Urghh... think i arsed up Christmas eve !

[Didiplanthis]

I have been struggling to feel the Christmas vibe this year, but I have 3 primary age DC and thought I was doing ok going through the motions, but I nearly forgot their new pjs this evening, then gave them the wrong ones - we don't do boxes but they always get new non Xmas pjs, had to be reminded to put out carrots and biscuits for santa. And have now realized I forgot the santa tracking and all sitting together reading The Night Before Christmas.... we ALWAYS do this...dd will have realized but is too polite to have said anything.. arse.. the other 2 have ASD so this is a pretty fraught time of year and DH is being a miserable git, but I'm not sure why I am making such a hash of it this year...ive not prepped anything nice, not planned much as no one is coming, and its just all a bit splat and rubbish... I'm worried I've let my kids down, when they have so few proper children's Christmases left ... I'm now over thinking this aren't I ?

Yes, you are over thinking. Your children will not be permanently scarred.

Let's face it, Christmas is shit this year. My kids are adults now, but if they were little at this point in time, I'd be tempted to say Santa died and Christmas was cancelled.

Thank you ! At least I haven't said that 😂. 8 yr old has just got up to see if santa has been ( and has gone back to bed having satisfied himself he has without touching the bulging stocking.. wtf ??? I would NEVER have that self control at 40 let alone 8 ..ASD is a very strange thing at times ! ) I need to stop worrying and sleep... but have now moved on to are there too many presents (panic purchases) ? The wrong presents ? . There are presents... it will be ok.. God its tiring being in my head !!!

We forgot to put anything out for Santa, if it helps. I did remember but DD was already in bed and I didn't think it wise to get her up to put the mince pie out. So I've left the mince pie case and dishevelled carrot on the Santa plate anyway and will just have to tell her we put it out when she was already in bed.

Try not to worry OP.

I know that feeling, we forgot to put the stocking out one year!! We put so much pressure on ourselves to try and give our children a perfect Christmas. But it’s important that children see real life too - we all forget things, buy the wrong thing, break things, lose things - they’ll realise it’s normal and feel comfortable, when they do it too.

Merry Christmas OP!

If it helps we always read AA Milne's King John's Christmas which was read to me as a child and mine (teens and twenties) love. It's our long standing tradition.

I couldn't be arsed. I'm suffering long Covid, have hurt my back doing fuck all and I went up to bed just after ten feeling shit.

I'm now up again cos I can't sleep,, I'm in pain and I'll have to be up and putting the damn turkey in in about 5 or 6 hours. I love Christmas usually and make massive efforts. At some point shortly I might have to go and see if teens are asleep and take the damn stockings into their rooms.

Have a good day tomorrow! (Today?)

Sod it OP, there is always next year to try again. Relax and merry Xmas x

Don't worry op, they'll have a great Christmas! The year Santa forgot to eat the mince pie and drink his milk has scarred me for life! Kids were absolutely devastated

I can understand as a mother you might be feeling a bit deflated but honestly? In the grand scheme of things does it really matter?

Sounded like a stealth boast until I read further down your post and I empathise with the position you're in but seriously, there are millions out there who are a lot worse off than you. I think you're lucky, personally

I forgot most of the same things. Don't worry. You ate together and they are loved. That's what matters.

Oh arse it all ...,. I forgot to leave anything out
Are we destined to receive nothing from Santa this year?

Join the club. I have four kids and normally love Christmas. My mum was unexpectedly taken ill last week so I had to do a mercy dash and spend some days with her.

Came home to a right mess and mountains of washing.

I'm in bed now while dh wraps as I then had to dash round giving out presents. I buy the presents and try to make it nice. Dh just hasn't stepped up to fill my space this year.

No mince pie, didnt do the xmas eve box, no Santa tracking. Nothing that I had bought the stuff for.

Dh hasn't seen when the Turkey goes in so I'm sure I'm facing another Christmas day of eating at 4pm after a early breakfast. I wanted to cook but he loves being Christmas cooking marter.

