This may be long, so go make a cuppa and come back with help....
Right.
My parents divorced years ago, my mum's dad died last Christmas, so this year my gran is staying with my mum - probably arriving on the Saturday.
My sister (her and her boyfriend, no children) lives in London, is coming home for the Sunday/Monday, going back late on Monday to spend Xmas day with his mum.
DH has just Xmas day and boxing day off
We are doing the main meal etc just us at our house, then seeing my mum for tea on Xmas day. We normally go to Psychomum's on Boxing Day and all the children get to play.
My sister wants to see the children, my dad, my mum etc....
My mum is frantic with the idea of caring for her mum, my sister wanting food etc, fitting it all in, possibly having driven Cornwall to Bournemouth on the Saturday.
My mum's suggestion:
Things are amicable enough with my dad, his partner - go out for a huge family meal with everyone on the Sunday - no-one cooks, everyone sees each other etc. She can see me n the kids on the Monday too, do a couple of small presents (I don't want them opening the main presents the day before this year, last year was weird), all happy.
I'm fine with that, and will do a Christmas with my dad and the children probably the next Saturday/Friday afternoon (when DH is off work again)
My sister doesn't like the sound of that. I don't know if it is that she doesn't like mixing my mum and dad, if she wants my mum to cook, if she wants to do some gift giving thing with my dad or what (the latter unlikely because she normally takes presents home again).
DH likes the sound of it - he is all for inviting his dad too to kill all the many birds
Right - that is the issue... the options I can see are:
Tell my sister that is what is happening and let her sulk.
Offer to do a meal round here (on our 3 dining chairs, we might have to swipe some of mum's...) for my sister & her DP on the Sunday, invite my dad round a bit after so they can do some bonding thing then.
Talk to my dad and see if he can do a meal at his place for my sister (and if they want us too) - but that is putting work on my dad's DP who has enough on her plate as she will probably have both daughters and grandchildren over on the Xmas day.
Any other suggestions that I can't think of??
I don't want my mum to have to cook at all for my sister - eat out one day, takeaway another. My mum is going to be stressed enough with my gran and it being the first proper Xmas without grandad (last year he had gone but it was this weird limbo numb thing).
If you got to the end of this - hurrah!
I will talk to my sister a bit later and see what it is she doesn't like about the original idea (not that anyone has mentioned it to my dad yet )