if you spend a lot on Xmas presents for the kids - do you really not spend throughout the year?

[motherxmas]

Just that. Following on from another thread on here. We have little kids so tend to buy them stuff as and when they need it. This is mainly because they change so much during the year and it keeps them happy etc. But then I only spend about £150quid each for Xmas (more for their birthdays which I think are more important). Is that unusual?

We buy throughout the year; clothes, shoes, art/craft stuff (the odd small toy like Pokemon cards etc glad that phase is over), sports equipment (bike, snowboard, ice skates etc), I will also buy the odd puzzle or boardgame. Books and video games we get 98% from the library. The kids have pocket money for little things they want (but they rarely spend it).

Christmas and birthdays are for specific requested toys, branded clothes, video games, books, crafts etc. Expensive tech stuff we are more likely to buy as a family than gift to a particular child.

I am going to get totally slammed for this but I do go OTT at Xmas,
2 elder DC are 13 and 7 ( I also have a Newborn )
They get a lot for Xmas and birthdays.

During the year they get a monthly allowance of 80.00. This seems a lot BUT ...
that is for anything that is absolutely non essential. So I will purchase toiletries, food that is needed, I will purchase school stuff.
Basic clothes.
They however use their money for treats at days outs and for example
If I decide that we are going to the cinema then I will purchase their tickets but if they want to eat the sweets / popcorn etc then they pay for it.
If they decide they want to watch a movie at the cinema and I say ok I will take them they pay for their own ticket 🤣
Supermarket shopping - I but breakfast / lunch and dinner list
They but their own extra food that they want.
Clothes - they are never expected to buy their own clothes but if they want a item that is more expensive than I am willing to spend or it’s not something they are actually in need for then they buy it.
Anything else through out the year is their responsibility.
They are expected however to keep their bedrooms tidy / make sure their homework is complete at all times.

Ds is in charge of the bins and mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors and washes up once a week.
DD is in charge of making dinner table and taking baskets of clothes to the rightful owners bedroom also to feed the dog.
If they ask me for anything during the year which is extra than their monthly allowance it’s a no.

I have 2 teens ds14 ds13 and a ds8, I absolutely do buy clothes and trainers for Christmas, a pair of trainers for them sets me back around £185 each for the eldest two, £95 for the youngest, one outfit (hoodie and joggers) can set me back £140, a three pack of boxers almost £40. If they want these type of things then yes, they are expected to wait until birthdays and Christmas, I don't think I'm being mean for that, it all adds up fast. Our budget for Christmas is around £4.5k for the three of them, birthdays is usually between 800 and 1k each. I will do basic clothing and footwear when needed throughout the year or when the seasons change etc boots and things for their sports are bought throughout the year, as are days out, treats, playstation vouchers etc but they are expected to wait for big ticket items - unless they save up and buy them themselves.

Ds is nearly 17, he has his PIP money every 4 weeks so he buys what he wants with that, usually books or the odd console game. I don't buy him much during the year, this Christmas I've bought him books for his hobby, trainspotting, a dressing gown, a Bassett hound mug & if I don't manage to get him an Xbox series X he will have money towards driving lessons when he is 17 next month & I will get him the Xbox for his birthday.

I'd say £150 each at Christmas was a lot. I spend more like £50 each!

I might treat them to a cinema trip a few times per year, or if we are lucky a theatre trip/day in London. Clothes and shoes are as and when they need them. Might pick up a book/dvd whatever in a charity shop if I see one.

I've got friends who claim they don't buy anything at all ever throughout the year and that's how they fund expensive Christmases. They then post pictures of their days out/theatre trips/cinema visits/toys they bought 'just because' all year round. Of course that's up to them if that's what they choose to do, but the "I save all year so I can afford a big Christmas" is always said with an air of "if you were more like me and didn't spend any money on your DC at all ever all year except Christmas and birthdays then you could save like me despite the fact I'm always spending money". When in fact its low income vs high cost of living that means I can't. It always leaves me feeling like I'm doing it wrong somehow

I don't buy much in the year but do go all out at Christmas and birthdays.
Although now we have a new baby that will probably change. My older two are quite a bit older so their interests and size doesn't change much but obviously be different for our new baby.

Interesting points raised on these 'how much do you spend at Xmas' threads.

It's made me look at my spending patterns over the years and I've realised it's as follows:

Christmas - Big Ticket Items for the magic of Xmas, so for example Xmas Toy of that year, Bikes, Consoles (Nintendo's, Wii's, Xbox when they were younger and then laptops, phones, ipads as they got older)

Also fancy PJ's, Slippers, Dressing Gowns/Bedding, as the shops generally tend to stock nicer/themed ones during the Xmas season.

Birthdays - Mainly their 'hearts desire' which was usually a big birthday party plus requested Toy when they were younger, then moved to Branded Clothing as Teens, and then to Big Ticket Concerts, etc

School Year Start - Uniforms, Shoes, Socks and Pants as standard but as approached Teens the Branded Trainers including any other special requests for that year.

It worked/works out well in terms of managing the budget as well as expectations across the year, as the luckily the dates are spread out evenly.

Xmas is always the special one though! As it comes with the Xmas spirit and family gathering.

So, in summary whilst the timing of the spends fluctuates according to Age and Stage, over the year the total spend remains consistent.

