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Original poster

To hate receiving presents.....

21 replies

grey12 · 13/12/2020 11:16

Christmas season is coming. Let's be honest: I don't like receiving presents.... gift receipts are good, though.

I receive clothes I would never pick and people don't understand why I don't really like them and get offended!!! (I am very top heavy and conscious of that.....)

Even with objects, I have been trying to reduce the stuff I have and to be eco friendly. Presents don't help... especially because I would only receive from very close family, so can't easily regift or give to charity.

Anyone else feels the same?

OP posts:
PoulePouletteEternellement · 13/12/2020 11:57

On the whole I find the giving more exciting and fun than the receiving - but, because I'm very clear about my likes and dislikes, and because anyone who's giving me a gift knows me quite well, I'm almost never given a main present I don't love.

Is it that your people don't listen - or are you just not being clear enough?

"Please don't buy me any clothes as I like to choose my own. A voucher from this shop would be very welcome. Thank you!"

"Please don't buy me anything for my house. Unless it's this particular thing."

"I have seen a little bracelet - link - that I'd love ..."

I find these phrases work wonderfully.

JamesMoriarty · 13/12/2020 12:52

I feel the same! I don't want to seem ungrateful but I absolutely hate clutter and I seem to end up with a lot of it. I've never been given clothes in my actual size. I'd be happy with a bottle of wine! My family don't really discuss gifts beforehand.

AuntieMarys · 13/12/2020 12:54

I would be horrified if someone bought me clothes! Even my dh has never bought me clothes.
You need to be firmer and tell people that you either don't want anything, or this is what you would love.

Toilenstripes · 13/12/2020 12:55

I agree. Unless I’ve specifically asked for something, chances are that I won’t want it. I also find that many people think that buying loads of tat is somehow better than buying one nice gift.

Original poster
grey12 · 13/12/2020 14:02

I am known for being kind of blunt and saying when I don't like something.... however they keep on insisting..... they say I dress boringly Hmm they don't accept the way I like to dress and want me to keep buying clothes. When I buy something it needs to be right.

One of the last gifts was a sweater (lovely colour!!) with an half-turtleneck Confused I have always abhorred turtlenecks!!!! I love like an icecream cone! It does my body no favours. Maybe my body isn't that bad but I see my big breasts (FF/G cups is decently big!) in super evidence and don't like it....

OP posts:
luckylavender · 13/12/2020 15:52

No one ever buys me clothes, not even my husband. I'd hate it.

Stompythedinosaur · 13/12/2020 18:38

I think it is quite rude to say you don't like something you have been given. Even my young dc know to say thank you and try to appreciate the thought!

For close family maybe ask for no gifts (maybe donations to a charity instead if you like) and for everyone else say thank you and quietly donate to a charity shop afterwards.

Roselilly36 · 13/12/2020 18:43

I am the same, happy to give a gift, but always totally without expectation. I worry about friends buying me things that I know are on tight budgets. I really wish they didn’t spend their money.

Chimeraforce · 13/12/2020 18:47

Same. I feel pressured to perform and as most presents are not necessary to me, I find it awkward. I know I should be grateful but that's just how I feel..... Even as a kid

So last Christmas I opted out and told my family last September. So glad especially this year.
It was either us exchanging monies or gift sets which sat in the cupboard. Pointless.

AmberItsACertainty · 13/12/2020 18:49

I have always hated the Christmas pressure to buy and receive presents. A while ago I gave it up, I explained I was just too broke to buy gifts, which at the time was true. My situation changed for the better, but I didn't let on because I was so sick of stressing about what to buy people who I basically didn't know well enough to know what they'd really like. I couldn't ask them because I'd be told they didn't know what they wanted or asked to buy something over my budget. And if I took a guess quite often they were openly ungrateful or obviously disappointed by my choices. So I decided I wasn't doing it any more. If anyone asked me what I wanted or just gave me something I said oh that's lovely but you didn't have to. Some then didn't and some continued with a token small gift. I just thank them with a smile, whatever it is, and if I don't like it it goes straight to the charity shop.

