Duplicate gift dilemma WWYD?

[sleighstar]

Someone has got my dd a gift she already has. They called me and during the conversation told me what the present was. At the time I didn't realize.

She had it last year from us so I cannot return it. Also I will not be able to return the new one as I have no proof of purchase.

I'm guessing the obvious answer is to be honest and tell them it's a duplicate gift, but will I sound rude/ ungrateful.

To make things worse we haven't seen this person in over 2 years and they sounded very enthusiastic about this gift. So did I at the time!

WWYD?

Say thank you and then regift it to someone else.

I actually have no one else to regift it to. Also it would leave my dd without a gift so I will have to buy a replacement. She will think it's odd her brother got a present and she didn't.

Give it to charity so another child can enjoy it, supermarkets where I live have a collection for them near checkout ..Take a photo of your child playing with the one you already have and send it to your friends saying ‘thanks , she loves it’

Why would you have to replace it ? Either tell them beforehand or give it to a charity

If they have t already sent it to you then just tell them, hopefully they can order something else in time. I would rather someone was honest so I could return the item and buy something that will get used.

How old old is she? If she is old enough to understand may be a good opportunity for a life lesson about giving/receiving graciously.

I'd be honest and get in touch with the person explaining DD has one a year old already. Then suggest something they could swap it for or ask them for the receipt and sort it yourself.

Don't tell them, especially if they are excited by the gift. Just accept it graciously and say thank you.

It’s hard to offer advice without knowing what the item is and also how old your daughter is.

In general I let my son open gifts even if they are a duplicate. I’ve taught him to always be gracious and thankful (for the thought) and if it is something he already has or really doesn’t like we’ll try to sort it later. It’s a good life lesson - but obviously whether this is appropriate depends on whether your child is 3 or 13 or somewhere in between. However there is a absolutely nothing wrong with a child opening a gift they already have, so I wouldn’t take it away and not give her anything, as your post seems to imply you may do.

Also, it isn’t always necessary to have proof of purchase to swap something. A few years ago we got a number of duplicate books. We took a trip to a bookstore and explained, asking if we could exchange for other titles in the same series. As they were straight swaps, this wasn’t an issue (and we spent additional Christmas money there, because they were helpful). If a shop sells the item in question, they will often allow you to swap for another item of the same value, or store credit. Shops are obviously not obliged to do this, but many will.

I’d probably have a conversation with the gift giver though and see what they would like to do, although only you know the person and whether this would be the best thing to do. Be gracious, explain that it was such a good gift that she already has it. Offer to do the legwork - say you will try to swap or whatever. They may be able to send you the proof of purchase (or may even have included a gift receipt in the package).

I definitely agree with allowing her to open it and practice the skill of graciously thanking them. Every birthday I go through with dd - what do you say if you already have it, what do you say if you don't like it, what do you say if you love it? And the answer is always 'thank you, I love it'. She can then decide how to sort it out - I can sell it on ebay and give her the money or buy her another gift. But honestly, it happens and isn't the end of the world.

I think you missed the opportunity to tell her you already have it when she told you what she bought and you acted excited too!
I would give it to DD as agree it's a lesson she will need to learn. It's happened many times with my children over the years. She then thanks them and you can then both decide what to do with it after Xmas.

You accept it and thank the giver. You can't do anything else now! I normally regift (surely you'll have a kids party to go to sometime?) but you could sell on ebay i suppose if you can't do that.

I have a mantra I run through with my dc before times when they will get gifts:
What do you do if you get a gift you like?
Say thank you.
What do you do if you get a gift you don't like?
Say thank you.
What do you do if you get a gift you already have?
Say thank you.

My other thought is - there are some gifts that it can work having two of. My dv have been pleased to receive a duplicate doll so they can have twins, for example.

Just tell them. I’d be mortified if I thought the gift I’d carefully chosen was just going to be given away. I want the recipient to enjoy it, not someone I’ve never met.

whats wrong with duplicates?

if its physical toys my kids will happily play with 2 of the same thing (2 dinosaurs the same will fight, 2 teddies the same will be twins, 2 cars the same will be just like the others etc...) and its great for when one breaks or gets lost.

How old is DD? If she's old enough to notice that her brother has a gift and who it was from, she's old enough to understand that sometimes gift givers get it wrong but it's the thought that counts. I'm sure it's not the only gift she'll get this Christmas.

Save it for when you need it for a child's birthday present or give it to the Salvation Army or similar to pass on to a child in need.

I don’t think this is a big deal. It surely happens frequently at Christmas. You can’t control what a distant friend buys you.

Open the gift, get her to say thank you even if she’s disappointed, and either keep/donate/sell etc it. I don’t think she needs a replacement. It’s a gift, not an entitlement

@ScalpHelp

I don’t think this is a big deal. It surely happens frequently at Christmas. You can’t control what a distant friend buys you.

Open the gift, get her to say thank you even if she’s disappointed, and either keep/donate/sell etc it. I don’t think she needs a replacement. It’s a gift, not an entitlement

This exactly .

@mam0918

whats wrong with duplicates?

if its physical toys my kids will happily play with 2 of the same thing (2 dinosaurs the same will fight, 2 teddies the same will be twins, 2 cars the same will be just like the others etc...) and its great for when one breaks or gets lost.

Sure that depends on the gift. Two dolls fine, two copies of monopoly not useful.

monopoly and such games lose pieces all the time, having duplicates can be handy.

Depends who it is that bought it and how expensive it is. I normally say thanks, regift and buy something else.