Does anyone just feel like not doing christmas this year?

[Doublebubblebubble]

Thats a bit hyperbolic but im hating online shopping. I dont feel christmassy. I feel meh. I want to go out to the shops but I'm also terrified to go to the shops. My mum has cancer. Im her carer so it isnt as easy for me to go out. Im hoping all of my amazon purchases come in time.

Do we need to do this this year lol? Can we please have this year off? Anyone else feel this way?

It’s been a bit of a crap year but I’m going to throw everything at Christmas. I’ve spent an inordinate amount of money on outdoor decorations and trees today as I want it to be our best one yet.

I have a 2 year old so it’s becoming quite exciting now. We’re also having family over this year which is a first as we usually keep things quite intimate.

Lots of crafting will be done and I’ve made my pudding, Christmas cake and mince meat is ready to be baked into mince pies.

I’ve definitely gone ott but it brings me a lot of joy.

Usually I love Christmas, it is my time. But we lost DS2 at five months pregnant last weekend and it feels like someone has turned all the fairy lights off. I'm going to have to force myself to put a tree up for DS1. All his presents are bought already thank God, but I just don't care anymore. I'm not buying anything for anyone else.

We've got two things booked, an outdoor santa visit and a light event, and before I really wanted to make things special for DS, who will be just turned 4. But now I'm not fussed if they get cancelled. I might just let my parents take him. They'd like that. And I don't want to ruin the magic for him.

I’m not feeling this way but I understand why some people are. Maybe you can think about what would be an easier Christmas focusing on the things you enjoy and can do. If you can’t be arsed with the tree then don’t do it. If you light the light then light some candles or get some of those LED candles. This is definitely a year to pick and choose the events you want to enjoy.

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I’m a sorry.

I'm looking forward to it. I don't mind online shopping, I hate shopping the best of times anyway, I hate crowds and everyone rushing into each other. I'm looking forward to being able to say no to visitors, even though one of my sil is flying in with her family and she thinks she's staying here 😂😂 she's even invited the rest of the in laws here Christmas day. I wouldn't mind if they were careful, but they've all broken every rule more than once. I've already said to most that we're not having anyone or going anywhere.

Was happy to do a quiet Christmas, but it is marred knowing that about all the twits having big Christmases who will spoil January and February for the rest of us.

Christmas is going to be a total washout in our house. We are not near family and I need to work on some key days so even if we get 5 days grace as is being mooted, I can't see family in that time so can't celebrate with them at all. I'm keeping it going for the kids but there's no joy or fun in it as for me it's a time to be with others.

Christmas itself is not too bad, we are just three of us anyway.

But I miss the rest, browsing shops at 9am to be out when the congestion to the car park starts and relaxing with a Christmas drink and mince pie.

No activities to do, not meeting friends for ice skating and pizza, no party in the office (which is alwasy great and enjoyed), no playful discussions and rearrangement of the tinsel on my desk. No theatre Christmas production by DD's musical school, no Carol Concert.

I fear I will compensate by baking too much.

We will start decorating next weekend as it is the 1st Advent Sunday, maybe my spirit will be back then.

Our Christmas is always low key...just me and DD 16 and seeing my elderly parents who live round the corner, which we'll still do as caring for my dad.

I prefer online shopping and we don't really do a lot of out and about stuff or see extended family.

Biggest issue for me is whether or not my dad will be here...he was diagnosed with end of life stage frailty in April and is still hanging in there just so it's a bit difficult to plan anything.

for everyone who's already suffered a loss this year.

It’s not much different for us than previous years though I am kind of missing looking around shops (especially for stocking fillers), I do most of my shopping online anyway but usually go shopping with a friend and enjoy getting a Christmas Costa and a mince pie while we are out, won’t be doing that this year. We do have a evening out booked for festival of light at Longleat but unsure if that will go ahead. Lots of local national trust places are doing lights too so we might go to one of those if safe to do so.

We usually stay at home Christmas Day as both dc’s have ASD and hate going anywhere for Christmas, I expect my dad will pop over but other than that we don’t see anyone Christmas Day so this year won’t be much different.

I think next year we will plan for a big Christmas with family and friends.

Same. I usually adore Christmas and the magic of the season. My children are so excited already and I’m doing everything to make it feel magical for them but deep down I’m just faking it and wishing January would hurry up. My son is going through some really difficult MH issues and tbh seeing perfect families smugly enjoying Christmas is killing me.

I'm making xmas as wonderful as I can as it really is my happy place.

We are used to being just the 5 of us, so that's no real change for us, but I do miss going round our local shopping centre and seeing all the lights and the buzz as people complete their shopping or dash about on lunch breaks. The kids excitement of activities at school and the xmas party my karate club would do each year.

I think it's a very strange one this year. I have 90% of my shopping done (online) unheard of for me at this time of the year, I might only be thinking about it at this stage normally.

