Shit, my child has just trumped me with Santa. What the hell do you say in this instance?

[justanotherneighinparadise]

My seven year old wants a certain expensive toy. Four year old wants a different version of it. I say, woah kids this stuff is crazy money. I don’t think it’s worth the price tag in terms of the play I think you’ll get out of it, so I’m happy to buy one version but it will be a shared toy for both of you.

Seven year old then says it’s okay, he’ll put it on his Santa list and Santa can bring it. Four year old says he’ll do the same. What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?!!!

We always thought that stockings & presents were from Father Christmas.

But being on a list/requested wasn't a guarantee that it would apear on Christmas Day.

Because you wouldn't get everything that you ever mentioned!

The letter to Santa is a wish list, not an order form. Your kids should know they won’t be getting exactly what they ask for.

My mum told the kids that Santa sends me the bill for what he gives them. Brilliant, thanks mum

We also do "Mummy and Daddy give Santa the money". It also nicely explains why Mummy and Daddy buy presents for everyone in the family except for their own children!

Santa doesn’t like greedy children and if you ask for too much or something too expensive you get nothing at all- our usual go to that works

The thing to do is to govern what they put in the letter to Santa.

This is the point where to tell them to save up for this item themselves and perhaps ask relatives to give money towards this item this year instead of an actual gift.

This happened to me one year when I was a kid and the sense of achievement when I had the money together was huge and a good lesson in money management.

Some years I’m more flush than others and I love to spoil my children but it does depend on my finances that year. My children know I buy the presents (with the elf fairy 😉), wrap them up and their stored in my room until 23rd December when the elves collect the presents and Santa checks them over at the North Pole, if the children are on the nice list etc and then Santa delivers them. Given how much the world has grown Santa can’t afford to buy all the presents in the world so Mam and Dad buy them to help Santa out. Kids have accepted this and have never questioned it! I also think it’s important that my children know that we buy the presents as I know compared to other children in their school they are incredibly lucky with how much is spent and I wouldn’t want them to brag Santa got me this etc. They still write lists, post them to Santa and the elf fairy helps me when I shop.

In our house, Santa would never bring anything parents disapproved of. Hence the lack of consoles/phones/etc while others got them.

You don't agree with them getting both, Santa won't deliver both.

@Merriden

I tell my kids that I have to send Santa the money which helps to manage expectations.

I did this too. "Mummy has to pay Santa" worked a treat.

We've always worked on the basis that there is one "big" (i.e. generally more expensive) present under the tree from us, whereas Santa brings a selection of smaller presents that go in stockings. Somehow it got through to the DC not to ask Santa for the bike, camera or whatever.

Do you always get them everything on the list? Just make the list a suggestion for Santa rather than a list of demands?

Santa brings the stockings in our house .
And an apple and an orange in it ,with bits of tat

I've never been very literal about Santa. Yes, they can write a list, put out carrots for the reindeer, hang up stockings etc, but I've always taken the line that it's a fun game to play rather than a literal visitation!

If you do want to buy them this item between them, just leave it under the tree addressed to both of them. Santa doesn't have any rules about not being able to share gifts, as far as I know.

This is finally the first year I don't have any dc that believe in it so it makes our lives so much easier

We can still have the magic and fun that goes with Xmas and they will still have sacks in their rooms like the older ones still have but it kind of takes the pressure off.

22 years of pretending is finally over and as fun and lovely as it's been I won't miss the creeping around and having to stay up late late to do the sacks or flour foot prints

I would have just laughed it off, said 'I don't think Santa won the lottery this year, don't forget he is buying a present for every child in the world, he will soon run out of money if you ask him for toys like that' and I wouldn't mention the gift again.

But, if I could I would beg, borrow do whatever to get the gift even if I didn't approve of it, you've got 18 Christmases with your kids at home before they're all grown-up and seeking magic elsewhere, that's if you're lucky. Every single one counts.

We just keep it vague and say the presents are from us and Santa, and that we have to pay for them, that's why some children get more than others. This kind of strategic thinking has come up in our house too - esp with one of the DC's birthdays not long before Xmas, and I remember my brother doing it too as a kid. I don't think it's greedy, especially at your DC's age - it's fine to say that some things are too much but that they'll still get plenty!

(Aged about 5 I was caught praying to the Baby Jesus on Xmas Eve, asking him to please tell Santa about a toy I'd forgotten to put on my list , amazingly Santa got the message and delivered the goods but it didn't turn me into entitled brat).

Surely they don’t just think they’ll get what’s on the list? I used to be lucky if I got one thing from my Christmas list! They’ll get one toy between then and they’ll live.

Santa doesn't bring big expensive toys. Do you buy them presents from you as well as the stocking? I used to ask DS what he wanted from me (budget £50-100) and to write a Santa letter too which was smaller things

Is it the Nintendo Switch and the Lite that they want? Hell of a lot of money just for one of them, let alone both...

Santa only bring stocking fillers in our house! Saves all the arguments about expensive gifts.

@GhostOfChristmasPudding

You’ve said you would be happy to buy one version for them to share, so I would go with that route, possibly. Perhaps with a small note from Santa saying how he knows they will share nicely, etc. so don’t need one each? And then next year lay on thick how they shouldn’t ask for anything too big/expensive again as Santa would think it was greedy.

Like a pp, I was always told to thank Santa for last years’ gifts in my letters, and not to be greedy or I might not get anything. Mind you, never stopped me writing out half the Argos catalogue.

That’s a good idea! I don’t mind doing that.

We were always taught as kids that Santa brings one present, not the main present, and all other presents were from mum and dad, family etc. This way we knew to thank mum and dad, family member etc. My kids were also taught this way... this way we could manage their expectations by saying we couldn’t afford whatever they wanted if it was out of our price range.
Kids need to know that there are other kids in the world - hence only 1 present from Santa. I also think it’s important to thank other people for presents they have bought, my kids enjoyed helping choosing presents and wrapping presents for everyone else.
My own children also do this with their children, I feel it stops children being too greedy and to understand that, unfortunately, they can’t always have what they want.

This is such a tough one - my DC both have friends who would easily have over £1000 spent on them at Christmas so it did appear that they had been much “nicer” (although unsurprisingly they really weren’t ).

Like lots of posters have said we did the “Santa gets the stocking presents” thing then we could explain that the other presents were from us. It’s hard though because then what’s the point of a Christmas list??

We always emphasised to our kids that Santa was only the delivery agent. That parents bought the gifts and sent them off to santa to deliver.

@ThatsMeChickenArm

The thing to do is to govern what they put in the letter to Santa.

This is the point where to tell them to save up for this item themselves and perhaps ask relatives to give money towards this item this year instead of an actual gift.

This happened to me one year when I was a kid and the sense of achievement when I had the money together was huge and a good lesson in money management.

We have a very small family unfortunately as we had kids late in life so there’s not a bundle of people who buy for them, hence trying to make sure I bulk out there presents with second hand stuff.

Birthdays have also been affected due to covid lockdown cancelling out the super exciting Lapland trip we had booked. So it’s all a bit of a damp squib right now.