How many people do you buy for Vs who you'd actually like to buy for?

[longhaulstress]

I have counted up everyone I have to get presents for this year and it's 22 people!

X3 dc's
BF
Parents
X2 siblings
X2 in-laws
1 nephew
X2 friends
X6 friends dc's
BF parents
BF nephew

In an ideal world I'd just like to buy for dc's, bf, my nephew and my parents but hey ho. I've suggested to lots of the above about secret Santa/no gifts but no everyone loves it all. Promise I'm not a grinch just find it overwhelming thinking of that many peoples gifts.

So how many people do you have to buy for versus how many you would actually like to buy for?

I buy for ten; my husband, mum, mum's husband, sister, BIL, nephews X 2, aunt, uncle and a Secret Santa with my friends.

I would like to stop buying for my mum's husband, uncle and aunt. But I only get mum's husband a small box of chocolates and it would cause WW3 if I suggested stopping exchanging gifts with my aunt and uncle so I'll just carry on. We are not a family who buy very extravagant or expensive gifts so it feels manageable.

I don't really buy any - my DS only wants cash - I do buy a few stocking type bits (he's 19 ) .... my DH and I don't exchange gifts - my DPs and I just exchange 'token' gifts - something amusing from a charity shop or similar .... and I send cash to my one niece under 18 - no stress at all.

Mum
Dad
FIL
Step MIL
DH step sister
Aunt
Uncle
Brother and girlfriend
Nieces/nephew x3
Neighbours

I don't mind buying for them all. We usually have a no present rule for adults apart from parents but buy for my brother and DH's step sister as they have no children and they buy for ours. We usually just buy a token gift though

Forgot to add - my neighbour is my best friend so that's why she gets a present!

2 DC
6 nieces and nephews
3 cousins dc
1 best friend
4 parents (both parents re married)
1 client
1 grandparent (only one left)

Would love to cut out some of the nieces and nephew as my DB gets nothing for my dc.

As a family we decided with my side of the family that we would stop buying presents. We only buy for our 10 year old, my 28 year old sd and my best friend. Best thing we ever did.

I buy for:
My 2 DC
My Mum
My Dad
My Nan
My bro
My SIL
My nephew
2 friends

DH sorts his side of the family, in practice this means his parents and nephew. As his bro (who could easily afford to) , unlike mine, doesn't bother to buy for our DC (or even acknowledge their birthdays with a text!) it kind of annoys me that he buys for his nephew, but he's a better person than me . Other than that, which isn't my business anyway, I'm not buying for anyone I don't want to.

Oh and DH and I have agreed not to buy for each other for about a decade now. We both prefer to have one less thing to sort out over getting another present!

I cut my list down a couple of years ago, I used to buy for 19 additional people (outside of my household). I now have 9 additional people, I only actually WANT to buy for 6 of those.

I buy for
2 DC
DP
My Parents (DP sorts out his parents)
2x Step parents
1x aunt
2x cousins
Grandmother

I would be quite happy just to buy token gifts for my DH, dc and parents. I don't actually buy for many more people anyway, but even for my close family I find it difficult buying gifts for people who have everything they need. I'd rather give the money to charity (and the same applies to them buying for me)

Numerically, I buy for about the same number of people as I’d like to. But I’ve dropped gift exchanges with people that I love (friends) and am stuck with others that are more obligation than joy.

I’m only buying for two g
DGCs and my mother.
It’s got ridiculous buying for the sake of it so I’m giving a donation to the Salvation Army instead.
Everyone I used to buy for has much more money than me so I am calling a halt to the ridiculous spending.
Call me Bah Humbug if you like but I am perfectly happy with this decision, less hassle and expense.

Oh christ, I buy for so many. Would love to cut the list down, but can't see how really.

2 dc
DH
Parents
MIL
4x siblings
12x neices and nephews
2x grandparents
BF

If I am seeing friends with kids before Christmas I usually get something for them too, so 3 more.

I save all year round to afford it all!

