what have you found works best with inviting inl's over xmas

[bigboydiditandranaway]

When inl's asked what were we going to do about xmas(as in who will be spending xmas day with who)dh said we were going to take it in turns with them & my folks.

Due to Inl's busy social calender and dh's aunt & cousin staying with them every other year wondering if it was best to ask them over on boxing day for a yummy buffet instead.

This year we did ask them over and invited his brother & his wife, mainly because we wanted to stay at home for xmas. His cousin has said he wants to visit his mum(dh's aunty)but due to her partner she can't have him to stay as he doesn't want visitors(long story)so dh said well if his cousin wants to come too he could, but then his aunty would want to come aswell so we have said that if his aunty is coming over aswell then would they like to come over for drinks xmas am instead.

Dh says i've got nothing to worry about but i keep feeling stressed about it, his family are quite difficult anyway and dh's aunty is a bit overbearing aswell.

Dh doen't mind really what we do, it's me who really wants to spend time at home over xmas now that we have a family.

I think pil would ideally like to take dh's aunty & cousin off to their friends for xmas am drinks and cook xmas dinner between them and have bil & sil over at some stage(he works funny shifts)

Sorry this is long, what do you think?

In my experience of MIL's, boxing day doesn't count as Christmas.

Although everything you've said is perfectly logical, if you've agreed to alternate and you see them on Boxing Day one year, it will be their turn for Christmas Day the next year. Or is that just my needy MIL?

Firstly I think you should stop stressing. You will never ever find an ideal set up for acommodating everyone's preferences at Christmas.

Could you say any visitors are welcome between say 10am and Midday on christmas day and then do your boxing day buffet and also invite everyone to that? It's up to each individual then whether they want to take up either or both invitations and you still get most of christmas day and boxing day just to yourselves.

Thanks for your messages.

I will stop stressing, you're right TTTB, it is impossible to find an ideal set up to accommodate everyone.

I like the idea of visitors between 10-12 and doing the boxing day buffet, but i just can't cope with having both sets of gp's there at the same time, which they probably would be(they do get on, it's just that it's a bit overwhelming)