First Christmas with miracle baby

[RestorationInsanity]

Hello fellow Christmas lovers! I know that all babies are precious, but my first baby will be arriving on 4 December (give or take a couple of weeks) after 4 years of baby loss, infertility and early menopause (I'm only 31!) and I never thought I'd have a baby at all, let alone a Christmas baby! I don't want to create unnecessary stress, and let's not even start on how to keep 3 sets of parents, plus adult siblings, happy about the Christmas arrangements with a newborn, but I'd love to hear what you did to make that first Christmas feel extra special. Normally I'm a total Christmas fanatic, the decorations, the food, Christmas films etc (all year round), but any ideas for some simple and meaningful (not too commercial) ways to carve out time, or create new traditions, to celebrate us being a family of 3 would be great!

Congratulations! My DD turned 2 months old on Christmas Day a few years ago. We made a clay hand print using a kit, had a cute Christmas outfit, and she had a personalised stocking that we've used every year since. She slept through most of the day, so keep it simple. Traditions will come later, although I completely understand how exciting it is

Aw how lovely. I'd keep it fairly low key. Life with a newborn is fairly full on as it is! My DS was 12 weeks last Christmas. I got him a play gym, which we got loads of use out of. My mum knitted him a stocking that hopefully he will use every christmas. I stuck a few things like his christmas outfit and a teething ring in it. Obviously a nice bauble for the tree. This year I'm largely sticking with getting things for future Christmases, so a Christmas eve box and a Santa plate.

I'd say keep it low key and fairly simple this year. Baby will still be only two or three weeks old and very likely still needing several feeds throughout the night.

Take help from any family and friends who are willing to offer it.

My DD2 (now 21) was born on 6th December. That year my MIL and FIL came to our house and cooked Christmas dinner for all of us. They brought most of the food and wine with them too. DH just had to get any additional stuff we wanted.

Babies that age really don't have any idea what is going on and will just feed, fill nappies and sleep, so just take some nice photos whenever you get the opportunity. Traditions will evolve over the coming years. We already had three year old DD1 at that stage, so well into the Father Christmas stuff and it was exhausting. Enjoyable mostly, but exhausting.

Definitely get someone else to cook Christmas dinner so you can just enjoy newborn snuggles and soak up the atmosphere.

I had a similar situation as after 10 years of failed fertility treatment we adopted a baby.

I put a lot of pressure on myself with regards to the first Christmas which was two months after we brought our son home.

I made the mistake of accommodating everyone's wishes to be here for baby's first Christmas with us. I exhausted myself by having a house full of guests to cook for and run around after while everyone else enjoyed cuddles with the baby. I ended up in tears and felt really bitter about it for ages afterwards. I'd spent years imagining what Christmas would be like once we had a family and it didn't live up to my expectations at all.

If I could go back in time
It would just be the three of us and I'd keep everything really simple and easy.

Thank you everyone. Totally hear what you're saying about trying to keep it simple and not too busy. Our nearest family is my parents, just over an hour away so current thinking is they will come to us and or we will go to them and be cooked for (depending on whether baby turns up before or after due date). In laws are 2.5 to 4 hours away, so will offer for them to visit between Christmas and New Year and then have new year to ourselves.

Definitely will get a bauble for the tree, and a stocking. Otherwise will just try and chill out, let other people do the work, and maybe have a glass of champagne to celebrate!

I’d also suggest keeping it simple. You’ll likely be exhausted and depending on the birth maybe physically recovering to. At that very young age lots of things going on, different people, change to routine etc can be over stimulating and you end up with a distressed baby that is hard to settle.

Keep it simple. Do what makes you and your DH happy. We made the mistake of trying to keep everyone happy for our baby’s first Christmas and it was stressful. Years on, I’m still annoyed that our first Christmas as mummy and daddy was spoilt by the demands of other family members.

Take help from family and certainly don't cook! At that age they only need to be clean, to be fed and to be cuddled - they don't need gifts. I would go with a simple first Christmas baby gro (2 in fact, just in case) and a bauble for the tree, nothing more - if family want to buy gifts suggest money towards car seats, high chairs etc which are needed a few months along. The good news is they are very portable at that age, so going to someone's house is quite easy, just ensure they have somewhere you can have a lie down because you are likely to be tired (and 2 hours sleep is a brilliant Christmas gift for any new mum!) you may still prefer privacy for feeding if breastfeeding too, I didn't care but if it's still tricky some families are not keen on the idea kwim.

Stay at home and enjoy your first Christmas, just you two and the baby. It will be very special, you won’t even need to work at that. Quiet, cosy evening the night before, a relaxed and leisurely morning, a dinner that can go straight into the oven without any hassle.

Then have family over on Boxing Day to fuss over you and the baby.

I think deciding closer to the time whether to go to your dps or they come to you is a good plan. It is good for someone else to cook, but my new born hated going in their car seat so it would have been difficult for us to travel.

Re visiting in laws - beat in mind that networks can't be in a car seat for more than two hours so longer journeys can be quite arduous and require stops. It might be easier to have them come to you and stay in a hotel, if that is a possible. If you go 2 weeks over (which is not unusual) then you will likely still be sore down below, passing a lot of blood and trying to establish feeding.

Networks = newborns

Buy a pretty ornament storage box that holds around 24 and make it a tradition to buy one each Christmas which will be theirs when they set up their own home.
(Obviously that is way in the future :) )

We bought DS a personalised bauble (from a company called Clouds and Currents if you’re interested) and we’ve taken a photo of him hanging his bauble on the tree each year.

Oh and if relatives want to get presents for baby either suggest specific useful things or try and get them to talk amongst themselves. We got 3 musical dogs last year!

