At what age do you...

[Winterfairy23]

At what age do you stop buying so much for 'children'?

My niece is late teens. She's my only niece and for context I don't have or plan to have children of my own.

I always spent time putting together nice gifts for her when she was a child then she hit early teens and always asked for money so it was always £50 in a card for Christmas and birthdays. I don't really like giving money as a gift because I like to feel I've got a person an actual thing or experience.

As she has got older she has asked for things again which I prefer, but the handbag costs £60, the next year the trainers cost £75, the most recent item is now £90.

I don't mind spending the money on her at all because, as above, she's my only niece and I love her to pieces. It's not that I can't afford it either, but I also realise this can't go on forever as she grows up being the only adult with that much money being spent on her.

Do you just suddenly cut the spending when they're 18? Or 21?

Mine got cut down a fair bit when my niece was born as she was then the baby of the family then again when I went to uni.

What do you all do/think is reasonable?

I chose to stop at 18 for my nieces, largely because there was never any acknowledgement of the gift. I might otherwise have carried on a little.

Does she buy you a present now she is older? I used to find it a bit annoying that as soon as I was earning and had the money I would send gifts for my aunts and uncles at Christmas but because I was an adult they didn’t buy anything for me. Now I’m older I realise it was probably because they needed to treat us all the same and continuing to buy for a large number of nieces and nephews would have been very expensive!

I'm 30 and my aunt still sends me £20 at xmas.

I think a good time to stop would be after uni, when she then is (hopefully) in employment and living a more adult life. Is that about 21 / 22 usually?

It's a tricky one, we are yet to address it in our family. Niece and Nephew on one side are both older than my DC and both 20+ so it does need addressing. Going to uni or not also changes things IMO.

Like all teenage girls I'm sure your niece has expensive tastes in perfume/skincare/cosmetics which would fit better with your £50 ideal budget - the things on her list are all 'main' presents as far as I see it and I would be embarrassed if my DC sent out a list with only high price items on it.

I think it depends. I usually stop buying at 18 because usually by that age they are working and can buy what they like, but I guess some are at uni at that age and might not be able to afford luxury items so a gift maybe gratefully received.

I think it’s cheeky asking someone for something £50+. I have a budget of £10 for children/teens and at 18 will stop. I have sometimes given token gifts such as chocolate or wine to over 18’s but this year I have decided to stop buying for so many and am buying for under 18’s only.