MIL warned me about buying present for partners GM?

[tw1698]

Hi all,

Just looking for some inspiration! I have been with my partner for 2 years and thankfully his family treat me like one of their own, when buying gifts, myself and my partner put together and buy from both of us.

Last Xmas we bought my partners GM a super soft blanket and she absolutely loved it! Following this, MIL said she wish she had thought of that because in the 25 years her and FIL have been together, all her gifts to her have fallen flat. (e.g. she told me that after buying GM expensive perfume - GM asked MIL if she though she stunk and threw a little strop)

It has really thrown me off - she is super hard to buy for. She is retired and alone, doesn't leave the house unless to go to church dinners and at home, watches NCIS/CSI on DVD on repeat and does crosswords.

On interrogation of DP, he has said his GM has been like this since he remembers - never really held any interests or hobbies.

On her birthday this year, we bought her a lovely pen to do crosswords with but it really took my last brain cell to come up with that idea.

What do you buy a hard to buy for GM?? Any inspiration would be greatly appreciated!

Electric blanket for the sofa, coverless duvet, they just go straight into any washing machine and are dry in 90 minutes if hung over a door or outside - it saves getting duvet covers on and off, magazine rack for all those crossword books, cashmere gloves and scarf.

I put a hamper together for my grandmother, I include all her favourite things. As well as foods I add stamps, envelopes, cleaning wipes for her glasses, hand cream and other useful items.

In case anyone fancies getting me a coverless duvet this year here's the link:

www.johnlewis.com/the-fine-bedding-company-night-owl-coverless-duvet-4-5-tog/p4901125?sku=238486758&colour=Grey&size=double-200-x-200cm&s_ppc=2dx92700055674842995&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CjwKCAiA-f78BRBbEiwATKRRBAaULC0PCJHp0XCelu4pVhJVZNrIh4Qa-1R6qY1-RGLHmx0gvEdegRoCxFcQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

@madcatladyforever absolutely love this - what a brilliant idea. I didn't even know these existed!

@catchingzzzeds also a wonderful idea - think this is super thoughtful however don't want to bulk out with rubbish because i cant think of anything other than a couple of items!

A calendar?
Window bird feeder?
Rose for the garden?
Crossword magazine subscription?

It's very tricky buying for older relatives

A hot water bottle?

My grandmother was similar. You couldn’t even ask her because all she ever said was “don’t waste your money on me”. One person each year used to buy her a box of Thornton’s - but even those she’d eek out until Easter!

I bought my GM a family tree cushion she was thrilled with it then I had to get my mum one because she really liked it.

Do you know what her favourite foods/drinks/treats are? Could you make her a hamper? They're things you wouldn't normally buy as gifts, but if it's presented nicely it could be lovely :).

Cashmere gloves? I just bought myself some from TurtleDoves. They’re lovely.

Cup and saucer, or a mug of similar daintiness

New Berry Fruits

Posh warm hat

(she sounds as if she was a decidedly Annoying Mother-in-law...)

DH’s gran was like this bless her.

What id say though is just because she’s difficult to your MIL doesn’t mean she would be to you and DP. I know DH’s gran could be a bit short and ungrateful seeming to my MIL but she was always made up with whatever her darling grandson gave her (not that she ever really used it or anything but she acted pleased at least!) Same as she’d always have some issue with MIL’s Christmas dinner but mine was the best she’d ever tasted apparently.

I let DH sort his own family presents out. They’re ‘from’ both of us but I refuse to do all the work and my family is huge so I have enough on my plate sorting that. DH’s family are weird about presents and only ever seem to want vouchers, I think that’s a bit shit personally but the one year I stepped in with super thoughtful presents all round they got such a lukewarm reception and I thought stuff it and I leave him to get his boring vouchers now!

My MIL used to do a lot of crosswords (& other puzzles too - have you tried her on Sudoku or Wordsearch?) and one year we got her an electronic solver thing like this

www.whsmith.co.uk/products/oxford-er3200-crossword-solver/5012789413648.html

What I'm giving to another puzzler I know is a book of them based on her year of birth (1935 is the earliest one, just using that for reference ) They're about things that would have happened in that person's lifetime.

www.amazon.co.uk/Born-1935-Wordsearch-Puzzles-Travel/dp/1912883163?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Cashmere wrist warmers are nice. Better than gloves for indoors.

Super soft velvet scarves, and what pp said - I bet the GM will be lovely about whatever you buy her (while continuing to give her poor DIL the stinkeye )

My partners GM always appreciates candles, tea towels or flowers! Letter box flowers went down a real treat as she loved taking the time to arrange them!

On a side note have you ever watched 'Monster in law' could be a dynamic here perhaps . (Dil horrible, gdil amazing).

What about one of those heated cushions with beads in it and you put it in the microwave? Bit safer than a hot water bottle

Why are you sorting out? Why is she so ungrateful to MIL? Be careful you're not setting yourself up for a verbal slap like your MIL got

Jigsaws always go down well with my elderly MIL. Betty's treats bought online, posh Hand cream, a shawl with pockets for sitting watching the TV in, a nice scarf/gloves.

I have one of the coverless duvets and they are great, but it is a low tog and it may not be warm enough for winter. Also, my MIL wouldn't like the fact that they are plain grey or white!!

trinket boxes - china or crystal
Posh china cup and saucer and plate with a box of treat cakes and nice tea
Anything that is edible so can be eaten up and not add to the sorting out when they move on (I smiled to myself when sorting MIL flat this last month and came across some things I bought her unused but I like - lol)
Experience - high tea somewhere
I used to do her a stocking wiwth bits - so wooly warm socks she like long ones for bed!, gloves/hat/scarf, pretty inexpensive brooch, nice glasses chain or case, dollied up writing paper envelopes and stamps - even selection of birthday cards (I make them), Lovely lap blanket from where she was from in Ireland, old fashioned cotton hankies or lovely boxed soft tissues, M&S vouchers - she liked to get her dinners from there I think that is all she spent it on and pop socks lol. favourite packet of sweets (mixed mints humbugs etc), fancy tin of biscuits (M&S and the supermarkets seem to do attractive tins - she kind of had a thing for anything she could reuse, subscription to peoples friends or puzzle type magazine. Magnifier - small discrete etc just some of the things we got for her

Sorry to sound a complete idiot, but the coverless duvet...looks like a duvet without a cover.

What is the difference?

She likes you and she is being on best behaviour so you can buy her anything.

Her stroppyness is only for those who can’t avoid her

I am 76 and my key word is’soft’ so blanket obviously great. There is a company called Turtle Dove which makes things from recycled cashmere and I love them .

It was before we met but when my husband's mother turned 80 he paid for the two of them to have a hot air balloon ride!

She's no longer with us but he has lovely memories of an exciting day they shared and enjoyed together.

could you get her a voucher for an afternoon tea at a local cafe that could be redeemed once lock down is over?
You could all go together and make an occasion of it. I know lots of relatives who have really appreciated that as a gift.