It’s funny, but I remember as a child my mother being very disapproving of the growing trend at birthday parties to open presents there and then. She was a stickler for good manners and firmly believed that gifts should be opened privately and a thank you letter written.
I can see her point. I don’t feel as strongly as others on this thread, but I don’t really enjoy getting gifts. I’m not sure I can put it in words - it’s something about being obligated or beholden for something I didn’t ask for or particularly want. I think it’s rooted in emotional manipulation in my childhood because it’s a very deep instinct and not remotely logical. I play along on birthdays and Christmas but I’d honestly be happier not to get gifts.
OP, you are completely entitled to feel how you do. Just because your reactions or desires don’t conform to convention doesn’t make you wrong.
These are just some brainstorming suggestions that might help
Would it be easier if you were told what the gift was before opening it?
Could your partner or another adult find out from your dc for you and let you know before hand?
Could you ask adults to tell you theirs in advance so you can enjoy the wrapping knowing what is under and have time to process it.
Could you use a wishlist?
Or would it help if your gifts were in boxes or bags so that the wrapping wasn’t destroyed in the process of opening it?
This is something you could ask for, as a reasonable accommodation or encourage in your dc for environmental reasons too.
Would you rather open them privately?
You might be able to create a sense of privacy by half turning away to open, ducking your head so people aren’t seeing your face.