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Original poster

What age would you tell them about Santa?

45 replies

Nosebogey · 29/08/2020 16:49

As ds gets older, he still believes. At what age should you tell them the truth if they are strongly believing still? I worry about him getting made fun of at school. I remember defending that Santa was real until I was blue in the face in year 5 and finding out a few weeks later and being mortified. 😂

I’m sad that the magic of Christmas won’t be the same if I tell him but I don’t want him to be the odd one out if his friends don’t believe anymore :(

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 29/08/2020 16:51

I’d say by 10/11 they should know

SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito · 29/08/2020 16:54

Before they go up to secondary school!

FjorGynAndHotWater · 29/08/2020 16:56

Don't tell them! My DS probably still half believed when he went to high school, although with sufficient doubt so as not to go on about it and embarrass himself... he doesn't believe any more, even though I still do Grin

Lockdownseperation · 29/08/2020 16:56

Before secondary school.

AliMonkey · 29/08/2020 17:08

I told DS at end of Y6 as everyone says you should tell them before secondary. But two years later he still says he wishes I hadn’t told him.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 29/08/2020 17:10

I've one in Yr5, one in Yr3. I suspect this may the last year. I'm hoping I've got one more year anyway.

bellinisurge · 29/08/2020 17:11

Before secondary school.

CeeJay81 · 29/08/2020 18:04

We told our son just before Christmas last year, he was 10 going on 11 and having doubts. This year he'll be at high school, so im glad he knows. He is still looking forward to Christmas though, but now when he asks for something ridiculously overpriced, we can just say no we can't afford it instead of thinking up reasons why Santa can't get it

growinggreyer · 29/08/2020 18:07

I don't think you should need to tell them, it's their job as emerging rational people to think about it and come to a sensible conclusion. You should offer clues, though. If they no longer believe in the tooth fairy you could mention Santa's elves and fairies in the same sentence, or discuss whether Yetis can live at the North Pole with Santa etc. The penny should drop in a humorous way so they can enjoy the fantasy rather than as a horrible crash into reality.

Suzi888 · 29/08/2020 18:10

NEVERGrin I can remember me and my best mate charging around secondary school “those that don’t believe won’t receive” .... lol I’d say by secondary school. Nice you’ve kept the magic going this long.

RandomTree · 29/08/2020 18:11

In the summer before secondary school.

ginsparkles · 29/08/2020 18:14

My DD is 8, and I have started laying some ground work. She has started to be our Santa, so when she asks we will tell her that we are her Santa and she is ours, Santa is everyone who spreads Christmas joy.

sillybean · 29/08/2020 18:32

I agree with @growinggreyer rather than explicitly say could you not ask a number of questions so that he can get to the answer himself? Like...

How does Santa monitor who has been bad or good?

There are billions of children in the world, how could one man possibly deliver all those presents in one night?

What actually lives in the North Pole? Etc.

yellowsun · 29/08/2020 18:40

DS starts secondary school next week and we always said we tell him before he started. He is going through ASC diagnosis and very much believes. However, the pandemic happened and he’s already had a crap end of primary and start to secondary - I’m not sure if I can land this on him too!

I’m wondering about having a conversation about him about some children not believing so keeping his beliefs quiet at school in case they make fun of him - this might lead to him questioning it which is fine if he comes to it himself. What do you all think?

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 29/08/2020 18:44

I've never told mine! I don't confirm or deny his existence. They pretend they still believe Grin

MsTSwift · 29/08/2020 18:47

I think lots of parents believe that their dc believe but the kids actually humouring you 😁. I would be concerned if an NT 10 year old still believed...

Stompythedinosaur · 29/08/2020 19:52

I dont plan on telling them. I imagine they'll work it out, but i fully intend to keep up my pretence into adulthood.

starlet14 · 29/08/2020 19:53

I was about 10/11 - in year 6 at school. Mum wanted to tell me before secondary. Looking back I feel like a d**k for ever believing.

My son is 9 and young for his age (he has learning difficulties) so I have no idea when I will tell him!

hiredandsqueak · 29/08/2020 20:04

I didn't tell mine they worked it out themselves. I do remember dd1 saying to me "I know Santa's not real but we'd better not tell Daddy because he doesn't know yet" Even now they are adults they still leave me their stockings for Santa to fill.

napody · 29/08/2020 20:10

Agree with dropping hints gradually rather than dropping a bombshell.

My Mum started wrapping the stocking presents in the same paper as our presents from her! I as the eldest twigged but could 'nudge nudge, wink wink' about it and carry on the story for the younger two.

lorisparkle · 29/08/2020 20:15

My parents have never 'told' me and I have never told my own ds but it is just something you become aware of. I made it clear to my older ds that it was their responsibility to keep the magic alive for younger children whatever they believe.

peajotter · 29/08/2020 20:26

We’ve always said that Santa is from the world of magic. As they got older and knew that magic didn’t exist they drew their own conclusions. Plus it’s something your kids can say without spoiling things for other kids. Rather than saying “he’s not real”.

We also have a book about “the first Santa”, St Nicholas, which doesn’t say that Santa isn’t real but kids can work it out from that.

Spied · 29/08/2020 20:30

I was never told. Just came to that conclusion myself around age 12.

AliMonkey · 29/08/2020 21:21

Agree with gentle approach - when I said above that I told DS, it actually started with a complaint from him that tooth fairy had forgotten and me saying something along the lines that she must be very busy doing x (can’t remember what but something along the lines of doing the ironing when he knew I had been ironing the evening before). So the penny dropped re tooth fairy and then he paused and said “and what about Father Christmas?” so I told him. He genuinely believed both up to them (though had obviously heard others say they didn’t exist so had the seeds of doubt). With DD (older) she worked it out for herself about age 9 when I decided there was no way I could get money under her pillow as she had her head right on top of tooth and for first time ever DH decided to do it ... next morning she said “why was Daddy looking under my pillow last night?”! So with both it was knowing about tooth fairy that Immediately led to them asking about Father Christmas and me confirming it.

Glendaruel · 29/08/2020 21:38

What do you mean, Santa's not real, whose been filling my stocking for past 40 years?