Christmas lists... is it the done thing in your family?

[Othersideofthechannel]

10 years ago we all used to think of gifts we thought each other would like. You might secretly check with someone else close to the person.

Now it seems to be that we are expected to supply a list of ideas of things we would like.

Does this happen in your families?

I think it started because the grandparents started asking our advice regarding the DCs and now everyone has an email address so it's easy for lists to circulate and for people to update if they have used an idea.

It means less unwanted gifts but it also takes the surprise and therefore a little of the pleasure out of opening the gifts.

In my family (my sisters and their partners) we do exchange lists of things wewould like. This is beacuse we largely have most things we need, and as we live quite far apart, it's often difficult to know what each other already has/would like. However, we are all agreed on this idea, and don't expect that we would be given everything on a list - we make a list that gives a choice, then we don't know exactly what we are getting. Tbh, I would rather have a paperback book I really wanted, than have someone spend a lot more money on something I would never use, or already had.

Dh's family don't do this though, which makes it harder for me to try to think of things the would like, especially someone like his brother, whom I don't know very well, and dh never has any ideas of what he would like.

With ds, we get him to make alist of what he would like, andsend bits of it to relatives or friends, but only if they have asked what he would like, as we know some people would rather choose something themselves, and we respect that.

Interesting point somuchtobits.
It's actually DH's family who do this list thing and we live in the same country as them (France) and go to each others houses every few weeks so we know what the others already have and what tastes they have.
The list thing doesn't happen on my side of the family and I don't live in the same country as any of them. The one who is the most successful at choosing gifts one of my brothers who I see once every two years because he lives in the USA.

I think in my heart of hearts I agree with Broccolispears and Rhubarb which is why I started this thread.

I enjoy making the effort of choosing suitable gifts. Sometimes I have what I think is a good idea then I see the person's list and it's on there so it frustrates me that they won't know the thought I put into the gift.

I am at superwitch, "we buy what we'd like and pass it on for wrapping".

Although I was perfectly comfortable when my Mum took me clothes shopping and we'd choose something together than would be a Christmas gift for me. (But then I have shorter than average legs and it would be folly to buy me trousers without me trying them on first and she would choose a paperback or other surprise.)

We don't buy for adults anymoe as dp ad I both have big famlies, just small token gifts for mum/nanas. I buy for our nieces and nephews, no more than £10 each and always thik of smething for them allwithout aking for a list. DP and I surprise each other, and DP's two older sons, and our ds get surprises too.

My mum, sister, sil and nana always ask what ds would like as I childmind and house is over run with toys, and I appreciate their organistaion! DP's mum and dad are well renowned for buying cheap tat or not bothering at all with the kids (they are the most uninterested GPS Iknow), so i guess everyone is different.

I love xmas and enjoy doing all the setimental stuff, decorting the tree (we all go 'home' and still do my mums together too very year), kids carol services, baking and the local danish xmas church market. We are not materialistic and just enjoy the time off with our families.

sorry about that don't know whats up with my keyboard!!

dhs family like to do lists - its not something I like at all - especially when the argos catalogue number is quoted. But its his family and they've done it forever, long before I joined the family. And they included me right from the start. So this year I've decided I'm going to be more laid back about it and go with the flow.

We used to write lists when we were kids but don't now - Me & DH let each other know what we would like and sometimes family will phone and ask what I would like (and I always go completely blank!).

I find the whole list thing a bit tricky and hated circulating a wedding list but then again I have a loft full of unwanted kitchen gadgets so perhaps a list is the way to go!