Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

An AIBU Christmas question.

32 replies

Haylstones · 22/11/2007 10:59

We're spending our first Christmas in our own home (family are 200 miles away and are welcome but won't be here)We're visiting them this weekend to exchange gifts and I'm wondering if I'm being mean by not allowing dd (age 3) to open hers when we visit as they won't see her on Xmas Day (as has been suggested). Part of our reasoning for not going is because we always end up travelling about and dd opens presents all over the place and we all end up knackered and cranky but I'm also 6 months pg and would like a nice relaxing day at home. She's already super excited about Xmas Day and asks almost every day how many sleeps she has left so giving her presents early would (IMO) fuel this excitement!
IS it really unreasonable to want to bring dd's presents home and wait until 25th Dec to open them? Am I mean by not letting her open some this weekend?
(FWIW, dd doesn't know this is why we're going and presents can easily be hidden from her)

OP posts:
MaureenMLovesmincepies · 22/11/2007 11:09

Oh dear, I fear youmay be slightly unreasonable! Don't your family want to see the happy, smiley, excited face of a 3 year old opening a present?

MamaG · 22/11/2007 11:11

Why don't you ask family to choose a few to open with them and you can sneak the rest h ome?

win win

Original poster
Haylstones · 22/11/2007 11:13

Yes they would love to! And I'm sure I IABU. But 4 weeks before Christmas (and not even December yet) seems a bit early! She's only 3 and still thinks Santa Claus is responsible for most presents- I don't want her waking up on Xmas Day with only a few from us! Normally we say that he's visited our relatives houses and left some there for her too- even she won't believe that he made a special visit 4 weeks in advance...

OP posts:
Original poster
Haylstones · 22/11/2007 11:14

i suspect I'm being stubborn .

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 22/11/2007 11:18

We have allowed ONE present to be opened in front of family.

Last year we brought Christmas forward a day so my sister could see them opening gifts (family buys most of their presents due to money issues - ie, they have more!) - actual Christmas day was this big deflated horribleness.

This year we have explained that Christmas should be about the children, and it is more exciting for them to get everything on the day, the proper magic etc.

They have all been fine with it.

Roobie · 22/11/2007 11:20

I don't think your being unreasonable at all. It wouldn't occur to me to open presents before Christmas just because the giver is not going to be around. None of the excitement or anticipation of Christmas morning is there. I would have thought it would be much nicer for your dd and her grandparents to save them for Christmas day and then get her to telephone them to say thank you.

Mung · 22/11/2007 11:20

I would want to save them too. It would be hard for an already excited 3 year old to understand why she can only have a few of presents.

If they were that bothered about seeing her open the presents then they would come on Christmas Day.

My in laws go away for Christmas, so they wont see DC open their presents...thats their choice (although i am secretly glad they are not coming round).

I dont think you are being stubborn.

MaureenMLovesmincepies · 22/11/2007 11:21

As long as you know you're being stubborn, you're half way there!

I do understand where you're coming from though. Thats the problem with telling them all pressie come from Father Christmas. If she knew that he only brings the ones in the sack at the bottom of her bed, it wouldn't be a problem!

Flamesparrow · 22/11/2007 11:23

Mine seem to have decided that AuntieSparrow etc buy the presents for Santa to bring

I didn't ever say anything about who brought what, but I quite like that theory

Jaynerae · 22/11/2007 11:24

I have let my LO's open presents early so that family can witness their Faces. Mum did last year and will do this year as she will be away for 3 weeks. But she only buys them 1 present each so not really a problem.
Their Godmothers buys them loads and she is never with us on Christmas day - either before or after - and as she has spent so much on them and adores them so much and loves the excitment herself - I always let them open their presents from her with her.

But this is usually with in a week either side of Christmas. Personally I agree with you that a month is a bit early. I think I would allow some to be open and some to be hidden, say 50/50?