When my kids were much younger we may have picked up the occasional toy we knew they would like, but it was rare as we really were quite poor.

Now they're older if they need clothes or shoes we will buy that as and when needed. But other things wait till xmas or birthdays. They get £10 a month pocket money so save up if they want something.

Birthdays I spend £80 ‐£100 and xmas I spend anywhere from £150‐£250 each. My girls tend to be "cheaper" because my son is into video games which cost more.

DH is very conscious of not wanting to "spoil" the children, personally I think he's worrying about nothing but I also agree that there isnt really a need to buy them lots of gifts through the year.

I dont think I spend lots (£120) but my kids get lots as I shop sales all year round but they dont just get random 'gifts' here and there for nothing but we also arent stingy.

Growing up I knew a child who parents wouldnt spend anything throughout the year, her parents constantly said 'no' even to things that cost pennies (even like the old 10p pick and mix from the ice cream man) and it made her left out when every other kid got something and she didnt, I wouldnt be like that.

My kids get little souviners if we go to museums and things like that (only a couple of £ worth though, more pocket money price) but they dont just get a new game/toy/gadget/bike etc... because its just been released or they just asked and so on.

My oldest does save up to buy a Fifa each year as soon as it comes out but thats money he was given for his birthday by family I wouldnt just buy it for him for the sake of it.

I only spend £50 on presents on their birthday

they get far less than xmas but they do get a big party (although this year is different, my oldests birthday beat lockdow but my youngest just had a picnic, luckly as a pre-schooler he doesnt care much yet)

and an experiance and/or day out like zoo keeper, race track day, mountin ziplining etc...

Christmas is around £4.5k for the three of them, birthdays is usually between 800 and 1k each

I’m stunned and not in a good way. I can only think that they are horrendously materialistic.( and that your house is filled with “ stuff” ) Perhaps that’s an incorrect assumption but that’s what it seems like when those figures are bandied around.

I would have said we’re pretty generous with DD8. We probably spend about £300 for Christmas and birthdays. This year she’s asked for clothes and trainers. The items we’ve got are more premium brands than I would buy in the year. So I might buy a fake fur coat rather than a functional coat. I would never buy a big ticket item like a bike outside of a birthday or Christmas I think it’s crazy. I’m happy to buy clothes, art & craft items and books as needed but not on demand. She might get a small item from a day out ( museum shop) but I don’t do that every week. There’s no way I’d be buying new items like a toy every week - it sets a precedent that I don’t like. My DD is very privileged- she gets to go to London shows, museums etc she doesn’t need endless gifts on top of that.

I only spend £50 on birthdays though we usually have a day out or a trip to Pizza Hut too.

We did buy a few toys/puzzles earlier this year due to lockdown, dd has ASD and I really struggled to keep her occupied during the first lockdown so I bought (mainly educational) toys, books and puzzles. Usually I wouldn’t but things like that during the year as I would rather spend money on experiences.

Mine are more or less grown up now so they buy what they want when they have the cash (both working) but we very rarely bought them anything, other than clothes outside of birthday and Christmas.

For presents, what we spent would depend on our financial situation and what they wanted at the time. Most years they got most what was on the list, although I always left one thing for them to buy themselves with money relatives would send because it burned a hole and would be spent on rubbish otherwise

@alwayslearning789

Interesting points raised on these 'how much do you spend at Xmas' threads.

It's made me look at my spending patterns over the years and I've realised it's as follows:

Christmas - Big Ticket Items for the magic of Xmas, so for example Xmas Toy of that year, Bikes, Consoles (Nintendo's, Wii's, Xbox when they were younger and then laptops, phones, ipads as they got older)

Also fancy PJ's, Slippers, Dressing Gowns/Bedding, as the shops generally tend to stock nicer/themed ones during the Xmas season.

Birthdays - Mainly their 'hearts desire' which was usually a big birthday party plus requested Toy when they were younger, then moved to Branded Clothing as Teens, and then to Big Ticket Concerts, etc

School Year Start - Uniforms, Shoes, Socks and Pants as standard but as approached Teens the Branded Trainers including any other special requests for that year.

It worked/works out well in terms of managing the budget as well as expectations across the year, as the luckily the dates are spread out evenly.

Xmas is always the special one though! As it comes with the Xmas spirit and family gathering.

So, in summary whilst the timing of the spends fluctuates according to Age and Stage, over the year the total spend remains consistent.

I think this is closest to what we do.

I do add socks, pants, practical stuff like pens and what have you into the stockings, and I bulk out their Christmas present pile with clothing too - they always get Christmas PJs, last year there were football boots, accessories like gloves or hats - I’d buy PJs and footwear and warm clothing generally, of course, but they may as well open it on Christmas Day, why not? It’s in addition to their ‘proper’ gifts, not instead of.

We really don’t buy other stuff ‘just because’ through the year except place specific (bucket & spade at seaside; souvenir toy at attraction etc.) or books/consumables like paper, glue, card. If they want something else, they have a small amount of pocket money they’re welcome to blow.

We’ve all got too much stuff as it is. I think £150 per child is actually quite generous already.

We buy clothes/shoes/bikes etc when needed. They get expensive toys like Lego only in Christmas and on their birthdays. They have their birthdays in end of may and beginning of June so about half way in the year so by that time they are bored with their Xmas toys and vice versa.