When you have 'hosted' Christmas day for 25 years on the trot, how can you keep the 'magic'?

[lilibet]

I first cooked Christmas dinner in 1983, so this is my 25th year.

Fed up with it, really, really fed up with it.

For various reasons, (81 year old mother, no brother or sisters, not much money, 3 children) we can't go out, no one else will invite us and so I am stuck with doing it for the foreseeable future.

Our routine is this:-

get up, children open stockings on our bed, go downstairs, open presents, nice easy breakfast (croissants), go and get mum, go to church, have sandwiches for lunch, relaxed afternoon, bung the turkey in (dh and I are veggie!!), other guests arrive (we have 12 this year) sort out the rest of the meal, sit down to eat at 6, traditional meal, a small 'table' gift for everyone between pudding and main, always two puddinsg, a Christmas pudding for the effect of carrying it in alight and a chocolate one for the ds's and anyone else who doesn't like Christmas pud.

Same pattern with varying guests, year in year out, for 25 bloody years!!!!!

I can't say it's hard work because it isn't, dh and dd share the cooking with me, mum sets the table (and brings the crackers) it's jsut all so bloody routine and boring!

Gosh, sounds alright to me, can i come then

And b y the way, bet the pther guests adore coming to you for christmas, you must be a great hostess, but i know you are fed up. Maybe hint to one of the guests that you would like a change this year and would they like to host

do it naked this year

it does sound like you make it a lovely relaxing xmas day but understand you must be fed up by now!! why will no-one invite you? maybe try saying im not doing xmas lunch this year and see what happens?? i always find it much easier to go to other peoples than do it myself so maybe they are just taking the easy option and leaving it to you each year ?

But for children (usually) the magic comes from having a family tradition and keeping to it! I bet your 3 would be stricken if the stockings-on-the-bed or the dinner or table presents were to be varied!

What would add some magic for you?

Get the combined creativity of MN to come up with the script for a 10 min family panto to be performed (scripts in hand) straight after dinner....have some secret games with your DH - bets on who will be the first to ask when dinner id ready / moan about a present / eat too much / drink too much / say some stock phrase that they always come out with (my brother, sister and i have bets on what imaginary fault my mother will accuse the turkey of...too dry, damp, funny shape, funny smell, etc etc - there's always something) and have a secret scoring system between you. Divide the guests into groups and get them to have a carol karaoke comeptition, or anything to introduce a new layer to tradition.

Remember...you are creating magic for your children, however routine it feels to you.

I did ask the children what their ideal day woudl be, dd, 19 and ds2 11 wnated it exactly as it was. Ds1, 14, wants to get up, open his presents and then go back to bed with his selctions boxes!

There is no one really to ivite us - as I said, no brothers or sisters and my parents were both only children so no aunties adn unlces either!!

I can't expect mum to do it as she is 81, I think that mil thinks that she did it for long enough without doing it again - much the same as I will be once mine get married!

Would something simple like changing the timings of the day put a new spin on it for you? Could you get things organised so that dinner cooks in the morning (might be slightly tricky if you go to church, but should be do-able with a little planning) then have main meal at lunchtime. If nothing else it gets the bulk of the cooking done so you can relax more for the afternoon - perhaps then can go for nice walk or whatever?

Presumably you'll want to make things lovely for your children, but it sounds as if they are old enough to realise that Christmas Day isn't 100% about their wants?

who are 'the other guests' in your post lilibet

I think the key here is that you are the one who is fed up with it and needs a new twist on it, so what do you want??? Maybe something simple like a new centre piece, decoration, lights, different timing, have dinner at lunch time, then there's loads of time for lounging with coffee, wine and choccies and maybe a new game or book or whatever for after, then the bulk of the work is done and you can relax a little.

I like blu's ideas!

lilibet I can see how you may find it routine and boring - but honestly it sounds like a perfect christmas day to me. You don't find it too much hard work, you have lots of help, and you have a wonderful traditional family christmas day.

Some people (me included!) would love for Christmas day to be like that.

Honestly, you should be proud of what you do and the memories that you will be creating for your children.

But I agree with blu, perhaps just do a few things to relieve a bit of the boredom and make things feel a bit fresh and new.