So that part feels good and we got everything we needed / wanted too so no last minute panicking. Financially it's great too to have it all done and dusted 5 weeks before it's needed and still have 5 weeks wages to come in.

There will just be 3 of us most likely this year as my parents are medically vulnerable and live 3 hours drive away so if restrictions are lifted we'll drive up and back to see them in a day and socially distance etc while we're there.

DH and I were feeling a bit deflated about it all but have decided it's really what we make it and it's in our control to make it better rather than worse for dd's sake.

We have thrown some money at it and have splashed out on some very nice gifts for each other. We travel a lot usually and we were only on 1 trip this year before the covid broke and nothing since so we used that money to spend on Christmas instead.

We will do our usual full works for Christmas Dinner and have stockings full of luxury things and favourite seasonal foods and treats and main gifts.

We will decorate the house as we always to and I am starting to look forward to it a bit now I have to say. Work is also manic (wfh) and I'm really looking forward to the break.

We will get through it and I appreciate that we are in a fortunate position - we're healthy and have the means to celebrate it and I know it's not the same for everyone and there are a lot of people who will really suffer this Christmas - perhaps alone, or bereaved, or not enough food etc and it's this thought that stops me from falling into self pity as I have it fairly easy by comparison, even though I would love to have my parents here as is our custom. Especially as they get older and frailer. But better that they are safe and healthy this year.

I just wish it wasn’t happening. I can face the online shopping and spending. Or the cooking and ‘good cheer’. However I’m longing to see my son who hasn’t seen us for a year. We will now only get five days together and he will struggle to afford the cost of travel, particularly as the whole country will also now be travelling on those five days.
My adult daughter had to choose between seeing her boyfriend in another country for five days or us. She is a student and has no money so travel is hard for her to afford too. So Xmas is not looking great.

I cannot be bothered this year or any year

But I have a toddler and have barely seen my family this year. So will be nice for my child to see grandparents and cousins. We live far away from them

Oh no op, give it time, I'm feeling very Xmassy.
Obviously you're a little stuck at the moment..
Xmas is about atmosphere, decorating, music candles.
I've had Xmas in grand surroundings and humble, the best are always with low atmospheric lighting, twinkly lights, grotto like Dec's, and good scents and music.

Doesn't need anything else...

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise - Sorry for your loss -

I’m looking forward to Christmas. We’ve hooked an AirBNB near to the in laws. Best news is although we can see them outside ( shielding) , we don’t actually have to have lunch with them so we can have a chilled Christmas.
I’m a bit miffed I’m still shelling a fortune on presents for a low key Christmas though.

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I'm very sorry for your loss

On the contrary for me to be honest, I’m looking forward to it more than ever.
We aren’t having any guests (usually we host for around 24ish which is lovely but busy and just rushed off our feet all day) so it will just be the 5 of us with potentially our lovely friends popping round later on in the evening.
I have never taken the dc to see Father Christmas or gone to Christmas light switch ons or carol services so they won’t feel like they’re missing out. We do walk round some streets where they go all out with lights and decorations and we usually have an outdoors christmas get together with our neighbors and their children (mainly teens now) who are similar ages to ours which we think we will still able to do. We get the patio heaters out and do pizzas in the outdoor oven, have a few drinks and sparklers, it’s a nice way to kick back and celebrate finishing work for most of us.
I do all my shopping online as can’t be arsed with crowds, carrying stuff about busy shops, traffic etc.
It’s just going to be all the more relaxing for us really.
I’m mainly disappointed that we aren’t having our annual New Years holiday with dh and his siblings and their dc, it’s our favourite holiday of the year and something lovely to look forward to, ending the year with some of our favourite people and beginning the new one with them all too. There’s always next year.

I'm also not feeling it this year. Xmas day/boxing day won't be much different to any other year but the build up is definitely difficult this year.

I'm really struggling with shopping online for Xmas presents. I am doing ok with the kids' stuff but really struggling for other family members. Usually I go to the local shopping centre and get everything in a "sod the money, let's get it done" rush. It's not happening online

I did enjoy putting the decorations up on Saturday.

Many years ago I opted out of Christmas as I live alone and am not christian. Once I trained my family to observe my wishes and not to buy me gifts I felt tremendous relief. For me it was just X days off work with no pressure to go anywhere or do anything. Several years I went away to non christian countries where christmas day was just another day.

Nowadays Im retired from employed work and christmas is just the same as any other day. Several members of the family have said they envy me and have made a concerted effort to cut down on gifts and expenditure this year using covid as the excuse.

Oh @AlexaPlaywhitenoise I'm so sorry for your loss . I had a stillbirth of twins 8 years ago and used to hang around on the bereaved forum here for a while. Those ladies really genuinely helped me. Xxx lighting my candles for you right now xx