Pissed off with this year. I only going to buy a set number of presents each next year.

It's too much faff which is sad as the youngest are 6 and eight 😥

Aquamarine1029
Let's face it, Christmas is shit this year. My kids are adults now, but if they were little at this point in time, I'd be tempted to say Santa died and Christmas was cancelled.
😂😂😂

Thank you everyone ! I do know I'm being a self indulgent arse, and I am really lucky to even have this stuff to worry about. My DC's ASD based anxiety and need for control means that I never get anything right anyway and spend life waking on egg shells waiting for the next meltdown so I guess I'm even more anxious about getting it wrong. Also worried about my dad on his own aged 82, and waiting for my covid test result which is likely to come in tomorrow.. yay. But actually just having the space to vent and hearing you are having similar issues helps loads.. sorry to whoever thought it was a stealth boast.. it really wasn't.. I can see why you might have thought that. I put some good stuff in as I knew I was wallowing and needed a kick up the arse !

The year Santa forgot to eat the mince pie and drink his milk has scarred me for life! Kids were absolutely devastated

Holy shit!

I ate them early just to avoid this, and then sat here panicking that DD might come through to check if he’s been, and wonder where Santa’s snacks have gone!

If it makes you feel any better I worked a lot in the run up to Xmas and forgot to buy some smaller presents for my youngest. Now I'm Stressed that she'll see what her older sisters (much easier to buy for) have got and be sad. I've spent about the same, but kids don't care about cost they care about how many presents they have...I think.

We remembered the biscuit for santa but forgot the carrot for the reindeer 🤦‍♀️

I contemplated getting the kids out of bed to do it but I forced myself not to let perfection be the enemy of good.

They will have a wonderful Christmas and if they even remember when they get up we wil definitely remember to do it next year.

Happy Christmas - remember it's your Christmas too 😊

We forgot to bite the carrot and mince pie one year. Father Christmas delivered presents but was obviously too full to eat the food.

I think that was the same year that he put the sacks in the wrong bedrooms too!

Don't worry. DC are very adaptable!

For the first time in over 20 years none of mine wanted to do the Christmas Eve stuff like putting out a mince pie and milk or reading ‘Twas the night before Christmas.’
They aren’t even up and awake now on Christmas morning.

Think the magic had gone for now. Hopefully in a few years there will be grandchildren instead!

Don't overthink it, kids aren't that bothered, they are focussing on today. Christmas is going to be a bit rubbish for most people this year

@Tumbleweed101 my dd insisted on it last year despite being 18, we compromised on the drink choice and it was a jug of margarita, which she drank most of. Not with her this year but they made martinis for "Santa"

We forgot to put the carrot out, light the Christmas candle for the window and the dc took it on themselves to go to bed early so we didn’t have the cosy wind-down that’s usually necessary to calm the hyper little lunatics. I felt quite lost last night.

Then I had my annual cry in bed last night over the awful present choices... too many...too few...were they even...would they be devastated...

It was brilliant this morning.

But I really resonate to the sense of never getting things right with an asd child! I carry a constant low level stress all the time.

Hope today is going well for you.

We did ok ! Turns out DS was awake literally all night from midnight but did so well not to open his presents - ADHD... impulse control not his strong point. DS with ASD had his meltdowns but we have worked out if I ask him what one present he really wants and really needs to be waiting for him first thing, and confirm it is there, showing him I have it the night before if need be, his anxiety is massively lessened. So I may have arsed up Christmas eve, but I think we made big strides in managing Christmas day 🙂

Hey @Didiplanthis - just wanted to say I’m glad you had a good day in the end!

Your post really resonated with me as my eldest also has ADHD and anxiety - and woke at 3 am but also managed to stay quiet and not open the presents! I also have to tell him his main present to lessen the anxiety ( and know the feeling of walking on eggshells - single parent and forgot the mine pie but luckily my youngest reminded me!)

If it helps my dad forgot to defrost the turkey