Nieces/Nephews

[BumpkinSpiceBatty]

Can I ask what people do for larger extended families?
I now have nine nieces and nephews to buy for 😬. We don't live close by, so there is additional shipping or posting costs on top of the cost of gifts.
I just can't afford to carry on as we were, it has previously been about £30 spent on each of them.
I am self employed and haven't had a wage since march, so I just can't do it this year.
I was thinking of a book with a tenner in a card? What would you do?

I would explain to your siblings/in laws about your current financial situation and I would just send some chocolate.

That sounds fine to me. There comes a point where you have to cut back on the spending - Christmas shouldn't be stressing people out in July, so something has to change!
In my family we only buy for the kids now and not the adults as it was getting ridiculously expensive.

I think a tenner in a card is fine.
We stop gifts at 18 too.

Similar situation here - not self-employed but my job/entire career sector is at risk so I'm watching every penny at the moment. I've just spent £50 on a birthday present for one of my nephews this week and feel like I could cry. This kind of spending (£50 on birthdays, £30 at christmas - 6 nieces and nephews in total) has become the expected norm and my family are unfortunately quite materialistic - my love for them as an Aunt/Godmother seems directly related to the presents they receive. I'm childless which makes it harder - trying to talk to my sibling about it but they just brush it off because not having children of my own = disposable income to spend on theirs. I do obviously understand that someone in my situation with children is clearly in a much tougher situation and in that case I am privileged but it doesn't completely negate my financial situation and yes, it's July and I'm totally stressed about it.

No dc of our own but 5 nieces / nephews to buy for here.

Years ago we worked out what we could afford to spend on Christmas presents for everyone then divided that between who we had to buy for. At the time that meant around £15 for nieces / nephews.

While it has increased a little over the years, we basically stick to the budget that suits us. I can't imagine anyone would be happy about causing us stress just so we could buy them a specific present / spend a set amount!

Buy / spend what you can afford. Only someone really rude would complain.

I hear you. We have 12, and counting, neices and nephews to buy for. I save all year round and stick to a strict budget. Not massively helpful for you this time round, but even setting aside £20 a month adds up and gives you a nice pot by Nov/Dec.

However, I think your idea sounds perfectly reasonable. This year is going to be harder for so many. Family should totally understand this.

Thank you everyone that is really helpful to hear other people are in similar situations.
I think I will do a pack of books from the book people, a chocolate lolly and the £10.

I used to find something with an initial on. I have 13 I think

My mum's side of the family alone I grew up with nearly 20 cousins, so it would have been impossible to buy everyone something. I believe between mum and her sisters they drew names each year to decide which sister to buy for and by extension the kids of that sister to make it easier! They then stopped buying for nephews/nieces when they got to 18.

The family's drifted apart but my mum remains close to 3 of her sisters so I know they still buy for each other now, all the cousins are more or less grown up, the youngest is now 17.

My kids have 7 cousins on my side of the family. We do buy gifts for the kids, but we tend to stick to about £10 - £15 per head. After they turn 18 it's only special birthdays, 21, 30 etc. Otherwise just a card. I would hate for my siblings to be stressing about spending money on my kids, especially since they don't need lots of stuff. An acknowledgement of their birthday and spending some time with them would be preferable to mounds of plastic tat, imo.

I think chocolate, a book and £10 is very generous! Please don’t put yourself in hardship for Christmas (I sound like Martin Lewis). I’m sure your nieces and nephews would love the chocolate and book alone!

Not what you asked, but The Book People has closed now (i believe they are still fulfilling some last remaining orders). Hopefully someone will be able to
Suggest a good alternative.

I’ve just bought a couple of books from eBay and they’re from book sellers in the UK. One was new and one secondhand but said very good condition. Worth a try especially if anyone is trying to reduce Amazon purchases.

I have 8 nieces and nephews, and budget around £10 each - I think that shows we have thought about them, but doesn't make anyone feel uncomfortable or as though they can't keep up.

To be honest, I'd be embarrassed if my siblings spent much more than that on my children - I know some of them couldn't afford it, so it's better to keep it lower for everyone.

A book and some chocolate is a lovely present, even without the tenner imo.

The Works are a good place to buy cheap books. I just got DS a bundle of 10 books for a tenner. So I would defo recommend looking there. CRAFT20 should get you 20% off!

£10 is a good limit if u have a few children to buy for. In theory what you could do if there was an even number something like

Argos 2 for €15
Selection box each
A small stocking filler for 1.50

Would still take u to the £10 each child and could be tailored to the kids individual likes e.g. in the 2 for 15 you could get a lol doll item for a girl and something like Lego for a boy, poundshop and most retailers will have small stocking fillers like bath bombs, accessories, stationary, xmas colouring books or crafts etc. X

For younger girls I tend to buy £10 Claire's Accessories voucher each.

We get them a voucher towards a family day out, or an activity they all can do as my bil has 8 children and then we’ve got 4 more in the other side..! So the one with 4 younger kids we get them a voucher for their local zoo or something!

I'm part of a big family where we are all on a low income. When me and my sister had our eldest kids we made a pact to only buy for the kids not each other, and set a very very modest £5 budget.

It's all the kids have ever known and once they get to about age 8 it's generally cash in a card.

Just explain to family as you have here! Bung them all a cash note in a card, and maybe a box of sweets or chocs to share. Or even a big selection box each!

After all this covid hooha, surely families should just appreciate still having each other rather than be holding an expectation of a certain amount spent.

Oh also, the website Books For Bugs is fantastic for cheap kids books. I've found it a good replacement for the book people since they closed.

Another route to go is to give a family gift of a game of some sort. So larger present but bought to be enjoyed as a family. Keeping it around 2-30 a family