When did you kids start giving presents?

[didireallysaythat]

Every year I buy all the presents, and when I wrap them I label some to DS1 from DS2, when neither have had any involvement.

When did your kids either help choose gifts or even contribute to the cost? They can't come up with ideas for themselves, let alone others

How old are they? I would say that from the time they start school they're old enough to be involved in choosing something for parents/siblings, even if it's from the pound shop

DD1 and DD2 (age 10 & 8) like shopping for each other as it’s time alone with me! They usually buy each other a bar of chocolate but I like the sentiment as it’s something that they’ve chosen and enjoy watching the other one open it more than if I’d given them something to give, I think.

Mine have always made Christmas presents for relatives. Started simple using stickers to make a calendar, then moved onto kits from baker Ross. More recently have made candles, written stories etc.

My children are 3 and 5 and I already take them to choose a gift they want to buy for daddy or their sibling birthdays. We haven't done it for Christmas yet but will soon.

My boys were about 8 & 13 when I started giving them money to go around the shopping centre buying something for DH and I. The first couple of years I would take them and sit somewhere whilst they went off, the last couple of years DS1 has taken his brother on the bus into to town to buy things.

Around age five. They choose something for each other and I shop for it then I help them choose something for DH and he does the same for me.

@frustrationcentral

My boys were about 8 & 13 when I started giving them money to go around the shopping centre buying something for DH and I. The first couple of years I would take them and sit somewhere whilst they went off, the last couple of years DS1 has taken his brother on the bus into to town to buy things.

Just realised I totally misread the question

Anyway, they've been choosing something for each other for the past couple of years. Usually something clothing related

I would bring dd shopping for DH's present from about age 2, and he for me about age 3. In the school winter fair, there was an elves grotto where 6th class elves helped younger children pick and wrap,a,present from a fairly decent if random selection for their parents in secret - you paid €2 per present in advance ( and parents used to bet which presents they'd be told as soon as dc came back to the hall, and which rare ones would be a surprise on 25th!).

I think she was about 7 or 8 when she started having concrete ideas for us rather than just accepting a suggestion from the other.

I always took them choose with me from about 2. Now aged 5 and 8 they have really clear ideas but don’t pay for it themselves yet. They both really enjoy choosing presents for their dad ( my ex) and each other.

Ah ok I can see a thing here. We don't like shopping (it's not a leisure activity for us) so even before covid I think the last time we went into the city to go shopping would have been summer of 2019 maybe? (It's such a faff, drive, park, park and ride, tourists, students, stress). So we just don't have those wander into a shop, see something, think 'oh grandma would like that' moment (we also don't do gifts beyond our siblings kids and once they hit 10 cash is king).

They're 10 and 14-15 so probably past making Xmas cards for each other stage. I don't think they are particularly mercenary (they didn't want anything for their birthdays) - but I do wonder how I get them to think about others a bit more.

Well ds chose a Spiderman figure for Daddy which has lived in Ds's toy box since.... So Def put rules in lol.

I think really from school age as pp said they can help, either with rules or more standards. As for paying, it depends. If they both get equal generous pocket money they have control over it isn't unreasonable to say we're going shopping next week do you want to keep some money to buy presents but I'd make sure they both spend the same.

Mine started helping choosing from 2 or 3 - at that age it was something like choosing the colour for a jumper, or picking out some garish socks for DH, or choosing a box of chocolates from the shelf, but if they had completely their own idea, I often went with it (depending on the recipient) - they make their own choices now at 13 and 9, but I will still offer suggestions if they ask.

They started contributing towards the cost of presents to siblings, DH or me when they first had pocket money, but I still give them a bit of boost in funds as Christmas present money at the beginning of December.

They like helping to choose gifts for grandparents, cousins etc, but I wouldn't expect them to contribute to the cost.

We did it from a young age, I would give them each some pound coins and let them loose in poundland as I hovered at the end of the aisle. Now they go into town (in non covid times) either with friends or each other. I don't see shopping as a leisure activity but something which is necessary to aquire goods. Do they have their own money/bank accounts? Can you set them up with an amazon account? Part of learning to buy gifts is thinking about what the other person likes. At 10 and 14 they should be able to do this.

I don't think there's a specific age but I absolutely hate the principle of buying presents from kids when they have had no involvement at all with them.

Nobody will be getting anything other than handmade craft stuff from my DD until she's old enough to have some input.

Oh my goodness, I thought you were going to say they were 4 or 5. They are definitely old enough, and I'm surprised they haven't started it themselves as I expect their friends will be buying (or at least choosing or involved in the choosing) their own gifts for siblings, parents and friends. 'I've got my mum a...' is a fairly common conversation.

We started at the age of 5ish (so school age as others say) and with a tiny budget. I used to choose a bath cube and be excited for my mum opening it. A small tube of chocolate liqueurs for my dad.