You're all absolutely right. DH is super keen to have a big family Christmas with the baby, and I don't want to be negative about that, but I also don't want to put plans in and then tell people they can't happen, or be forced to go through with them even if I don't feel like up to it. Maybe we will just say to family, once the baby arrives, we'll decide what's possible and then let you know. All our family either have Christmas time with us or in their own homes with immediate family only, so no messing up of major plans (plus with COVID who even knows what will be allowed!)

@McQueensMuse that is a wonderful idea. I adore buying Christmas ornaments and DH will just be glad they're not more for us! 😂

With them being a few weeks old as others have said there won't really be a routine at that point, a cycle of eat, sleep, poop etc. So prepare yourself for probably needing or wanting a few naps yourself on the day!

I would focus on keeping things simple for you and your partner to enjoy i.e. an easy to cook meal, a xmas movie or tv show you want to watch on the day, presents and stuff. In terms of the baby maybe a cute xmas outfit and decoration will be enough, one or two toys.

Congrats, OP!
It sounds so corny but my favourite memory of my DD’s first Christmas is her waking up about 4am for a feed and I fed her by the light of the Christmas tree, and twinkly and colourful. I looked down at my 6 week old DD (who had given us all a scare at 3 weeks old and spent a week in hospital - thankfully all was fine) and I just thought how lucky am I. Slept depravation was a bitch but I’m so thankful it didn’t wipe that memory because it’s beautiful.
So my advice would be to try and find some quiet moments with your baby, either as a 3 or just you & baby, where you go into a separate room for a peaceful feed, or you go for a nice walk, where you can just soak up everything that you’re feeling, and be present.

Also - we found somewhere to paint DD and DS’s handprints / footprints on to Christmas baubles, so I can bring them out every year and look at how teeny tiny they were! (And never put them on the tree because I’m scared they’ll get knocked off and smash )

DH is super keen to have a big family Christmas with the baby

Do not get pushed into arranging this now.

DD is also a December baby and was late. And a CS. A big Christmas would have been dreadful.

I like the North American idea of an open house. Pick a day just before Christmas, get in booze, nibbles and set a time (11-4 maybe). Everyone is welcome. Feels very Christmassy, informal, lovely. But no Christmas Day pressure.

No way travel that far to in laws. Host them for a buffet lunch at yours.
You will not want to go ANYWHERE when baby has arrived.
You will be VERY tired.
Put your little family first and let the grown ups fit around you X

Either have somebody else cook Christmas dinner, get it all bought in as nice quality bung it in the oven stuff, or don't have a Christmas dinner, pre-make a lasagne or something

My DS was 3.5 weeks at Christmas and almost four years on, i have absolutely no recollection of it at all. I was completely gooned on painkillers, sleep deprivation and soppy wonderful newborn love. So take pictures, lots of pictures

Tradition starty wise, my DS gets the John Lewis PJs and toy every year as his Christmas PJs (except the Elton john piano year, he didn't get a piano, we live in a 2up2down terrace ) tradition started by my Dad, the least sentimental person ever! These arrive in his Christmas Eve basket. With his stocking (used to be my stocking) santa plate (as above) and bath stuff. And his copy of twas the night before Christmas. It's all reused apart from the PJs and toy and bath bomb so as zero waste as possible.

We have something easy for tea Christmas eve, a macaroni cheese with garlic bread that I can pre-make and then whack in the oven.

Be kind to yourself, I put the Christmas tree up five days post fairly brutal C-section and insisted on going shopping etc. It was unnecessary, I was ridiculous. Just take the time to recover, be looked after, eat nice food and snuggle your little miracle.

Congratulations OP!

My little boy was born in November last year. I am Christmas on the brain (hence being on the Christmas board in July ) and although it was amazing to have him for Christmas it was also really tough. I was knackered, baby wasn’t a great feeder and we had family pressure to visit.

I would make no plans at all now and see how you feel once baby is here. We went to my parents for Christmas lunch which was lovely and no pressure at all on me bar to sit and get looked after and I could go upstairs to feed. Boxing Day we were expected at my in laws and they took great exception to me not wanting to stay all day because I wanted to feed in privacy. I wish I could turn the clock back and tell them to do one.

Some lovely things we did do:

Took baby in the pram to a Christmas lights display. Who knows if he could even see them but he seemed to enjoy it

Took baby to see Santa. I know he hadn’t a clue but the pic is adorable.

Bought a beautiful copy of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and read it by the fire to baby on Christmas Eve. It was so lovely.

I decorated his activity mat with Christmas lights (safely obviously!)

Bought him the John Lewis toy as above and a beautiful personalised stocking.

Enjoy every minute with your lovely new baby!

Whoever said their Dm knitted a Christmas stocking, I do think that’s a lovely idea - something to keep. OP, FGS don’t offer to cook for a crowd!
Last Christmas my dd was v heavily pregnant with number 3 - we took absolutely everything and I cooked at hers. If family want to come to you, tell them that’s the deal.

Ahhh Congratulations

I am as Christmassey as Christmas itself . My PFB was born a couple of weeks before the Millenium.

Everyone was so hyped about that Christmas and especially the New Year.

I did decorate (tree , mantle piece ) but when he was born, it was like everyone was moving at 90mph and I stepped off the world for a bit .
The only imortant thing was DS , DH and me , (though DS was a little demon who never slept )

Christmas Day was a blur . We didn't host .
We went out for a walk late Boxing Day , to see everyones decorations and lights . DS slept (hoorah) in his pram.

Don't plan .
Buy things in advance ( I didn't have online shopping back in 1999)

Go with how you feel.

And lots and lots of photos and video .