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Original poster

Anyone else gutted that their toddler didn't enjoy the day?

26 replies

Nichola2310 · 25/12/2020 18:55

I have been really looking forward to seeing my toddlers face on Christmas Day. He was very cross and difficult yesterday so I put him to bed early and hoped for a better day today. I didn't get it.

He was yappy and difficult all day, one tantrum after another. We took 1 quick visit to my sisters where he also behaved badly.

He's in bed now and I'm so disappointed that he didn't really enjoy any of his toys or the day.

OP posts:
1stTimeMama · 25/12/2020 18:58

Christmas can be overwhelming for little ones, and even bigger ones actually. With all the excitement, talk of being good, and then our expectations of them, it can just be a bit much.

I'm sure they did enjoy it, just not in the way you were hoping to see.

HumphreyCobblers · 25/12/2020 19:06

I remember typing this post about my toddler 12 years ago. He was vile all day and I was gutted. By the next Christmas he was absolutely LOVELY, really enjoying the whole thing.

Don’t take it to heart , toddlers are like this sometimes.

Caspianberg · 25/12/2020 19:07

My younger baby has been Mr grumble all day. Starting at about 1am when he woke every hour until morning, then wouldn’t nap properly so has just been tired. In between he has had odd happy moments of eating wrapping paper, and sampled his first Yorkshire pudding.

jerometheturnipking · 25/12/2020 19:10

Christmas Day is very often just more than toddlers can handle, especially when adult expectations are taken into consideration. I think 4-8yo are the prime years for “Christmas magic” in children, and even then there’s a careful balance to be struck of behaviour anticipation and “the magic”.

byvirtue · 25/12/2020 19:14

He’s a toddler, let him be. We as adults have so many expectations about Christmas, toddlers expect nothing, so you need to understand your disappointment is down to your unrealistic expectations of him. They are still little and tomorrow is a new day with far less pressure!

littleloopylou · 25/12/2020 19:15

Yes.

Original poster
Nichola2310 · 25/12/2020 19:21

He's only 2 so therefore still doesn't understand Christmas. Other than a 30min visit to my sisters we stayed at home all day so I don't think I had big expectations of we must visit all these people and he must behave.

I just wanted to sit on the floor and play with him and not get screamed at.

OP posts:
CheesecakeAddict · 25/12/2020 19:41

I think it's a lot when they are so young. If it was any other day, if the toddlers were having an off day, I'd shove my pjs on, and have a bugger it day and purely survive. We can't do that if we are seeing relatives, or have big expectations of dressing up nice for a big feast. My 3 year old struggled so much today with so many presents, endless Skype calls and then a full day with my parents (I am a single parent, so we have a bubble). By lunchtime she just needed time away from everyone because she was so overwhelmed. I would imagine at 2,it's harder for them to express that, so screaming at you may have probably been the only way to communicate that. It doesn't mean they didn't have a wonderful day, it just means they can't take as much as we'd like, which is OK. Tomorrow the pressure is off and we can stay in our Pjs, eat leftover yule log and play with her new toys.

Wowcherarestalkingme · 25/12/2020 19:44

This is the first year DS has had a magical Christmas Day I’d say. He is now four, and was able to sit at the table and eat with us for the length of the meal, opened his presents and said thank you and was able to play with them and he didn’t have a melt down because he was overwhelmed. He’s 4 1/2 and it definitely wasn’t like this last year. It gets better

Norah8 · 25/12/2020 19:45

3 kids here and it's normal.
It get better.

BridgeFarmKefir · 25/12/2020 19:54

My daughter is also 2. While she doesn't quite get Christmas, she knew something exciting was happening and she became VERY invested in presents when we started opening them. She was completely hyper/ naughty most of the day. Usually, we'd be with my family and some of the pressure would be off - I.e. I wouldn't have to be watching her constantly, but not this year.

It was hard. But we had a few nice moments. All I have for you OP is solidarity. Hopefully tomorrow, with lower expectations and fewer distractions will be better. It's past bedtime so I am sat here now with a very large G&T!

Werk · 25/12/2020 20:07

I think it is too overwhelming for them - the hype before, the amount of presents and break from routine etc. My DS was always a nightmare on Christmas Day - he is 6 now and this is the first year I can say I really enjoyed it with him (and even then he was rude to his aunt and uncle on FaceTime and hit his sister which led to a timeout).

Then I look at the threads about teenagers being grumpy.... 😬

Nochristmasbreak · 25/12/2020 20:08

Children are annoying. 2 year olds are really annoying.

Don't sweat it, life isn't like the movies or Christmas cards.

Have a nice night yourself he won't remember any Christmas before age 5/6 anyway xxx

ShinyGreenElephant · 25/12/2020 20:09

Mines had an absolute ball but point blank refused to open a single present, not one. The older kids are quite put out but the day was exciting enough and she can open them whenever she wants, tomorrow or one a day if she prefers. With DD1 I probably would have been devastated but shes no4 so I'm no longer precious and I want fun, happiness and magic not a picture perfect day. I think once you take the pressure off everything is soooo much easier

Heyahun · 25/12/2020 20:16

Gawd the pressure to enjoy this day and for children to behave in the perfect way and have the dream Christmas is too much!

soughsigh · 25/12/2020 20:21

I also have a 2yo. I set my expectations very low - it's just a normal day, it's not going to be magical. He didn't eat Christmas dinner (he had a plate of bread, Ham, cheese and olives instead, his favourite things) and half his presents remain unopened. He barely played with the ones that he did open.

