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Original poster

Anyone having the grandparents over

19 replies

Longbarn5 · 12/12/2020 19:22

My very elderly parents will be joining us for Christmas day. Their attitude being that at their age they may not see another Christmas and they will take their chances. Obviously I will love having them with us, assuming that they are well enough to come. Others in the house have jobs that mean they mix with the public quite a bit so I am a bit apprehensive but they really want to come. Anyone else in this situation?

OP posts:
TheRubyRedshoes · 12/12/2020 20:29

I wouldn't hesitate if that's what they want.
(both dp deceased) the cold facts are elderly people can go at any moment.

I'm not surprised they want to take their chances. It's their descion surely?

How would you feel if you said no, then one had a heart attack in Feb and died?

TheRubyRedshoes · 12/12/2020 20:30

PS as others have said, whack heating up, keep room well ventilated and air every so often with doors open.. Only have them serving themselves and keep at reasonable distance..

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 12/12/2020 21:14

I agree with both of you. I absolutely wouldn't have even considered saying no to them and I am really happy that they want to come. I feel truly blessed that we still have them both around. We will have to have the heating high for them anyway. Not too certain about the ventilation though. At their age they dont do vaguely warm air let alone cold air. I will do my best though

OP posts:
TheRubyRedshoes · 12/12/2020 22:07

Well keeping the air moving or at least '' moved '' every so often is the best way to keep them safe!!

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 12/12/2020 22:30

I will give the place some blasts

OP posts:
BerthaBlythe · 13/12/2020 09:12

Depending on the size of your house, would it be possible to move around a bit? Have dinner in one room, and move to another for dessert and coffee. You could ventilate the rooms in between use.

I have hot water bottles and light warm blankets. I got them for garden visits but something like that might be an option if you’re trying to keep air moving.

NotwatchingSpooks · 13/12/2020 09:21

No we are not, we have postponed our gathering until after they are vaccinated.

Our discussion was very open and honest, we would love to see them, but unless they felt that they were going to die in the next month anyway we are better to postpone and keep them well.

They are 82 & 87 and CEV and we know if one gets it and dies the other will have to go into a care home. Which they do not want. They have made some lovely plans with friends who are also CEV so they won’t be alone.
We have one coming home from uni and one at college, so we are aware of how easily we could infect them. We also don’t want the life long sadness that we would all have to consequently live with.

dewisant2020 · 13/12/2020 09:23

I wouldn't need to think twice, invite them over and have a lovely day. Time is so precious when they are older

Bridecilla · 13/12/2020 09:24

Yes. Ours have done school pick ups for us throughout so would be pointless not to.

Usually we'd have everyone together but this year we're having my parents Xmas day and DPs parents on Boxing Day.

tilder · 13/12/2020 09:26

What do you mean by very elderly? Means a different thing to different people.

While I take the point about how would you feel if they died in Feb and you hadn't seen them. For me it's more how would you feel if they caught covid while at yours?

We are not seeing grandparents. They will be vaccinated soon and will see them then.

Toddlerteaplease · 13/12/2020 09:29

I wonder now how many of the very elderly actually want to be protected any more. It's gone on too long. And I'd rather spend my final years surrounded by family.

Perfect28 · 13/12/2020 09:37

Nope. For the sake of one day when the vaccine is just around the corner? Can't you just have a christmas day a month or two later (when they are hopefully vaccinated if they are elderly as you say). You can still have a lovely family day full of food and joy, it doesn't have to be on the 25th of December. I couldn't deal with the guilt of someone dying early and it being my fault, nor could I justify it with 'well they could have died anyway'.

Scarby9 · 13/12/2020 09:38

Work out which seats they should sit on - as far from the open windows as possible - or out of the direct sight line of the opening windows! - and no-one else sits on those. Put them close to each other but as distant as is reasonable from everyone else in the room.
At dinner they should sit opposite one another at one end of the table and have their food plated, or a separate set of serving spoons or even dishes.
Heating up, Christmas presents of large scarves that can be tried out indoors while you open the windows for 20 mins, lots of handwashing and / or sanitizing and don't stay too long.

ScrapThatThen · 13/12/2020 09:48

Hi OP. Yes we are in the same boat. Dm and her husband are coming over on Christmas eve, though we are both watching the warnings and wavering, and dmil is coming on Christmas day. We have officially bubbled with her now and dsil is no longer going into the house when she visits her, so I don't think we will cancel that unless anyone has symptoms. And she is really upset and confused, though sort of understands, about the change to dsil visits. But it is a worry.

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 13/12/2020 15:41

Tgey are both 90!

OP posts:
Original poster
Longbarn5 · 13/12/2020 15:43

I will see if I can ventilate between dining room and lounge. They will only be with us for half of Christmas day so not too bad. Will just take as many precautions as possible.

OP posts:
Ymlaen · 13/12/2020 15:58

We wont be seeing grandparents over Christmas, numbers are going up in Wales and it's not worth the risk. I wouldn't want my teenagers blaming themselves if one of the grandparents got ill.

merlotormalbec · 13/12/2020 16:19

Mine were but as the vaccine is so close they've decided not to. Will be weird not having them but Also it will be more laid back!

Thedarknightsaredrawingin · 13/12/2020 16:34

We were supposed to however things took a turn and we are now waiting to bury FIL. Time is precious, take precautions and enjoy your day together x

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