Autism and anxiety re gifts

[52andblue]

I have two teens with ASD.
Eldest ds is 16. No interest in clothes music books etc
Wants an EDC pocket organiser that doesn't actually exist.
Wants a swiss army knife combo that doesn't exist (and there is enough of them...)
Dd is 13. Also ASD. Never knows what she'd like. Ditto re smellies/ books/clothes. Also wants a multitool / EDC type arrangement
Previous year she asked for boxes of tissues and a kilo of cheese.

I feel awful though. I should be able to come up with more than this.
They are amazingly un-materialistic. But really really specific about what they like. There are still some chocs / socks/ stocking fillers unopened from last year.
I don't want to put pressure on them re 'a list'. I feel I should know myself. But I don't :( And I'd like them to have a few little things to unwrap as it's been a horrible year for them.

It's a lovely feeling when you know just what to get someone, and see them enjoy the surprise, but don't beat yourself up for not being a mindreading wizard who can magic up gifts. It genuinely sounds like they don't need things to unwrap, and they don't need or want surprises either.

I'd just be totally honest with them and say that you can't find the exact things they have asked for and to let you know if they see something they want.

Oh bless. Those are difficult ages even without adding SN to the mix.

And this is a hard year. Mine haven’t been inside a shop since March and it’s astonished me how much that drives desire. They don’t know what to want this year.

Take them shopping and allow them to get there own gifts. Wrap them and put them under the tree. The surprise aspect of presents can cause anxiety anyway.

*Their own
Don’t want the pendants coming for me

My 13yr old DS has ASD and i have never been able to get him a present from a toy shop, I'm always scouring the internet from August onwards looking for things he will like. However he does have multiple intense interests (frequent changing of these though) so I tend to stick around these themes and get him gadgets/techy/retro things. Usually I'm bidding on ebay for stuff but he generally loves what he gets.
Whats the organiser and multi tools for? Can you get other things related to this?

What about a 3D printer that they can program to make whatever they want?

Love the ‘ kilo of cheese’ my dd (ASD) would ask for the same 🤣

I know what you mean, it is hard, both of mine have ASD, eldest (16) is one of those that makes doe with what she already has, she doesn’t see the need for me to spend money unless she needs something. She is getting a ipad but doesn’t know as she would never ask me for one as she thinks they are way too expensive.

Dd2 (14) hasn’t really asked for anything, I’m kind of worried that she will be disappointed with what I have got her because she hasn’t asked for any of it. I tend to buy her the same each year, she usually has Lego but I can’t really find any sets that would wow her this year other then the really expensive sets which I can’t afford.

Thank you for all the replies x

yes I've been honest with them.
they don't 'do' shops at all - 'can't see the point of them'

Yy to intense but changing interests.
So far I have a penknife, a multitool and a leather belt holder for those items. Except they don't fit, argh! and the pocket organiser Ds thinks he wants is only made in US and is $100. I cant afford that and he would be upset if I ordered it as 'it's not worth it, mum'.
He'd be devastated if I ordered an iPad as they are 'not worth it' either.
They don't much like Days Out / Experiences either, though I'm planning a trip to Bletchley Park next summer.
It's tricky, isn't it?

Interestingly, this is the first year they are solo organising their gifts for each other (much complaint from Dd that Ds is 'ridiculously over specific and never knows what he wants'. Ha ha!
They do also say they've got some thing for me this year (single parent) so that is really lovely. But it makes me feel even worse about literally having a pen knife and chocs each for them so far....

Ds and dd have autism. Ds gives me a list, I stick religiously to the list (usually video games and a hoodie) because he is stressed out by surprises. I am allowed to buy things not on the list for his stocking but they are usually fiddle toys and I bought him themed socks last year that were a hit so will buy more this year. If there is something in his stocking he doesn't like he leaves it on the table for me to get rid of without comment.
Dd is easier because she likes crafts and art alongside the video games and she likes fluffy things so tend to buy her pyjamas and throws as well. My older ones send them specific links for a gift for me as they buy birthday gifts and mine is Christmas day.