Too old to believe?

[Sparklemummyx0x0x]

When is too old to still believe in Santa?

I've had mixed views on this from family and friends. I don't WANT to tell him, but don't want to not tell him either.

To be honest, this year I've not actually mentioned about Father Christmas coming, bringing gifts etc, when we've talked about presents, I've asked what he wants and brushed over about buying them.

My mum said he's too old at 11 to think Santa is real.
She said we're not leaving out milk and mince pies this year. ( just us 2 so we stay with them)

I've asked his dad if he's said anything to him and DS apparently mentioned that he 'knew' he wasn't real, but is afraid to confirm just in case there's no presents. But he's not said anything to me.

What's your views and experiences?

He probably doesn't want to say anything to you in case it hurts your feelings ! How is he otherwise, is he a mature 11 yr old or a young 11 yr old ?
I think if it was my ds I would act like its lit in the open and say when do you want to do presents? Xmas eve or xmas morning or after lunch ?
He may feel a whole conversation would be a bit cringey so just be matter of fact .
My ds is 6 and I think I will handle it like above when the time comes

Not how I did it.

Assumed my SN child knew at 11, thought we had discussed it when we talked about if he was too old for meeting santa on our local steam train. So Said that father Christmas would just bring a stocking this year. Cue floods of tears. Eventually he calmed down but wouldn't talk about it.

Yeara later we realised he thought he had been very bad so Father Christmas was bringing him less presents .

I assume all kids know by secondary and if they don’t at that point they should be told

Leave it, he probably knows but still wants to believe in the magic and fun.
My DC kept pretending as he loved all the hype, but now he’s like yeah “Father Christmas brings the presents” and gives me a cheeky smile and wink. DC1 only keeps the pretence up for DC2.

Agree with your mum that at 11 they know the truth.

We never made a big deal of Santa in the first place. He was just the delivery guy and the gifts were labelled from who sent them. I never wanted them to think others didn’t send gifts or why others might get different amounts and then there’s no big reveal either when they figure it out.

Around 7/8 seems to be the max age for believing, after that they may pretend out of fear of getting no gifts.

At age 36 I have never admitted to my parents that Santa is not real, it was always a case of 'if you believe, he will come' so although I knew (and they knew I knew) he wasn't real, it was never spoken about... and yes, still put mince pie, beer and a carrot out every Christmas Eve til I left home!

I think they need to know before they start secondary school, for fear of bullying.

However, just before Christmas is never the right time. Wait til after

I personally think its cruel to allow a child to go to secondary school still believing.
My DC was 8 when they were definitely questioning, 9 when they were playing along (for fear of less presents I believe) and at 10 barely mentions Santa in regards to gifts and hasn't written a letter for the first time.

He probably does know or has some doubts by now. Another child has told my 9yo that santa isn't real, but he's grasping onto the belief and still playing along for now but we both know he's questioning it all. I'm not sure he'll try and still belive next christmas but it will be his last, he'll start high school the year after that and I will have explained it to him by then so he doesn't get picked on.

@clydeonabike same here! Am 38 and a mum of 3 and still believe, my mum has always insisted that he’s real!