I'm classing it as a win because we only had 1 tantrum and we kept to his normal routine - albeit it was overwhelming because we went to see his grandparents.

DonnatellaLyman · 25/12/2020 20:22

Mine has been talking about Christmas for about 4 months, counting down on her advent calendar, spilling over with excitement last night.
Today.... nightmare. I’m sad too OP, because it was clearly important to her and it wasn’t a great day.
In retrospect it was always going to be a disappointment compared to last year when she was the doted on only child surrounded by extended family. This year she was sharing 2 covid pos parents with her baby sister.
It’s been a tough year, be kind to yourself (and your toddler).

mistermagpie · 25/12/2020 20:23

It's a tough age, and that's just that. I have three kids aged 5, 3 and 1 and the older two enjoyed today a lot, but last year was really just like any other day. They don't really get that it should be different and to be honest they can sense your disappointment or feeling a bit crap about it and this makes them even more fractious.

Today my one year old was a bit fed up, she's only just one and can't walk and gets easily annoyed and frustrated. Overall we had a good day but it's certainly nothing like the perfect Christmas. Luckily I don't like Christmas anyway so my expectations are very low!

It will get better, my five year old had a blast today! Until then, keep your expectations very low.

EternalOptimist7 · 25/12/2020 20:29

A 2 year old is still a baby. I think parents sometimes expect way too much from their children. Go with the flow.

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 25/12/2020 21:54

@Wowcherarestalkingme

This is the first year DS has had a magical Christmas Day I’d say. He is now four, and was able to sit at the table and eat with us for the length of the meal, opened his presents and said thank you and was able to play with them and he didn’t have a melt down because he was overwhelmed. He’s 4 1/2 and it definitely wasn’t like this last year. It gets better
Exactly this. Ds1 is just turned four and this is the first year where he's got it, enjoyed it and been absolutely brilliant. ( trying to think back and I genuinely genuinely can't remember the Christmas he was born, well not properly, or when he was 14 months, or when he was two Blush I can remember last year and it was good but not a patch on this year. It does get easier.
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 27/12/2020 20:57

Did he eat enough?
My DS was a little nightmare the Christmas he was 2yo .
My DParents came to stay , my DS was never interested in eating anyway . He went to the park , sat at the dining table ok.
Then we took him out (IIRC day after Boxing Day) he was cranky , squeaky , unreasonable ( yeah Toddler Wink ) he was hungry and it caught up with him.

He's 21 now (and DD 18) they do get better Xmas Grin

UndertheCedartree · 27/12/2020 21:16

At 2 Christmas doesn't really mean anything to them. It can be tiring and overwhelming. I'm sure you'll get to have some fun playing with his toys in the days to come. Give it a couple of years and Christmas will become magical.

micc · 28/12/2020 08:23

I know this is late but I agree with PPs! My daughter is now 4 and half too and this year was so lovely. She was a bit annoying at the dinner table but she always is and she was just so happy and excited. I didnt overwhelm her with gifts either this year. Just some little bits and the stuff she asked for. She was so good all day, which is a bit out of character for her Haha! But I remember when she was 2 it was a struggle. It's just a lot. She got overwhelmed quite easily and she was all over the shop. Also last year when she was three she was potty trained but went back and started having accidents every day on the build up to Christmas! That was tiring. Although it wasnt ideal I delt with it. She was so out of wack and she needed a routine at that point. They dont understand at the end of the day. Their routine is all messed up and everything looks different. It's sad when you just want them to have fun, but try not to beat your self up about it they just dont get it yet.

MarmaladeTeepee · 29/12/2020 13:36

We didn't have a good Christmas until DC were 5 and 3 - up until then one or both would be ill (we had ear infections, 2 separate bouts of chicken pox, stomach bugs and colds) or teething. Plus the fact that neither of them slept through the night until they were 18 months and then all the added Christmas pressure on top just meant Christmas was not at all enjoyable those first few years. But as the other PPs have said it does get better, just keep your expectations low until DS gets to 3 or 4.

SinkGirl · 29/12/2020 13:44

I nearly just posted myself but I’ve been very upset since Christmas as my twins got nothing from it at all. They are 4 but autistic, developmentally speaking much younger. I really thought they would enjoy it more this year based on their recent birthday and how well they’re doing at their new special school, I spent ages trying to find gifts I thought they would like, and there was no enjoyment at all. No interest in gifts or food or anything really.

The problem is entirely mine, they don’t know that they are missing out, it’s my hopes and expectations that have upset me. I just feel so sad that I haven’t figured out a way to make it special for them, and I feel like a failure. Probably ridiculous but how I feel right now. I need to find a way to change my expectations.

For you I expect things will be very different next year, all of my friends children of a similar age have been so excited this year, and enjoyed it last year.

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