Are you doing presents for your DC’s class teacher?

[Fivemoreminutes1]

The teachers are gong above and beyond at my DC’s school, but not sure whether a present will be frowned upon because of the circumstances. What are you doing?

Yes but we do a class collection and do an e voucher. Usually John Lewis or Amazon.

Our school said no gifts, physical or vouchers, but a donation to the school as fundraising has taken a hit this year. They want to buy in children's mental health services which is much needed. My dd's class usually raises £300 for teacher so we're donating that to the school fund instead.

Dd went to school throughout lockdown and I sent in flowers for her teacher at the end of term will do the same at Christmas as she told dd nobody buys her flowers. Small independent specialist so with just five in a class teacher is unlikely to be inundated with gifts.

Yes. I’m sending in tins of chocs for the staffroom and individual gifts for each DC’s main teacher and TA, about £10 each.
I don’t understand when people say ‘they’re just doing their job’ and yet most people are happy to tip a hairdresser or taxi driver. We entrust our children to these teachers for 30+ hours a week. Assuming they are doing at least a decent job, why not send a token of appreciation once or twice a year? My children absolutely love their teachers so far this term, so I’m more than happy to.

Singapore a token of appreciation is a drawing/note from my son.

I refuse to buy gifts for teachers, I find it competitive, rather arse-licking and a waste of money: "yeah, cheers, here's a bottle of £5 wine/cheap box of chocolates/shit candle". They're generic and take little thought.

elQuintoConyo your initial response was “Nope. Never do”, why didn’t you say that you’re sending in a note then? That’s a lovely gesture, no one said it had to be an expensive gift.
I’m sure some staff would be perfectly happy with any of those ‘shit’ gifts though. If others aren’t, they can regift or donate. Personally I do put some thought into the gifts, but it’s certainly not to compete with other parents, who will never know what the gifts were. And I would hope most teachers receiving gifts from children would accept them with the intended gratitude, not wonder what their parents were hoping to gain from it.
When I round up my hairdresser’s charge, or add a cash tip, I’m sure they don’t think I’m trying to suck-up or out-do other customers. Surely it’s the same thing here?

@SingaporeSlinky I must be tight then. I don’t tip taxi drivers or hairdressers either.

[quote MinnieMountain]@SingaporeSlinky I must be tight then. I don’t tip taxi drivers or hairdressers either.[/quote]
I don't either. Haven't ever been described as tight though.

It’s not about being tight. I’ve always just known it as the ‘done thing’.
Some people leave Christmas tips for refuse collectors, posties, milkmen etc as well. I’ve had a carpenter go above and beyond for me before, so tipped him as well. I don’t see it any differently.

"it's not about being tight" no, but it might be about being poor and the inability to keep up with the Joneses and feeling totally shitty about it. Sometimes the middle classes can't see beyond the end of their own wallets.

In our school it does feel like competitive parenting but that's because the school specifically requests no presents and every year there's parents stood at the gates flashing gift bags and presents around! I don't understand the insistence to go against what they've asked for, it's not a difficult thing to do!

elQuinto what makes you think I’m middle classed?? Because I can afford a few £10 presents?
Everyone is of course entitled to do whatever the hell they like, it’s personal preference and circumstances.

I’ve never seen any parents flashing gifts around, it’s normally the kids carrying them in and apart from bunches of flowers or plants, I’ve never been able (or needed) to see what’s been inside them. I don’t give the gifts to show off, I do it to say thank you to the teachers.

When I round up my hairdresser’s charge, or add a cash tip, I’m sure they don’t think I’m trying to suck-up or out-do other customers. Surely it’s the same thing here?

You can't see the competitiveness of this? Oh look how wonderful I am tipping everyone I meet! Just round it up, just add another £5 or £10.

Our school have sent a message saying that they aren’t accepting gifts but that they will accept vouchers this year (with the usual language that this is optional, not expected, etc etc).

We have done a class collection of up to £10 each and then getting vouchers for the teacher, TA and music teacher. If the school are ok to accept physical vouchers, I’m sure they would be ok to accept a gift, so it seems a bit inconsistent. That said, I think that vouchers are usually more appreciated than gifts (especially M&S or JL/Waitrose so they can do their Christmas shopping if they wish!).

It might be worth emailing the school to ask

Just to note, the school is private so £10 is not considered to be a level which would make anyone feel uncomfortable about donating. I think that if it was a state school with pupils from a broader range of economic backgrounds, that a lower donation level and focus on it being optional would be appropriate.

I sent cakes in toward the end of what passed for the summer term for the staffroom. Bought the boxed and individually wrapped Mr Kipling type and Mini Roll bar ones, took straight from the supermarket round to the school so made it as covid safe as I could do. They weren't refused.

I did suggest to the head they could make them do 72 hours in the time out corner if she wanted - the reply was that cake didn't last 72 seconds in that staffroom!

Not sure what I'm doing this term for Christmas - one of the teachers has gone a bit overboard and is refusing to even handle sheets of paper the kids touch and wanting Christmas cards quarantined so I might just skip it - the other one is very much the reverse and business as usual with it all.

@SingaporeSlinky I'm not implying that you're showing off, I'm saying that showing off is the only reason I can think of for parents taking in presents when the school has specifically asked them not to. There's a certain arrogant 'I know best' attitude which rubs me up the wrong way but it's all year round not just in this situation.

Our school have sent a message saying that they aren’t accepting gifts but that they will accept vouchers this year (with the usual language that this is optional, not expected, etc etc).

Oh that's a bit harsh, the minimum people can usually get on a voucher is £10. Many parents would normally spend much less £3/4 on chocolates.

Some teachers I haven't particularly appreciated but this years teacher is ace. I really really want to thank her for her efforts, I was going to send a bottle but have just decided that a voucher would be easier.
If you are given a Sainsbury's voucher, could you buy an Amazon or other store voucher with it?

elQuinto it’s hardly ‘tipping everyone I meet’
I don’t think I’m wonderful for doing it either, I don’t know why that’s so hard to compute. A few quid here and there hardly makes me a saint.

The thread was about gifting teachers anyway, and MY answer is yes, for me it’s showing a little kindness and appreciation in the way I choose to.

@Bikingbear I think this particular school is used to parents clubbing together and doing a class gift, so I didn’t take the suggestion of a voucher negatively. I’m sure that if this wasn’t the norm in the school, I’d be a bit about the suggestion!

We are definitely going to send a handmade card just from my DS, but definitely not an individual gift.

Makes sense if schools are used to group gifts. One of the mums tried to organize a group gift one year but I she think felt it was more hassle than it was worth.

We’ll be contributing £10 into the class collection

@Bikingbear seems to work pretty well in my son’s class, but I think we have been quite lucky to not have anyone who has been slow in transferring the money online (I can very easily imagine it being difficult). It takes about 2 weeks to collect the money (max) and then whoever is doing the collection picks up a voucher when they are at marks and spencer (we have a food hall near the school) or buy an e-voucher and print it out. We have some alpha mummies in the school, so they chivvy everyone along nicely (but oh so politely and gently)!

I don't want to criticise but I think the issues were partly related to organisation via FB, half the kids are bused to school. So issues discussing it and collecting the money. Hindsight it would have been better to ask for a contribution and for a mum to collect cash at the gates.

I am definitely! Kids have made a little snow globe, iv had cakes made for them all - as their are support teachers etc and then a little letter saying thank you and they've done an amazing job and a mug and slippers? I may have over done it but I think the ones of the kids are personal and the mug and slippers are to say "go home and chill" hahha my ds has a lot of extra support as he has extra needs so want to say how greatful i am