyway. Things like swingball etc.