21 in total this year. It's a bit mad tbh but I probably wouldn't have it any other way. I love buying people presents!

I have a question - do you buy presents from DC to DH, GP and siblings etc. That really adds up at the moment!!

@SwedishEdith it may be odd but it's not a legal requirement 😂 people get so wrapped up in 'i have to buy for this person or that person' that they end up stressing out for the entire season and usually get themselves into debt buying gifts they don't want too! That's not what Christmas is about! (I'm atheist so I'm not even on about the religious side) it should be about the time and memories we share and make with our loved ones.

In laws buy for us so we have to buy for them in return. I wish they would stop, but it’s not my conversation to have.

I had to read your title several times to work out what Vs meant! The capital letter threw me!

I buy for :-
DH
DD
DM & DF
DB & SIL
DH’s DB & SIL
Great Nephew ( until he’s 18)
Nephew ( until he’s 18)
Secret Santa at work ( £5)
I used to buy for close friends, ex neighbours & sometimes colleagues but cut back for financial reasons. We only send a card to DH’s DSIS as they unfortunately fell out.

People I would buy for regardless:
H and the kids
PILs
BIL, SIL and their 2 kids
Other SIL
My sister's 4 kids
GFIL
GAuntIL (!)
Next door

BIL's wife mother buys for my kids, so I feel I have to reciprocate when I wouldn't otherwise. Same for the two people I share an office with, who buy for me so it would be awkward not to.

yearinyearout why don't you have the conversation with friends/family about stopping exchanging gifts - you may find they feel the same but no one wants to 'make the first move'? I did this years ago and everyone happily agreed.

I've made this point many times on Mumsnet but I manage a charity shop and every January we are inundated with unwanted gifts (some still gift wrapped!) - great for us but such a waste of money, time and effort for the present buyers.

x3 DC
x4 godchildren
Best friend
Mum
Dad
Stepmum
Mums best friend
Friend
Friends husband
Friends x2 DC
Cousins DS
9x Nieces & nephews
6x great nieces & nephews

I used to buy my all my nieces & nephews but there's 23 of them so a family decision was made to make the cut off point 18 or when they have their first child whichever comes first.

I'm happy enough with the amount of people I buy for & I always ask what to get the kids as I'd rather buy something they want/need/useful than waste money on something.

I happily buy for:
DH
4x DC
4x Friends’ kids
4x Friends
(Friends and Friends’ kids are all overseas - exchanging gifts at Christmas and birthdays is one of the ways we stay connected)

I semi-reluctantly buy for:
6x Nieces & Nephews
(We actually have 12 nieces & nephews but we split them between all aunts and uncles so we’re only buying for some each year. Some are grateful for anything you buy them and I’m always happy to buy for them - some are ungrateful no matter what you buy, even if it’s something from their Amazon wishlist. I would far rather stop the whole thing and have suggested doing so over several years but have been argued down.)

I HATE buying for:
2x adults in family through secret santa.
(Total waste of time, money and brain space. Like the kids, have suggested stopping many times but been argued down. This year we have said is the last year we are participating and if they want to continue in future years to count DH and I out - none of us want or need anything so more than happy not to receive too. I’m a proper grouch about it.)

@Wowthisisreal

21 in total this year. It's a bit mad tbh but I probably wouldn't have it any other way. I love buying people presents!

I have a question - do you buy presents from DC to DH, GP and siblings etc. That really adds up at the moment!!

Our DS's buy for us, but we don't buy much for each other so it balances out, same for the DS's buying something for each other - I take the money out of the present budget. Grandparents presents are just from all of us

@Ragwort I actually don't buy that many compared to most, only family members but they are all adults apart from two. Everyone else seems to enjoy exchanging presents but I just can't see the point. I'd rather just spend time together/go for a meal etc.

One of my friends buys for 80 odd people, which is just ridiculous. She buys for entire friend's households, including the adults! Her DH goes mad at her every year and I can't imagine all these other families want to exchange gifts for the entire family either, yet nobody puts a stop to it.