PoulePouletteEternellement · 13/12/2020 19:19

Stompythedinosaur
I think it is quite rude to say you don't like something you have been given. Even my young dc know to say thank you and try to appreciate the thought!

Yes. Absolutely. No one wants to be in the vicinity of an ungracious recipient come Christmas morning.

Which makes it all the more crucial that, well before Christmas, people make themselves clear. It is deeply unhelpful if, when asked, one responds with "Oh, don't bother about me!" Really, it serves you right if you're presented with a Boots BOGOF that brings you out in hives.

And, if you're from a tight lipped family who will never ask what you'd like, you need to tell them - in particular - What Not To Buy for You. It's perfectly possible to do this calmly and politely at the start of October. Leaving it till you've pulled the crackers on Christmas Day is ... disruptive.

MirandaMarple · 13/12/2020 20:12

I don't enjoy receiving as I am uncomfortable with others spending their money on me. I don't do big birthdays/anniversaries etc I just don't see why a special occasion is so often marked with a gift/experience. Usually of high value and extravagance. I'm approaching 40 and I'm tired of 'oooh what are you doing for your fortieth?' Probably drinking gin and wine and having a nice dinner, which I do every night anyway!

CoolShoeshine · 13/12/2020 20:17

I do feel awkward, hate waste, don’t like asking for things, however, now that Christmas is getting nearer and I’ve spent weeks trying to think of thoughtful gifts for others, I’m now starting to think wistfully about how nice it would be to receive a few nice surprise gifts where it is obvious that the giver has spent time considering what I’d like. Even if they miss the mark a bit the thought and care would be nice. Don’t think it’s happening though, apart from a little gift from my very special dd.

LindaEllen · 13/12/2020 20:21

I actually quite like getting presents, what I don't like is opening them in front of people because I hate attention being on me, and potentially having to pretend I like something that I really, really don't.

I much prefer getting things for other people and seeing them enjoy them - and I like to think I'm quite good at presents, so usually they don't have to pretend to like them!

flakdh · 13/12/2020 20:26

I do feel that way this year. But then I'm kind of tired of life so I'm not enjoying having to pretend to be so happy all the time right now.

FippertyGibbett · 13/12/2020 20:27

Yep, keep your money and buy yourself something instead.

pinkksugarmouse · 14/12/2020 14:45

I don't have many people buying gifts for me. DH & I buy between three and four for each other and he understands how I feel about plastic waste as he has similar feelings about it.

I doubt DD(18) will get around to getting me anything. She learnt to crochet and has promised me a bookmark but she is incredibly disorganised.

My friend and I exchanged a gift and we had very similar ideas. I have a special orniment on my tree made from fabric.

If you don't like presents then you have to speak up but it is a bit late for this year. If people refuse to not buy ask for things that you can donate. Like toiletries and scarf and glove sets. There will be someone somewhere in great need of these things.

pinkksugarmouse · 14/12/2020 14:51

🤔 I am just thinking for the people on here who say how much they enjoy giving gifts to others, how can you be sure that they are not being polite and gracious. Whilst thinking "when and where can I rehome/regift this?" 😂

JamesMoriarty · 14/12/2020 15:34

@pinkksugarmouse

🤔 I am just thinking for the people on here who say how much they enjoy giving gifts to others, how can you be sure that they are not being polite and gracious. Whilst thinking "when and where can I rehome/regift this?" 😂
You can't be sure but I try to buy "safe" gifts and I'm really conscious of buying unnecessary clutter! So gift vouchers, alcohol I know they like, favourite perfume.
Original poster
grey12 · 14/12/2020 16:45

I am thankful when receiving the gifts but I'm not a liar in any sense of the word...... but if my close family KNOWS I don't like something and insist on gifting it then I would say they're at fault Hmm

OP posts:
TidyOmlette · 14/12/2020 17:01

I like receiving presents but I hate opening them in front of people. I’m always worried by face will give it away if I hate it and I don’t want to seem rude or ungrateful

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