Why open the presents in between pudding and main? Open them at the end. Or get the children to open up some christmas crackers before the day and add personalised tiny gifts for each person as a surprise at the start of the meal.

Get a different desert... or two

Find some music or christmas films that you love and mean something to you and the children and play those.

Let the children plan and make a breakfast of their choice.

Save a present for each child (something you know they'll love - but not something they were desperately expecting so as to spoil their day), and give it to them just before bed! Just when they think all the celebrations are over and that's it for another year... They won't be expecting it at all and I bet they'll love it.

Start a few new traditions... and don't beat yourself up about it all. It sounds like you host a wonderful Christmas

We have done that but for 'only' 15 years and last year was so awful (for us, not the DCs who do not have to entertain MIL constantly) that I said NO MORE. We are spending a ridiculous amount to hire a cottage and go away. It will take two cars, an immense amount of planning and we still have to have the MIL, but at least it will be something different.

We're making a list of what we're saving to try to justify it:
No real tree at home (just smaller artificial ones and I will do something 'imaginative' with the decs)
Free heating (a big, big draw - see heating thread!)
A dishwasher there
No washing and ironing for a week
£5 limit on presents for/from us(not to DCs obv) and from DCs to MIL (she doesn't know this...)

Just hope it is worth it.

As others have said, I think your Christmas sounds lovely. Look for perhaps one or two things you could change that won't add any stress - e.g. a Christmassy cocktail (alcoholic or non-alcoholic) while you're opening presents; something different to sandwiches for lunch,canapes or similar. Last year, i did croissants filled with mincemeat and heated in the oven - gorgeous!I've a feeling tho that your family love it the way it is, and you might go to a lot of trouble to change things and find people preferred the same old routine, boring as it is for you. Friends of ours buy a new family game each year - board games have been overtaken by the DVD type things. We get to play with them on New Years Eve. Panto/carol karaoke are great ideas, but not everyone's cup of tea (my DH for example wouldn't find that appealing, tho I would). I'd also consider starting a Christmas Eve tradition where you get to lock yourself in the bathroom for a couple of hours for a pamper session. (note to self to start that one in the Lilospell household!)

we have sinta klaus arrive on the 5th of december...
christingle service night-before...
croissants for breakfast (kids aren't interested in food) and satumas...
open presents on our bed...
i cook a chicken (ex-veggie and not keen on turkey) and roast potatoes etc roast peppers (mmmm) and christmas pudding with cream...
watch TV in between or play games (hunt the thimble, chess etc)...
go for a walk after dinner (snow), or lounge in PJ's allllll day...
soup or something light for dinner (kids are usually starving but us grown-ups are full)...

we only go visiting on boxing day, when mil usually cooks.

i agree though the traditional christmas dinner is not exciting if your a veggie, i used to scrap the meat of the plate or throw it away if it had gravy on at christmas do's from work etc.

I've hosted christmas at my house since 1987 so I know how you feel ! Except i did have one year off in the early '90's when MIL did it.
For me its been a real learning curve. I used to hate having the responsibilty of making it great for everyone. Nowdays I dont put myself under that pressure. I try to do things that might be fun ,but without knocking myself out.
Last year me and dh made all the crackers. They looked like we'd found them in a skip ,we are not that arty! but they were funny and very individual and I will do it again this year.
My kids are teenagers now so the whole day has a much more grown up feeling. We play cards for money in the afternoon which I really enjoy
And we had a cheese fondue on christmas eve last year which was a bit different and fun

The other people on my list are bil and his sons as he has split with his wife this year and he will only get the boys at teatime , so eating at lunchtime isn't possible

And Mil and Fil

Oh and dd's boyfriend, whom I hate with a passion

Quite like the secret games idea!!

The tradition for opening a small present between main and pudding comes from when my Dad was alive and he hated waiting for his pudding whereas I like time for my main to 'settle' so everyone opening a present took 20 minutes or so and he couldn't complain about not getting his pudding sraight away , that was over 20 years ago, but now ds2 dresses up as Santa and distrubutes them all.

Reading this does make me realise that I am actually very lucky and am really complaining for nothing.

make yourself a really nice veggie dish to 'compliment' the mains, if this is a problem.

also, drinking lots of wine really helps!

Don't be so hard on yourself, it's your Christmas too.