MadamePlatypus · 22/11/2007 11:25

Christmas presents opened before Christmas Day aren't really Christmas presents IMO (unless of course you are foreign and open them on Christmas Eve ).

lemonaid · 22/11/2007 11:27

There will be so many presents on Christmas Day that I think letting her open a few early may diffuse the excitement rather than build it up further, and hence be a Good Thing.

Flamesparrow · 22/11/2007 11:32

Why would you want to diffuse the excitement? Surely that is what Christmas is for.

see, pure excitement

lemonaid · 22/11/2007 11:33

So they don't get to see her open them AND she won't even know that they are from those relations when she opens them on Christmas Day as all presents are from Santa Claus (hence not even an excited "thank you" from her on the phone)?

lemonaid · 22/11/2007 11:35

I'm not bothered about diffusing vs. fuelling the excitement for my own DC (mind you, I think DS still thinks that "Christmas" is a place, so he hasn't really got the hang of the whole thing yet), but the OP said she was afraid that letting her DD open presents early would fuel the excitement and she didn't want that. So I was just saying that I didn't think it would.

Flamesparrow · 22/11/2007 11:37

Aaaaaaah with you.

I do agree it is a bit crappy not thanking the relatives

GrapefruitMoon · 22/11/2007 11:45

We are also going to see family this weekend.... I usually bring presents back for nephews and nieces at this time of year. Last year I was a bit miffed that one nephew was given his present to open after we left - it's not as if we handed it to him and he opened it - I had left it with his mum for him to give to him on Christmas Day.

I have a feeling that mine are going to be given some presents this weekend too with the expectation that they will open them there and then... I too would prefer that they waited until Christmas but will probably go along with it - at least they are getting presents this year, not being sent money

GrapefruitMoon · 22/11/2007 11:48

Didn't notice that thing about FC bringing all the presents - don't agree with that way of doing it myself, in my house FC brings the main presents (ie what they have asked for on the letter), they also get a small present from us and presents from friends and relatives are just that...

bozza · 22/11/2007 11:55

I 100% see your point of view and agree. My family would too. My ILs would not. And I do have some issues with certain things about this. I think your best option here is to aim for a compromise. How many presents will she be getting? If they are like my family and ILs it will be lots. So I would suggest they choose one present for her to open (or one present from each person)and then you smuggle the rest back for her to open on Christmas Day.

Is there a reason why you are having the present swap so early? Could you not have managed a meetup nearer to Christmas?

Original poster
Haylstones · 22/11/2007 14:22

Just to be clear, she doesn't think FC gives all the presents- she thinks that one from each relative (i.e. main ones like my mum, sis etc) is from him -because that's what they tell her-but organised by them and the other gifts are directly from that relative so they would still get the excited thank you phone call on Xmas Day. {{disclainer- I did say that she thinks Santa Claus is responsible for most presents - he leaves the big ones in our house and the rest are form Mummy and Daddy}}
WE can't make it any closer than this weekend for various reasons- every weekend is taken up from now until Jan! Think I will have to say she can open a couple of little ones to keep the peace.
I think I'm actually a bit put out that nobody actually wanted to visit us despite us going there every year for the past 7 years and am digging my heels in- told you I was stubborn!

OP posts:
bozza · 22/11/2007 15:17

I don't blame you for being put out. But I think a couple of little ones to keep the peace is the way to go.

Miaou · 22/11/2007 15:25

Do you have a camcorder thingy? Could you offer to record her opening her pressies and send her a video? My dad often records stuff for my granny (makes several copies as she wears them out )

bozza · 22/11/2007 15:36

Good idea from miaou.

JenT · 22/11/2007 15:39

I would do the same as you, Christmas pressies are for Christmas IMO.. but then my Inlaws already think I am a wicked witch so I may as well live up to that!

lemonaid · 22/11/2007 16:40

The camcorder is a great idea (or you could do it on a mobile phone, I guess).

I think you'll need to be stubborn for a couple of years before it sinks in that they could always visit you...