Once we got pocket money it included our brownie or cub subs, church collection ( to teach us to budget through the week, I suppose) and to 'save up for presents'.

By the age of your children I was choosing surprise gifts for my parents and buying from my brother either from suggestions from my parents or what I thought he might like (hot wheels car). Sometimes I paid with my own money, sometimes subsidised.

Most of the primary schools round here have a secret present room at their Christmas fair (not this year obviously, but your kids are past that age anyway). No adults allowed in. There is a selection of little gifts - bath cubes (first time I had seen them since my childhood!), pencils, rubbers, packets of sweets, notebooks etc. Children pay £50p or £1, choose something for their parent, then take it to the wrapping table where they choose paper, ribbon and gift card and are helped to wrap it. Really, really popular and the children are so excited and proud.

In families I know, each parent does something similar with each child - takes them out alone on a guided buying trip for the other parent and sibling.

To kickstart it with your kids now, I would give everyone a budget (up to £5 or £10 per person) and go to a reasonably neutral place eg. Wilko or a garden centre and have half an hour to choose and buy. Goffer a range of food, books and gifty things, a smallish budget means not too much money wasted on unwanted tat! They need to learn sometime how to choose for someone else.

Teenagers are quite tricky to buy for so I wouldn't be shocked to find DS2 needed some help choosing. I only have 2 kids and they have always bought each other presents since dc2 popped out of the womb (DH was worried about sibling rivalry). They started to have input about what from the age of about 2. Given they now receive pocket money they should be paying but their dad is a soft touch! I'll start that next year, easier for them to pay for something in a shop than give me cash for something I ordered online.

I have three DC age 11 to 15. Usually, all five of us go to a Christmas market in early Dec, make it a family day out and they each have a budget and choose presents for each other and me and DH (we separate into different combinations so it's a surprise for everyone).

This year obviously there won't be any Christmas markets, and tbh I think they were getting a bit old for it anyway (sniff!). So I've told them that they need to come up with some ideas, and that I'll help them with ordering the presents online. They've already had some thoughts about it. Looks like DS2's present to DS1 will involve a LOT of chocolate

Pretty much never, seems odd to give a gift from them when they have no idea of what it is, money, purchasing etc. Once ours were around 16yo they then participated in an extended family Secret Santa but was easier as people did wish lists. We gave them the money though for it and still do except for the eldest who is now out of uni and earning their own money, they need to use their own money. Apart from this, the kids have never purchased presents for us or each other and we have never given a present ‘from them’. I’d be weirded out if they did as until they get a proper job we fully finance them so essentially they’d be getting me a gift with my own money or siblings gifts with my money , that can wait until they get their own money.

Their presents to each other cost around £10-20 each btw. So not massive but more of a 'it's the thought that counts' thing.

In large families I know they tend to batch buy presents - from 2 or 3 siblings to another child. So in very large families you might get something from your eldest siblings and something from the younger ones.

I think mine started choosing presents for siblings at about 5. My 13 yo DS has paid for his present for his DS this year. He now gets an allowance rather than a smaller amount of pocket money. He also will pay for his best friend's present. They both will buy something from their money for the gifts for the homeless we put together. I will still pay for their gift to their dad and their gift to DP. Their dad will pay for them to get me a gift too.

@didireallysaythat - I’m not a shopper either. They can look online though? Mine tend to have ideas and then this year we have looked online together and they have chosen ( as they are young). Have to say not sure if they will be as enthusiastic when they are paying but have to hope they will!

DSC aged 6 "helps" to choose their present to mummy & daddy (DPs ex doesn't get DP anything from DSC).

It mainly involves me picking things up & asking if M/D would like this. If you ask they currently just go I don't know. Although they have spotted the odd thing.
DPs ex gets about £5 spent on them as its more of a token. DP gets up to about £20 but it's from whatever budget I've set to spend on them so no extra cost.

We think it's good to learn about giving & thinking of others. As they get older we'll expect a bit more input but whether they pay anything towards it will probably depend on whether there's siblings / how much pocket money we give.

I don't think I contributed to presents until I was 16 & for extended family not till I was out of college.

My 13 year old doesn't, but I certainly bought gifts for all the family by that age. Not sure where the money came from.

@littlestpogo - trying to get my teenager to sit down e.g. in front of Amazon sounds like a challenge. If it was wrapped up as Instagram maybe it could work. It's a weird thing - if they don't know of things "they" want, maybe it's hard for them to think of things that others do? I had a look at one of the threads here about what teenage boys/girls are getting and had to stop looking as I couldn't believe the amount of stuff on lists. I had to Google what some of the things were - I honestly didn't know that they might want a £200 chair to sit on to play games and a mini fridge by their bed for, well, whatever?